Dream Home (Review)

Dream Home

Dream Home (2011 - USA)

Directed by Ho-Cheung Pang

I take pride in watching Category III Hong Kong flicks. I loved the Anthony Wong driven The Ebola Syndrome and Dr. Lamb, video nasties that were fucked up beyond recognition. So it's been a while since I've seen a Cat 3 HK flick but having seen Dream Home litter a few best of 2011 lists, I knew I had to seek this beauty out.

And what did it do? It slaughtered a few of the other flicks from my 10 story top 10 list and moved right into the building (see what I did there?) Dream Home is an uber slasher exploitation film that not only will make inner gorehounds FAP but make the intellectual cinephile think and FAP as well. Rarely does a Cat 3 make you think. Usually you think you're gonna watch some vicious kills and see some boobies. But with a stellar performance by Josie Ho and director Ho-Cheung Pang satirizing the desire for the have nots to have at any costs, it's a tour de kill slasher film of 2011.

Dream Home does suffer with issues with realism, the kills are somewhat comic bookey and there is a serious issue with the use of flashbacks that may confuse some viewers. A subplot of affairs and pacing issues also hurts the film a bit as does the super strength of our uber killer. But all that aside, Cat 3 HK flicks have always had a bit of slapstick and oddness about them that makes them mesmerizing to watch.

Dream Home is my dream movie. Fuck yeah.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Cheng Li-sheung is a young, upwardly mobile professional finally ready to invest in her first home. But when the deal falls through, she is forced to keep her dream alive - even if it means keeping her would-be neighbors dead.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Let's break this down movie down by different sections of an apartment building.

The Lobby

Cheing Lai (Josie Ho) works as a telemarketer for a bank around 2007. She's a regular office drone leading a typical life (working 2 other jobs, taking care of her father and brother, being a mistress and whoring it...you know typical shit). However, she has a dream. She wants to live in an apartment looking over the ocean bay of Hong Kong. Despite her lack of funds to buy this apartment she is willing to do anything to make her dream come true.

It's not everyday a movie opens with some suffocation via plastic bag and plastic handcuff restraints. With Dream Home, you get sucked in and the movie starts to establish a pattern of Cheing Lai going to slasher school while we also get flashbacks of her life as a child which establish her motivations for what happens in the present.

The Living Room

Soon we start seeing our girl in action as she slaughters her would be neighbors all in one night. The odd part of this is I usually root for the slasher and was kinda mystified by my lack of cheering as it seems silly to kill your potential neighbors to bring the price down of an apartment. But the slaughter is magnificio! Our first kill scenes revolve around a pregnant woman who is brilliantly suffocated via suction (you gotta see this shit...fuckin crazy...see below)





....and the old reliable ocular trauma makes a cameo. But as the movie went on, Cheing Lai showed she was vulnerable, getting wounded in the midst of her battles and though we shouldn't empathize with a cold blooded killer, I was hoping she'd be OK.

Maybe it's because she's a woman but oh have Cat 3 flicks changed. Cheing Lai rivals Anthony Wong's throne of being the hardcore of hardcore slashers.

The Kitchen

I mentioned previously the movie employs ill timed flashbacks. First with Cheing Lai as a little girl whose family has to deal with being forcibly removed from their apartment by Triads working for greedy developers. Later she sees the plight of her family and the tole of her dad being sick and not being covered by health insurance.

The flashbacks show up without any notice and sometimes I got lost in where I was. Early on years were subtitled in but it's a bit confusing as one can't tell where we are with the story. I'll say the flashbacks do give you a glimpse of our slashereta's motivations of why this apartment by the sea is so important. Sure it's not justification to kill people but for a crazy insano like Cheing Lai, I guess it is.

