Well I figure it's been a few weeks since I saw The Dark Knight Rises. I've now collected my thoughts and figured I might as well do one of these WTF lists for one of the biggest summer blockbusters in years.
I have to admit, I liked how it concluded but to me Rises has a Revolutions and Return of the Jedi feel to it. Both are adequate finales but none could live up to their predecessor movies. All in all Bane pushed Nolan's Batman to the brink and riddled the end of the trilogy with ideas of who we are, particularly as Americans. The dirty word here is class and Nolan addresses the issue front and center. We all know Bruce is rich as fuck, but he hasn't lived the lives of 80% of us.
So here be my WTF list with obvious jokes and spoilers.
1.) Umm where's Harley Quinn?
2.) So who installed all the gizmos and contraptions in the Bat cave? Best Buy's geek squad? You mean to tell me Bruce and Alfred did it all themselves?
3.) So how much does it pay to be a Bane henchman? Minimum wage? Do I get benefits?
4.) Anne Hathaway is one of those actresses I respect as she does kid movies, Skinemax, serious indies, rom coms with nudity and blockbuster flicks. No need for stunt boobies.
5.) JGL is clearly Robin in waiting.
6.) Juno Temple is going to be a huge star. See I wrote about it already.
7.) Matthew Modine is such a spazz.
8.) I think half of Gotham knows Bruce is Batman
9.) I like this version of Catwoman. Though the costume needed that cleavage buster from Arkham City.
10.) So Gotham goes all isolation. Did everybody still have TV? Internet? If Bane shut down the Internet, heads would roll.
11.) 3 months of Occupy Bane. I mean was anybody taking out the garbage?
12.) Batman didn't use a lot of his gadgets from his utility belt this time around. Where was the Bat jammer?
13.) So nobody really bothered to look for The Bat plane/coptor/craft?
14.) I forgot to say, Bane fucking up Wall Street was fuckin awesome
15.) I didn't see the twist coming but I was not surprised. I've played hours of Arkham City.
16.) The Riddler and Penguin must be like...fuck this. Let's make trouble in Metropolis.
17.) Bane kinda dies like a pussy no?
18.) Bruce banging everything in sight it seems.
19.) So does Robin have to special order his tech and shit from Alfred?
20.) The ending seems all Inception-ish doesn't it? I don't trust Nolan. All that happy ending is in Alfred's head.
Add your own blurbs to this list. What did you think of the finale?
Well if your like me, your surfing your favorite sites to get your Comic Con 2011 news of the day. Lots of stuff has been unveiled and announced and some have got me a wee bit excited. Here's my perspective on the good as of yesterday.
Guillermo del Toro announces his version of Frankenstein (via Dread Central)
Would You Rather is a horror film starring Brittany Snow, Sasha Grey and Jeffrey Combs (its got an interesting concept...and the fact that I've seen Ms. Grey do unspeakable things makes me curious) (via Bloody Disgusting)
Below is the trailer for Paranormal Activity 3 and a clip fro Walking Dead: The 2nd Season, both look stellar.
Chime in via the comments about what your excited for. Also, as news gets released throw in your 2 cents and provide some linkage on some breaking news and awesome videos.
I'm thinking I might go next year. I figure I should go once in my life to the geekfests of all nerdfests right?
If you've been a regular reader of this blog, you know I've covered everything about Black Dynamite on this here blog. From the awesome trailers to a review of the movie, to a press packet to "Fight Smack in the Orphanage!", to its DVD release, to the animated series announcement and coverage about the upcoming comic book.
I'm a Black Dynamite fan through and through.
So when I was lucky enough to get an early copy of the first issue of Black Dynamite: Slave Island, I was happier than a dude at an orgy. Thanks to Scott Sanders, Ars Nova and Ape Marketing for making this happen. I am hear to tell you that this first issue lives up to everything the movie was so awesome at. Blaxploitation hilarity, 70s throwbackness and hysterical ads.
So what's the plot?
