Wednesday, April 15, 2009

Bad Biology (Review)

Bad Biology

Bad Biology (2008)

Directed by Frank Henenlotter

Tagline: A God Awful Love Story

When I first heard about this flick, I praised it as the return of Frank Henenlotter, the director of who gave such classics as Basket Case, Basket Case 2, Basket Case 3, Brain Damage and Frankenhooker.

Back after a 16 year hiatus, he returns with a blood pumping, pulsating, throbbing (pun so intended) and wacko of a movie called Bad Biology.

This twisted little fucked up film comes from the minds of Henenlotter and R.A. The Rugged Man a legendary rapper.

Bad Biology can be summed up as grindhouse 2.0. A surreal episode of Skinemax with the old Henenlotter jolt of craziness.

Some will claim this is utter garbage. Bad acting, rubber penises and porn stars playing porn stars.

But I really could care less what people say.

Because when you see a 15 inch johnson attack scantily clad women you have to grade this movie on a fucked up curve.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Driven by biological excess, a young man and woman search for sexual fulfillment, unaware of each other's existence. Unfortunately, they eventually meet, and the bonding of these two very unusual human beings ends in an explosive and ultimately over-the-top sexual experience, resulting in a truly god awful love story....

Awesome Review-O-Matic

There is nudity every 15 seconds in this flick. And it comes in the form of Charlie Danielson who plays Jennifer, an erotic photographer who is born with 8 clitorises. She narrates the film and tells of her mutant vagina and its affects on her very nympho lifestyle.

Like a meth addict, she constantly craves sex and picks up guys at bars. The dudes think they've scored but getting screwed and having your head bashed in at the same time are the consequences when you hook up with Jennifer.

Jennifer is hot, in that hip hop music video vixen sorta way (she's one in real life). We get plenty of simu-sex and it's Skinemax-ish to the extreme.

The problem with Jen's mutantism is her reproductive system is a Benjamin Button fast forward. She can get pregnant, go into labor and plop a baby in an hour. A mutant baby that is.

Henenlotter loves the mutant babies and they are fucked up as advertised. After every sexual encounter, she plops one out and leaves it screaming and crying.

BB has some qualities of Teeth in that the guys are macho fodder for our crazed Jennifer. She leaves bodies behind and she still can't get satisfied.

Let's go thru the list....

1.) Bad boy gets head bashed in
2.) White trash kid gets lucky
3.) Suave dude gets massacred by a lamp

But that all changes when she meets Batz. Batz is not a normal boy. When he tells a lie, his Pinnochio nose can't get off. So what's a dude to do?

Inject it with roids and HGH. That makes perfect sense.

So now he has a mutant, self aware cock thats craving some pussy all the time. Holy shit. He's got a super duper steampunk Swedish penis pump machine just to get off. After meeting his dealer to sedate this big ass snake monster, he volunteers his house for Jennifer's photo shoot.

Three nutty gonzo scenes are illustrated in total insanity.

1.) A hip hop photo shoot with naked models who have vagina masks
2.) We see Batz's wild mutant schlong going all wild
3.) Batz gives a hooker an eternal orgasm

Soon, these 2 lovebirds meet up not before we get the most fucked up scene in the entire film.

4.) Batz's mutant dick detaches, goes all claymation, starts breaking floorboards and starts to attacks 5 really hot chicks in an apartment complex.

It's the most bizarre, oddly arousing totally fucked up piece of cinema I've ever seen. I can honestly say I've never seen a rogue, mutant, 'roided up, veiny penis attack and pleasure hot, big breasted porn stars in awesome claymation and rubbery animatronics.

Now that's a first.

To say Bad Biology is bad is critically asinine. Henenlotter wants you to laugh and squirm and feel aroused all at the same time. It reminded me of Killer Condom in its squirty cheesiness and has a very Brain Damagy feel as well.

The one thing you come away (yeah the jokes just write themselves) with is that you didn't watch this for a well conceived plot or any gore or splatter kill scenes.

For once admit that you wanted to see hot naked women get boinked in every position plus see some mutant penises and babies.

What more do you want?


Head bashing
Lamp bashing
Penis mouth to mouth


Gratuitous nudity at its most gratuitous
Big boobies
Small boobies
Shower boobies
Asian boobies
Black boobies
Porn on TV boobies
Penthouse Pet boobies
Playboy boobies
Porn Star boobies
Gratuitous full frontal

WTF moment

The penis monster goes on the prowl

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Well with this much nudity and sex you were bound to get some porn stars, Penthouse Pets and Playboy beauts in some cameos. Tina Krause, Krista Ayne, Rachel Robbins and hot porn star Jelena Jensen are all penis monster victims.

Don't kid yourself. You know exactly why you would Netflix, torrent or actually buy this film.

This is sleaze at its finest. No holds barred grindhouse erotica. So sexually charged amptitude, you want to visit this Henenlotter universe because its a throwback to all that is B movie glory cinema. The sleaze-meister is back. Can Brain Damage 2 be too far behind?


Bookmark and Share

The Trailer

, , , , , , , , , ,


  1. Couldn't have said that better. Great post!

  2. I agree, well said. this is a great collection of information for people.

  3. does jelena jensen die