The Bedroom

Ahh the bedroom, because that's where the good action all takes place. Cheing Lai's best kills when she home invades a group of Chinese hipsters, whores and drug dealer. The movie climaxes in the kill scenes here with a variety of creative kills ranging from intestine spillage, toilet trauma, glass beaker neck stabbings and wood to mouth Fangoria approved slaughter. And some J. Bobbitt. Because's what's a slasher movie without a penis trauma right?

It's a testament to non CGI-ness of it all. Cheing Lai also gets some luck to get out of the mess she's been in as the cops want to bust in and stop the madness. It's this ridiculousness that makes Dream Home a little fantastic. Can a dude still smoke a joint while his intestines are all over the floor? Dream Home says yes.

The Patio

With all this fuckin awesome slaughter, the movie poses a few ideas about why our mistress of slasher-dom does what she does. The movie satirizes what one is willing to do to buy her own home which in turns plays out the notion of how the housing crisis evolved. Sure Cheing Lai goes the fuckin beserk route to get the price down by the real estate agent by murdering a bunch of people in the building but in retrospect the working class, even the poor are willing to do what it takes to own their own home thus taking those shady deals from the Fannie Mays and other home brokerage companies. Should they have known better? Of course. But somebody should have told them it was wrong. These companies didn't.

As the flashbacks indicate, the HK government seemed to conspire with the mob and real estate developers to remove poor people from their homes in order to replace them with luxury high rises. It seems we can then conclude that the movie was implying that the working class wanted what was originally theirs. Cheing Lai is the embodiment of that.

The movie ends in irony and it's pretty obvious that nobody will live happily ever after. But what Dream Home establishes is a why in the midst of the chaos. The slasher genocides these people for her own selfish reasons but in a way the movie wants us to ignore that she's killed innocent people and empathize with her working class background.

Dream Home is intelligently designed to be an effective satire and an uber bloody and gory slasher which is to say, not an easy thing to do. Ho drives the movie, her performance yings to a woman who has lived harshly than yangs to her being a vicious, cold blooded motherfuckin killer.

I have not seen a HK Cat 3 movie that's left an impact this much like Dream Home. I think I've grown as a horror fan in that I'm not easily glamoured by wicked gore or spectacular splatter anymore. I expect my wickedly gory and spectacular splatter slasher flicks to say something about the world I live in.

Dream Home does just that.


Nude-ipedia

Whores show boobies
Simulated sex and BJs
I love Cat 3 nudity!

Gore-ipedia

See my descriptions above
So much awesomeness and creative kills, it should go into the Hall of Fame

WTF moment

The whore gets floor boarded

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Dream Home came out in Hong Kong in 2010 but was released in NA and EU in 2011. It's available on DVD via IFC Midnight. Rarely does one see a Cat 3 film and say that it's thought provoking. Usually I go and say that shit was hilariously fucked up. I can proudly say that it's both!

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, anthony wong, category 3, china, dream home, gore, hong kong, slasher films, slashers, slice and dice, splatter, splatter gore, top splatter movies

Ip Man 2 (Review)

Ip Man 2

Ip Man 2 (2010)

Directed by Wilson Yip

[this review brought to you by guest writer Camiele White who was a former apprentice of Beatrix Kiddo]

After 20 years of consciously watching film (the first five don’t count, for obvious reasons), my favourite films seem to always be Martial Arts related. When my brother came to me with a film he dubbed “the greatest action film of all time”, I had my doubts, particularly because I hadn’t seen a large variety of action films that were both adrenaline pumping and artistic works of brilliance. However, my brother has yet to steer me wrong, so I gave it a chance. It was the moment I welcomed Ip Man into my life.

After having seen the first film, I was thirsty, no RAVENOUS for more! Without becoming overcome with emotion, I’ll simply say Ip Man 2 didn’t fail to deliver. It was one of those films that you see once in your life, once in an existential dilemma about the worth of your own life --yeah, it was that deep for me.

Barring my overdramatic infatuation with the film, it actually opened my eyes to a universal truth --Americans don’t know shit! I consider myself incredibly open-minded. That being said, there’s so much about Asian cinema that I’m missing that it’s almost embarrassing. That point was driven home with a stake the size of Montreal when I had the pleasure of experiencing the Ip Man series for the first time.