Released by indie publisher Ape Entertainment with a story by Michael Jai White, Byron Minns, and Scott Sanders, the one-shot Black Dynamite: Slave Island follows our hero as he seeks to put an end to a mysterious island… where an insidious 19th century legacy of The Man still exists.
Here's my review!
the jaded viewer says: Black Dynamite the movie spun the whole blaxploitation satire into a whole new realm with our hero Black Dynamite, a secret agent and legendary stallion reaching cult status. Slave Island is a pseudo sequel as BD continues to fight the oppression of his people in any form it takes.
And in Slave Island, the form is really fucked up.
When BD hears the story from a survivor of a mysterious island where slavery still exists, he takes it upon himself to recify the situation immediately. He gets to the island and realizes the fuckedupness of "Slave Island" is more dastardly than he realized. It's a vacation spot for whitey where the past has been rebuilt in all its evil glory. The slaves are mentally and physically abused and BD realizes what he needs to do. To put it bluntly he has to "burn this motherfucker down".
And so BD moves forward with his one man revolution. But it's not as easy as pootang pie. In a classic preposterous scene he battles a shark underwater!?!? (I can tell you this was more awesome than zombie vs shark) , gets captured and gets sold in an auction. This leads to seeing the "mandingo" in action as he satisfies his new white mistress.
Suffice it to say, BD doesn't just use violence to get the job done but words (in a speech that echoes MLK he gets the slaves on his side). But violence is way better than words and we get some awesome carnage the only way BD can deliver.
The artwork is pretty solid echoing the old 70s/80s style of comics. It actually looks like a comic full of wear and tear. The colors are nice and vibrant and the panels are strategically aligned. All in all, its like you picked up a comic book from 30 years ago.
The story and the writing is freakin brilliant. Written by Brian Ash from a story by Michael Jai White, Byron Minis and Scott Sanders, it's so Black Dynamite-ish to a tee. The dialogue is cleverly clever and the absurdity of each successive scene never wavers.
BD battles Hicks and his henchmen and it echoes the flavor of the original film.
Black Dynamite: Slave Island is a masterpiece of blaxpsploitation satire, hilarity and outrageousness. There are satirical ads for ex football player Farrante Jones throughout the comic which are brilliantly awesome. These are little throwbacks to ads that ran in every comic published back in the day. Even a brochure with a map of Slave Island is included which made me LOL.
Black Dynamite is a modern day hero who has the kung fu skills to fix the injustices of our world while single handily satisfying the thirst of women everywhere. Women want to be with him while men want to be him. But not everybody can free slaves from a Disney-fied whitey paradise. Only Black Dynamite can do it. He's got the brains, the brawn and the 'tude. So make sure you see him do his thang.
I'd like to thank everyone who participated in The Jaded Viewer's Buffy Comic Giveaway! I can't believe I got so many entries to this contest when I was only expecting maybe a dozen or so. Obvious nobody got the list of Big Bads wrong (you're all so Xander smart!) but the puns were priceless and I shared a few of them in the comments on the original post. Be sure to check them out.
Here's a couple of my favorites based on the clip below.
Here's mine: "I'd like a Double Medley Burger, small fries and a dusted vamp to go please"
And here are your punny puns.
"Every time I pull out the stake, they make with the shock and the awww. Maybe I really do need a nametag."
Vampire:" You fight like a barbarian you prissy little......." (death stab)
"One vampire stake, extra dusty."
"Got wood? I do....wait, that didn't come out right."
"Sorry, all out of A1."
"No neck-sucking on face-suckers for you."
*After defeating 3 vampires* "Well that was the worst Foursome ever."
"Well that's it. 3 spikes and I'm out."
"Oh C'mon, these teenagers fooling around have more endurance than that!"
I haven't had a contest in a while and I really never had anything good to giveaway. But with all this talk of a new Buffy remake coming out, I realized this would be the perfect contest for 2011.
So here's the deal. You're going to have to be a little creative to win. Below is a clip of Buffy dusting a vampire. If you're any kind of Buffy fan, you know she always has a nice witty quip or pun she says after she stakes a vamp. This one is:
"Three in one night, Giles would be so proud"
**UPDATE**
I'm changing this up a bit. There are 2 ways you can enter this contest to win 1 copy of Buffy the vampire Slayer, Season 8 Volume 1 entitled "The Long Way Home". Contest will run until the end of February. US only residents.
1.) I want you to come up with your most creative vampire comeback, pun or quip based upon the video above.
AND/OR
2.) Answer the question below.
Name the "Big Bad" from each of the 7 Seasons of BTVS.
Once you come up with your cleverly clever quip or name the Big Bads, e-mail or DM your name and e-mail address with your answers. Around March, I'll randomly pick a winner! If you do both, you get entered twice and double your chances!
Thanks to Mr. Rhinocerouslip Bumcrack who runs I FUCKING HATE R'n'B... and DUBSTEP!. He sent me a UK comic that was definitely not on my radar. My knowledge of top notch UK comic book writers has only come though via Garth Ennis (Irish, Preacher, The Boys), Mark Millar (Scottish, Kick-Ass, Wanted) and Alan Moore.
I absolutely dig Ennis whose series The Boys is so fuckin awesome. But I digress.
Zombo is the newest creation out of 2000AD and my first introduction to this publisher. So what's Zombo about?
Zombo: Zombo’s Eleven – When Flight 303 carrying government experiment ZOMBO crash landed on the lethal death world of Chronos, the flesh eating ghoul was the only survivor not picked off by the planet. Having joined forces with the eleven Suicide Boys – teens looking for spectacular ways to die – Zombo is on his way to becoming a TV star…
I absolutely loved Zombo. It blends wacky humor with complete evisceration on every page. It mixes in a bit of sci-fi, horror and Lost all into a wild Four Loko blackout in a can comic book. The cover absolutely sets the tone with Zombo politely asking: "Can I eat you, please?"
Zombo is a sort of anti-hero, part zombie and part human. Sent to the death world Chronos with other survivors the first book gives some back story and some serial wicked kills. They don't call it a death world for nothing.
Survivors you think may make it are all fodder for this death planet as the survivors die from poisoned fruit, vicious plants and even Zombo himself. Zombo's dialogue which have him addressing everybody as Mister give Zombo a childlike persona mixed in with a wild dog on a leash. The government agents who control Zombo have sent him to this world to clean up a Shadow rainbow blackhole (don't ask). Throw in some cannibals who leave a limbless and armless survivor in their wake and you got a death every 3 panels. It's not a stretch to say most people die gruesomely but Zombo survives because well he's already dead.
Al Ewing and Henry Flint, the creators of Zombo are on serious hallucinogenic drugs. I mean they write stuff in like a traveling variety Christmas show crashing landing and dying via a Christmas Tree monster and in the final book called "Zombo's Eleven" they have a 11 "Suicide Boys" who look to commit suicide and put it on "Death Tube". They're main focus is to film their deaths to get the best star rating.
Seriously, this is fuckin funny as hell. So wickedly WTF clever. Each of the characters in Zombo from a Russel Brand suicide boy parody to a Simon Cowell like asshole called Hank Epsilon are so annoying (like in real life), you're glad when they die, come back to life as zombies then die again.
The main adversary in Zombo is the death planet which causes humans to turn into zombies (who are just irritating talkative Return of the Living Dead zombies) . A final climactic battle onboard a space station involving zombies rampaging, zombie bees and Death Tube video massacres was truly fantastic.
I gotta admit, Zombo made me laugh in that this is insanely weird, fucked up and I must be high sorta way.
Sometimes being a blogger has its perks. Curiously, I was offered a chance to read a book that grabbed my attention the moment I read the description.
True stories of totally undeserved suffering. Spectacularly depressing. Nobody gets their just desserts.
Crushing defeats.
No happy endings.
Abject misery.
Pointless, endless grief.
Sin, suffering, redemption. That’s the movie, that’s the front page news, that’s the story of popular culture—of American culture. A ray of hope. A comeuppance. An all-for-the-best. Makes it easier to deal with the world’s suffering—to know that there’s a reason behind it, that it’ll always work out in the end, that people get what they deserve.