Ip Man tells the story of the legendary Yip Man, known commonly as Ip Man, one of the most venerated masters of Chinese Martial Arts and the undisputed master of Wing Chun. Most renowned for becoming the teacher of, arguably, the greatest Chinese martial artist of all time, Bruce Lee, Ip Man was a quiet nobleman who had a keen and organic understanding of the movement of the human body. The first film shows his struggle to effectively carry an entire nation on his shoulders during the second Sino-Japanese War. As with most films based on historical fact, the directors take a few liberties with the facts in order to heighten the dramatic effect; however, those moments are few and far between. What I experienced was nothing short of miraculous.

Ip Man 2 picks up where its predecessor left of: after winning a battle against Miura (portrayed by Ikeuchi Hiroyuki), a ruthless Japanese general and respectable martial artist in his own right, Ip Man is shot by a shady lieutenant with a sizeable chip on his shoulders who spits on the self-respect and tradition of the Chinese folk (let’s just say the man had one hell of a Napoleon Complex). After his shooting, the Chinese people, who are barricaded behind wooden spiked fences, force their way through and help Ip Man and his family escape their home of Foshan.

In the opening scene, we see Ip Man, portrayed by the highly underrated (and the second most incredible Chinese actor I’ve ever seen), Donnie Yen, attempting to find a place to open his Martial Arts school. He finds an abandoned roof annexed to a plant nursery, used solely to hang laundry. As is the case in many traditional Martial Arts films, a cocky young challenger waltzes through the doors to flex his muscle and see what all the fuss is about this Ip Man. Boy, did he learn a thing or twelve. Without blinking an eye, Master Ip devours this man with all the grace and poise of an elegant dancer. Thus setting the pace for the rest of the film.

On top of all the craziness surrounding the territorial nature of Martial Arts, Master Ip’s wife, Cheung Wing-sing (played by the ever-gorgeous Lynn Hung) is pregnant with another child and trying her best to save as much money as possible as her husband waits for students. Then when the British Invasion hits the Chinese shores, all hell breaks loose.

As tends to be the trend, the Brits have an itching for some Imperialism and decide to spread their European power to China. With a snarky (and poorly acted) British event promoter exploiting the beauty of Chinese Martial Arts to make some quick cash, the film alludes early on to an imminent clash between a British boxer and Master Ip. The fight is, of course, set up with an early casualty of nationalism --Master Hung, a renowned teacher of Hung Gar. He’s killed by the British boxing star, Taylor “The Twister” Milos, when Master Hung becomes outraged with his blatant insults of Chinese culture and challenges him in the ring.

Vengeance and national honour is on the line as Master Ip prepares to fight Twister and obliterate the misconception of most of the Western world of the 50s that Chinese culture is a commodity in place to entertain the masses.

As the plot twists and escalates in overt social commentary, two aspects that always remain effortless are the dramatic poise and natural beauty of the surroundings. The film is a testament to the grace inherent in true Martial Arts. It’s a film that’s completely full of pride and dignity. As with the other films that fill the top spots of my all time favourites, Ip Man and Ip Man 2 are true cinematic marvels that have enough action to keep one riveted, but is never crass or over the top, simply dramatic and sophisticated, portraying true life at its most intense.

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Camiele White suffers from too much film information. In order to remedy her psychosis she’s decided to write about it. Right now, she’s trying something a bit different and writes about Theatrical Costumes. If you want to engage in a little conversation (at your own risk) she can be reached at cmlewhite at gmail [dot] com.

Check out the trailer below.