The fact: sometimes people suffer for no reason. No sin, no redemption—just suffering, suffering, suffering. Tales of Woe compiles today’s most awful narratives of human wretchedness. This is not Hollywood catharsis (someone overcomes something and the viewer is uplifted), this is Greek Catharsis: you watch people suffer horribly, and then feel better about your own life. Tales of Woe tells stories of murder, accident, depravity, cruelty, and senseless unhappiness: and all true. The Jaded Viewer says: What John Reed has compiled is pure punch in your stomach agony yet it's oddly mesmerizing to read. What you have is a mish mash of human suffering with no happy endings. The book emphasizes even in the description that these stories have no redemptions and feel goody outcomes yet as I read, my empathy gene was constantly triggered hoping that somehow, someway after each gut wrenching story this would be the one that goes all Cinderella.
But that only happens in Hollywood.
As a writer myself, I've written things that were in the realm of depressing hoping the reader realizes it's how real life plays out. The fact that all these stories are true makes it a million times harder to think that this ACTUALLY happened to these people.
Similar to documentaries, the book plays out the facts and intertwines them with a narrative that cleverly gets you to turn the pages with anticipation. The art is Dali meets graffiti and it plays out like visual candy. No holds barred gore and nudity to get images stuck in your head for days.
But it's the stories that get stuck in your head and force you to Google this real life horror. Animal death, grotesque death scenes, absurd sexual fetishes, human trafficking and infant death are just a few of the stories that line Tales of Woe.
The ones that got me utterly shocked was the tale of "The Crime Scene Centerfold" which delved into a car accident and the infamous photos that circulated across the interwebs. Another was of "Momma's Little Angel" detailing the plight of 2 year old home alone. It's lasting sadness and your first instinct is to scream "these are pointless deaths!" Tales of Woe never let's you off the hook, makes you dig further into these stories and does exactly what it set out to do.
Make you feel better about your own life.
And after reading Tales of Woe, I actually do.
I also got a chance to interview John Reed. The Q&A is a look into the inception of the book, how the art came to be and even what was edited out for being too sick. Check out the entire interview below.
1.) How did you come up with the concept for the book?
Well, you know, environmental factors, and probably a genetic disposition. I was sitting around with Jacob Hoye (my editor) at this fancy restaurant, just praying I wouldn't have to pay for any of the food and trying to pitch ideas as quickly as possible, and when I talked about "true stories that just got worse," he perked up and said, "now that's a book."
I like to think it was entirely the idea, but the pitch happened to coincide with the arrival of a giant plate of baked garlic, which Jacob had been eagerly anticipating. Young writers always get this thing told to them: "the fate of your book may be decided based on what that editor had for lunch."
Make sure to let your editor chose the spot.
2.) Which was the most interesting story from the book to you?
Interesting? Not sick or depressing? Hmm. The three most interesting are Cyco, Bee to the Honeyslut, and Crime Scene Centerfold. In the first, a man was placed on a sex-offender list for having sex with his bicycle. In the second, an alleged MILF seduction caught the participants up in a national scandal. In the third, a series of accident scene photos were half-intentionally released by one or more police officials; the incredibly grotesque photos of a mutilated young woman became, and remain, a top internet search.
What's so interesting to me about these stories is the viewer participation. Without the popular curiosity, without us, these stories, and certainly the first two, aren't that bad. And the third story: the death of a young woman in a car wreck is terrible, but her abuse after the fact, which was totally gratuitous, is the part that makes me feel like throwing up.
3.) How long did it take for you to research this? Were there any stories you didn't publish?
It took longer than it should have, because I looked for 50 stories. It turned out that the stories were so awful they were about twice as long as we'd expected. I'd say two to three months just finding the stories—that's not including the research that followed.
Yes, there were three stories that didn't make the cut. One was just not quite there, missing something. The second was a great story, but a long animal story, and we already had a number of animal stories, including one that was quite long. The third—we swore we wouldn't self censor but we did—was just too sick. Gang rape, woman forced to blow her son, and worse from there. We couldn't do it.
4.) How did the art come about?
I looked at over 3000 artists—comic conventions, anthologies and online. I worked with Jacob in the final selections. I usually knew what I wanted, had ideas. I give all the credit in the world to 8Pussy, my hero, but I will gloatingly take credit for Sarah Palin in a Sharon Stone Basic Instinct pose. The Pop Gun illustration, by Kiki Jones, was after my compositional notion to work off Caravaggio's The Entombment of Christ—but Kiki made some major adjustments that made the reference workable. There were other times, and I think of Ralph Niese's Art Attack, that I said do what you want. Of course, he did that one three times before we were happy. 5.) What are you hoping readers come away after reading the book?
Pre-publication, in planning what I would say in my own defense, I kept thinking to cite Greek Catharsis, that you'd read about these horrible things, and then feel better about your own life. That did happen to me, but the assumption that it would happen to anyone else—well, it seemed like a pipe dream. Only a fool would jump and down saying, "I was right! I was right!" but I guess that's what I'm going to do. People are telling me they feel better about their not-so-fucked up lives.
A journalist friend recently emailed me with her take on Tales of Woe. "Do you know what the first Noble Truth of the four Noble Truths of Buddhism is?" she asked.
"Kick-Ass is simply perfection in what a comic book movie is suppose to be. It politely mocks the genre but knows what the audience came to see. Witty humor, POW! BAM! action and a new band of heroes that you won't ever forget. Kick-Ass sits on the throne of comic book movie royalty daring anybody to take away it's crown. Hit Girl says it best."
"OK cunts, let's see what you can do now"
But not all the critics have agreed with my 4 spinkick review. Currently Kick-Ass is at 77% Fresh at Rotten Tomatoes and a few notable critics like Roger Ebert have bashed it for glorifying Hit Girls violent and profane actions and words. Others think there is no satire in the entire film.
Of course there is SATIRE you dumb mofo's! The satire is in the fact that a regular dude could become wildly popular in this Internets viral age. Where some people can get famous for whining in front of their web cam or doing some silly dance, the fact that footage of Kick-Ass doing something heroic and it being the trigger to his popularity and spawning of "other superheroes" is the satire of the social and internet age.
Anybody can get their 15, but Kick-Ass states: Can you get your 15 and do something positive with it?
That's the satire. That a kid with no superpowers becomes an icon for the viral age and annihilates "the evil in the city".
Sure it's pretty comic booky in its violence, but that's where the fun comes in.
Back to Hit Girl's violent poetry and profanity laced 'logue. These middle aged, web illiterate critics denounce Chloe Moretz's awesome performance and feel deep hatred towards Matthew Vaughn's direction. I respect Ebert and his opinion but I heard the same echoes from those critics from At The Movies.
So I put this question for ya.
What if Hit Girl was Hit Boy. Would you still feel the same way?
Would seeing a tweeny boy kill and curse make it ok? Is it because Mindy Macready and her father are a 1-2 punch of death fury that makes it uncomfortable? C'mon now, don't be fuckin hypocritical now you old geezers. Why can't we have girl power ala The Bride in Kill Bill?
We've had movies where tweeny girls have put in very adult situations (shit wasn't that Precious movie was fucked up in that way)
Yeah the movie has intense uber action scenes (rockin out to Joan Jett's Bad Reputation) but its the reverse hierarchy. Kick-Ass is the wimp, Hit Girl is the one man army. Remember, when Buffy the Vampire Slayer came along, Whedon reversed this dynamic and wanted to give us a positive girl power heroine.
Sure, Hit Girl isn't in high school, but 11 yrs old or 10 (depending on the comic) but it's putting that idea in our head that anybody can be a superhero be it nerdy, comic book geeky kids or a tweeny pre-pubescent girl.
I guess the mentality of these old geezers is still the same as ever. Wake up guys. It's a whole new world and you're being left behind.
Watch Hit Girl curse and blow mafiosos away.
******************************************
OK, if you've seen the movie...what did you think? Was the movie awesome or average or horrible? Did you notice the satire as I did? What do you think Hit Girl and her character? Was her portrayal good, bad or ehhhh? Do you think seeing a 11 yr old girl assassinating mafiosos glorifies violence and how girls should act?