Categories: action cinema, china, hong kong, kung fu, martial arts

Beach Spike Trailer shows us Hong Kong is just as shallow as America

When Hollywood conjures up ways to somehow show beautiful hotties in bikinis, they usually put them in surfing or cheerleading movies. It's pretty much standard now. When they really think the audience won't care, they also like insert these hotties in tight leather and parade them as super secret agents, fledgling singers or dance street competitors. Regardless of the case, you know the movie somehow will involve a boy, a hardship that has to be overcome and some sort of life lesson learned.

But lets be real.

As much as we'd like to think these camouflaged chick flicks are designed to get women to see their life problems addressed, they are aiming for that 18-34 year old male demo as well. Remember that rom-com starring Adam Sandler and Jennifer Aniston? Nope? Do you remember it also starred Brooklyn Decker in a bikini? See now you do.

It's not too hard.

Well rest assured the Hong Kong film industry also likes to parade their young and beautiful hotties and put it into movies where they have to do what's right. In this case, 2 attractive beach volleyball girls defend their beach from ruthless developers. But the twist here is they learn kung fu to aid them to victory. Yeah it echoes Shaolin Soccer alot but there be boobies bouncing around in this.

First check out the plot:

(via BeyondHollywood.com)

Hong Kong’s Paradise Cove is like Venice Beach on the South China Sea, a haven of tanned bikini-clad Asian babes, bronzed bodybuilder types, artists, surfers, musicians, beach bums? Chrissie (Chrissie Chau) and Kim (Theresa Fu) are two of Paradise’s sunniest spirits, working at the restaurant of their kung fu master uncle Tao (Lo Man) and taking on all comers in lively beach volleyball matches. One day, a shadow falls on this apparently endless summer: The wealthy Bu Family plans to turn the beach into a playground for the rich, banishing the young, poor and fun-loving. Mrs. Bu’s two arrogant Eurasian daughters, Porsche (Jessica C) and Phoenix (Phoenix Valen) challenge Chrissie and Kim to a volleyball match, and our heroines suffer a humiliating defeat.

The two Eurasian vixens lay down a challenge: if the two local girls enter and win the upcoming All Hong Kong Women’s Volleyball tournament, Mrs. Bu will revise her plans to further develop the area. Though they accept the challenge, Chrissie and Kim feel they have little chance of winning the tournament, until Tao teaches them superior kung fu skills that can be applied to the volleyball court.

After surviving their training under Tao, the girls get to test their newfound skills both on and off the sand. Comedy, curves and kung fu collide in a fast-paced actioner in the madcap martial arts tradition of? Shaolin Soccer. And Kung Fu Hustle.

Now let's whet your appetite with some stills.

(via Twitchfilm)

We're like your typical Eurasian hot girls. We love stacking chairs!

She's got a good grip on that ball. Go team go!

It's a staredown! The evil bitchy volleyball hottie is like "I'm taller and have a bigger cup size!" If this was America, she'd be a brunette with a tattoo.

Finally, here is the trailer with gratuitous slo-mo bouncing boobies...errr I mean volleyball action. I like how their is a Miyagi figure and a nerd and fat guy for comic relief. I think Chrissie Chau is my new favorite Hong Kong pseudo model of all time.




Clearly a film like this has only one goal in mind when it gets released. But it goes to show you Hollywood and HK know how the male mind works. Sure you don't want to see the beach be turned into a resort, but I'm still hypnotized by the in game action.

And to all the dudes, you know you flipped on ESPN and checked out beach volleyball for that. Well that and the other thing.

Categories: china, cute chinese girls, hong kong, sports movies, volleyball

Movie of the Day: Ebola Syndrome

Category III. Hong Kong. Anthony Wong. Psycho Killer. Ebola Virus.

Ebola Syndrome (Yi boh laai beng duk)

Nuff said.

The Trailer



The Good Shit

Rating:

Tags:
ebola syndrome, anthony wong , hong kong , category 3, psycho killer ,ebola virus, Yi boh laai beng duk

Categories: anthony wong, category 3, ebola syndrome, ebola virus, gore, hong kong, psycho killer, splatter, Yi boh laai beng duk