I had the super duper lucky opportunity to see Kick Ass early thanks to a UGO.com/Lions Gate screening for the NYC premiere of Kick Ass. Not only did I get to see the best superhero/comic book movie since The Dark Knight or Iron Man (take your pick), but Mark Millar and John Romita Jr., the writer and artist of the comic were also in attendance to do an awesome Q&A.
I'll get to the fun facts of that Q&A at the end of this review, but now here comes the fun part. I get to have a full frontal superhero orgasm for all of you.
This is one of the best movies of 2010.
Kick Ass kicks so much fuckin ass, I wanted to put on some spandex, fight crime and spew witty vulgarities with my 11 yr old female cousin dressed as Hit Girl. Which brings us to why Kick Ass is awesome-tastic.
It's not the titular character that blows you away (though he does have his hilarious moments) but it's Hit Girl, the potty mouth pre-pubescent tween daughter of Big Daddy (Nic Cage doing his best Adam West impersonation) that steals the show. Chloe Moretz is so fantastic as Hit Girl you sincerely believe she loves ice cream sundaes and switchblades and can assassinate an army of mafiosos with a blink of an eye. (FYI: Moretz will star as Abby the vampire in Let Me In, the American remake of Let the Right One In)
Never has a little girl been so lethal with guns, yo yo string MacGyver devices and a blade.
Let's kick some ass with this review. SOME MILD SPOILERS BELOW.
Boring Plot-O-Matic
Adapted from Mark Millar's hyper-violent comic book of the same name, director Matthew Vaughn (Layer Cake)'s vigilante superhero film tells the tale of an average New York teenager who decides to don a costume and fight crime. Comic book geek Dave Lizewski (Aaron Johnson) may not have good coordination or special powers, but that doesn't mean he isn't a fully-capable crime fighter. After purchasing a flashy wet-suit on the internet, Dave starts busting up baddies with nothing but brute force. He calls himself Kick-Ass, and he can take a beating as good as he can dish one out.
Before long, Kick-Ass has become a local sensation, and others are following his lead. Big Daddy (Nicolas Cage) and Hit-Girl (Chloe Moritz) are a father-daughter crime-fighting duo who have set their sights on local mob heavy Frank D'Amico (Mark Strong). They're doing a decent job of dismantling Frank's sizable underworld empire when Kick-Ass gets drawn into the fray. But Frank's men play rough, and his son Chris (Christopher Mintz-Plasse) is about to become Kick-Ass' very first arch nemesis.
When Chris assumes the persona of Red Mist, the stage is set for a superhero showdown that could spell the end of Kick-Ass once and for all.
Awesome Review-O-Matic
The superhero movies that have recently come out are filled with your favs: Superman, Batman, Iron Man, Hulk. It's rare to have a comic book movie get made where you aren't too familiar with the characters. And I'll be honest, I had never heard of Kick Ass until a few months back. Having seen the trailer, it looked super duper cool and knowing it was written by Mark Millar (who also wrote Wanted), I knew it was going to be mega-tastic. (Don't judge Wanted by the Jolie flick, the graphic novel is far superior and completely different from the flick).
So brushing up on the knowledge, I decided to go in clean and not pick up the comic at all. I usually do read the comics most comic book movies are based on but I decided not to on this one. And I'm glad I didn't.
The movie stands alone and riddled me with a thousand bullets of glee. And to NOT know anything made it all the waaay awesomer. So lets get to the awesomeness.
Every movie has 3 acts. So I'm going to break it down that way.
Act 1: "Dave Lizewski meet Kick Ass"
The opening of Kick-Ass is in the trailer. And every time I watch it, I LOL. Act I is the origin of Kick Ass and it starts with the question. Why hasn't someone tried to be a real life superhero? That's what Dave Lizewski decides to do. The brilliance of Kick Ass is that it slightly parodies the Spiderman origin story.
We have the same NYC setting, a nerdy loner, a crush on the hot girl, dorky friends and an arch enemy whose filthy rich. But if Spiderman is all that is right, Kick Ass is all that is bizarro. Dave doesn't have special powers and thus why the line I started this review echoes loudly.
Soon, Kick Ass is an Internet sensation racking up YouTube views and MySpace friends (what no Facebook?). Dave is enjoying his alter ego and who wouldn't enjoy being a full fledged superhero, hooking up with the hottie and being popular.
Top 3 Scenes of Act 1
Kick Ass gets his ass kicked
Kick Ass gets his ass kicked again but kicks ass himself
Kick Ass becomes a phenomenon
Act 2: "Kick Ass meet Big Daddy and Hit Girl"
Our introduction to these two is best illustrated through this awesome clip below.
Damon Macready was once a supercop (his back story is told in an animated comic panel) and with his daughter Mindy are the living parody of Batman and Robin. I'd like to say they are BETTER than that ambiguous gay duo. As Big Daddy and Hit Girl, they are a lethal combination and every scene they're in is magic. Nic Cage plays the crazy, vigilante father so perfectly, it's like he was born to play Big Daddy.
But Chloe Moretz as Mindy aka Hit Girl is so tweeny cute, when she goes into action against a street gang whose got Kick Ass on the ropes, it's violent gory fun. The comic doesn't spare you the gruesomeness of annihilating the criminal underground and the movie is slickly splatterific as advertised. Head wounds, gunshots and some slice and dice by our minuscule misfit are violent poetry. And she's waaaaaay Buffy funny too replying to Kick Ass in one scene.
Dave Lizewski: How do I get a hold of you? Hit Girl:[sarcastically] Just contact the mayor, he has a special signal that shines in the sky! It's in the shape of a giant cock
Top 3 Scenes of Act 2
That scene above
Hit Girl goes Hit Girl (little tween girls saying cunt is soooooo cute)
Introduction of Red Mist (played by McLovin guy from SuperBad...that guy is awesome!)
Act 3: "Kick Ass, Big Daddy and Hit Girl meet Red Mist and Frank D'Amico"
So whose the big bad in this movie? Well we get a NYC kingpin (diet version) named Frank D'Amico. Seems Big Daddy has a vendetta against D'Amico and he's cleaning up D'Amico henchman faster than you can say cunt. Soon Kick Ass is not alone in the superhero business. Red Mist aka Chris D'Amico aka McLovin join Kick Ass in his crusade but not everything is as it seems.
Our heroes face endless peril, one of them goes down and all hell breaks loose. It's an ending that kicks so much ass, my ass still hurts. The movie balances ha ha's and visual comedy but then smashes you with the over the top action you crave in any comic you'd read. The ending is satisfying in that ice cream sundae sorta way. After the movie had ended, I felt the urge to run to my comic book store and pick it up. OK, I think I'm done comic orgasming.
Top 3 Scenes of Act 3
Hit Girl to the rescue!
Hit Girl infiltrates D'Amico HQs
The final battle
Matthew Vaughn (who directed Stardust and financed this movie by himself and a few others) balances Millar's story, picks a few choice panels from JrJr. and amplifies Chloe Moretz's performance to the max. It works on so many levels: comedy, action and comic genius.
This is the best movie of 2010 so far, I can't see anything being better. When you watch Kick Ass it reveals the not so secret of comics these days. There are comics for adults that flip upside down the conventional comic book narrative.
Garth Ennis and Frank Miller you've seen. Hell if people actually understood what Alan Moore and Dave Gibson did in Watchmen, they'd understand how awesome a movie and comic it is and how it too rewrote the standard comic book formula.
Kick-Ass is simply perfection in what a comic book movie is suppose to be. It politely mocks the genre but knows what the audience came to see. Witty humor, POW! BAM! action and a new band of heroes that you won't ever forget. Kick-Ass sits on the throne of comic book movie royalty daring anybody to take away it's crown. Hit Girl says it best.
"OK cunts, let's see what you can do now"
Gore-ipedia
Gunshot trauma Slice and Dice Lots of ass kicking Massive amounts of violence
WTF moment
Hit Girl's one girl army rescue operation
The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis
Kick-Ass comes out on April 16th. I can keep telling you how awesome it is but you'll have to see it for yourself. Seeing a 13 yr old girl kill without mercy, spew fuck and cunt in a few lines and use a hit-arang is so satisfying you may actually see this more than once.
Hey! Look at what we have here. The jaded viewer actually reads a book! Yes, I do read on occasion. I got this book for free for being a VIP after visiting Nightmare: Vampires, a haunted house in NYC.
So yes, it took me about 3 months to read a book. Well it was 400 pages so it was kind a long. But I'm glad I finished it. It's what you call a blockbuster action book. Pure Reading Rainbow, out of this world escapism at its best.
Guillermo Del Toro and Chuck Hogan co-wrote a solid novel, that easily reads from page to page and is filled with haunting visuals, NYC under attack from a deadly plague of vampirism and characters that are very real and very relatable.
The story is classic vamp noir. A plane lands in NYC unknown to the public that the Master, an ancient rogue vampire has set foot in NYC and unleashed the deadliest strain of a disease that has no cure. The vampires described are the non sparkly kind. Very reminiscent of the "Reapers" in Del Toro's Blade 2, they are demon-ish, their organs and innards become all squishy and reconfigured and they have "satin red eyes" and mandible mouths with stingers.
Bent on stopping this new undead army is Dr. Ephraim Goodweather of the CDC, his partner Nora and a mysterious old man named Abraham Setrakian who knows more about the Master and the upcoming plague.
It's a very Blade-like story, but I think the elements of the book that shined for me were the detailed passages about how individual New Yorkers experienced, coped and survived the outbreak. The back story of Setrakian is also compelling as is the family dynamic of Eph. But being a born and bred New Yorker, the descriptions of NYC are dead on. From Queens to Brooklyn to the Bronx, each description of the city were 100% accurate.
The Strain is the first of a trilogy, with The Fall due out this year and The Night External as the last chapter. If your looking to escape those sparkly vamps, priest vamps, tween vamps and vampires that may or may not be gay, then get infected by The Strain.
Mark Millar's Kick-Ass has been getting Twittered and hyped recently (after an early screening) and I too am a little intrigued by this little tweeny comic book movie. I hated the live action Wanted movie with Angelina but loved the graphic novel. I usually will read the graphic novel before I see any adaptation of a comic. Having done so with Watchmen, I plan to read all Y The Last Man before it gets to be a movie.
But this funny ass clip with Nicholas Cage as Big Daddy may actually convince me to do the opposite. Watch the movie then read the graphic novel. It does look different than the other comic adaptations to be released. Funny, goofy, quirky, silly and outright kick ass. Nuff said.
A good movie with Nic Cage? Can it be? Really?
Here be the plot.
Dave Lizewski is an unnoticed high school student and comic book fan with a few friends and who lives alone with his father. His life is not very difficult and his personal trials not that overwhelming. However, one day he makes the simple decision to become a super-hero even though he has no powers or training.
Check out the exclusive clip and poster courtesy of UGO.com.
If you haven't heard of the name Garth Ennis, it's a shame. Ennis is one of the most influential comic book writers today. From Hellblazer to the awesome Preacher comics, his resume is iconic.
But if you're looking for something different, a comic book with a ironic and sarcastic twist, The Boys is where it's at.
On Complex.com's list of the Top 40 Most Violent Comics Ever, Ennis The Boys is #21 while Preacher is #1. So what the hell is this about?
Published now by Dynamite Entertainment,the series is set in a contemporary world very much similar to real one, with one notable exception: a number of people have some form of superpower. The series follows a superpowered CIA squad, known informally as "The Boys", whose job it is to keep watch on superheroes and, if necessary, intimidate or kill them.
Trust me, it's good shit.
It makes fun of all the superhero stereotypes and does it harshly and more fucked up than you can imagine.
I'm going to try to do a Comics You're Not Reading post periodically so you can know what graphic novels Hollywood will probably turn into live action flicks.
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