Showing posts with label gangsta movies. Show all posts
Showing posts with label gangsta movies. Show all posts

Monday, January 02, 2012

Attack the Block (Review)

Attack the Block

Attack the Block (2011)

Directed by Joe Cornish

The first thing I noticed about Attack the Block is the dialogue. British ghetto younglings have a speech all their own and it's really mesmerizing to hear. Lots of "Get me?" and "love" and "Believe!". At times, I had no idea what the fuck they were saying. But that's the fascination right?

I know all the supposed "bad" neighborhoods in NYC. But I've been getting the feeling I should never set foot in Brixton in south London if I ever visit. Get these kids in a movie theater and shit gets loud (oh no he didn't go there!) Lots of ghetto kids go see a horror flick and will yell shit at the screen saying if faced in the same situation with the killah they'd "fuck that suckah up!" (they're words I cleaned up a bit) The beauty of Attack the Block is now we get to see these same tough thugs battle hairy, glowy teeth but blind alien monsters and see if they're all just talk.

Attack the Block is a mix of a thugged up Goonies meets Gremlins and it's all freakin awesome. Blending a mix of comedy, monster mayhem, action-palooza and some class warfare "MESSAGE!!" it's a slice of fun fun fun. The unlikely criminal tykes we bloody fuckin hate somehow grow up, learn a lesson and gain respect the hard way. Throw in some neato sci-fi monsters, a few splatter and gore and quick witted pop culture references rapid firing at a mile a minute and it's all the fun you'll have in 90 minutes.

Quick rehashed plot revolves around a thug of youths led by Moses who mug Sam a girl who lives in the projects (is that what they call em in London?). Soon our ragtag group of misfits (3 blacks, 1 white boy, Sam, pot smoker Brewis) are running and dodging these reject monsters from Star Wars. Aided by Nick Frost and also on the run from a kingpin drug dealer, the block is all in chaos in this one night.

The action scenes are well executed. The kids have bikes, scooters to aid in their escapes and they've got the weapons and use em. Samurai swords, knives and fireworks (the dangerous kind) all come into play and shit gets real fast for them. But these same kids, supposedly tough as nails get scared too. It's this balance in characters that makes them feel human and empathetic. The fact they know the choices they make have consequences is a theme throughout. Lots of good suspense and wicked kills are littered throughout ATB and director Joe Cornish paces it nicely.

He also puts in great scenes of funny jampacked with British references. They call the monsters gollums (LOTR) and Dobbies (HP) and it breaks the tension to have them be all kids in such an adult situation. Any reference to video games will give me a chuckle.

Sure it's a bit silly at times and the monsters aren't very memorable as they should be, but it's forgivable. Clearly we get racial overtones and "the feds" are willing to go all Rodney King on any black youth we see. I mean after seeing the shit that went down during the London riots (that video of the foreign exchange kid getting jumped comes to mind) you really want to hate these brothas from south London in real life and in this movie. But it's all about the choices they make and here they make the right ones.

Attack the Block is a sci-fi kid adventure and twisting the protagonists around makes it worthwhile. You'll rarely see a film that takes the outrageous cheesiness of furry alien monsters and blend it in with thug life. It's a one of a kind movie, one with charm and scares.

Believe.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.



Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Phil Messerer's Underbelly Blues needs YOUR support

You've all probably noticed that within the indie filmmaking community, the fund creativity site KickStarter has been gaining big exposure. It's a great idea: help fund artists and filmmakers with their ideas and movies and get credit. Depending on the pledge amount, you can get some interesting exposure for yourself such as pledging a grand gets you a date with one of the stars (pending a psych evaluation)

Philip Messerer has done just that. His breakthrough film: Thicker than Water (review here) was a revelation of vampire ingenuity warranting 3 spinkicks from yours truly. So Mr. Messerer dropped me a line that his new film is a bit if a turn...he's going pulp!

More than that he's flipped the casting upside down. Via the KickStarter site:

Rather than casting actors for parts, the director gathered 26 underground comic virtuosos and asked them to create their own characters (one for each letter of the alphabet). For the next two months the actors / comedians lent their characters to weekly improv sessions which were then turned into a feature length screenplay.

So what's this film all about?

The plot of Underbelly Blues follows a mysterious briefcase as it exchanges hands amongst the colorful denizens of the underworld. These include a corrupt cop, a sleazy strip club owner, a pair of lesbian strippers, an ex-military gun-for-hire who suffers from O.C.D. and has a penchant for creative torture, a Jewish pawnshop owner and his dominatrix mother, a British sophisticate who cooks crystal meth, a pair of surfer pot dealers, a legally blind albino gangster, a 7 foot tall, 400 lb neo-nazi, a sexual deviant redneck, a wild-eyed Mexican named Take It Easy, and a brilliant 'brain' called The Architect.

A
ll of these characters are connected through a series of bizarre coincidences which inevitably lead to the downfall of corporate America as the rivalry between two soft drink companies goes out of control.

Well I gotta admit, this sounds damn fun right? Well let's all get it off the ground.

Here are some ways to support this project.
The best way to see what this is all about is via the video below. These improv rehearsals help to get what it's all about. If you want to see originality, it'll come from jaded viewers like yourself. Check out the video below and get the word out.


Friday, July 02, 2010

When Rappers Make Movies, Movies become AWESOME

You'd think having a rapper in your movie would turn out to be a big FAIL. Somtimes that's not the case. That's because your not watching the right rappers in the right movies, you know what I'm saying? Insano Steve already detailed how awesome Stickey Fingaz hip hop musical A Day in the Life was. Even I was blown away by the cleverlogue of seeing Stickey, Omar and WeeBey from the Wire, Michael Rappaport, Caine from Menace II Society and Treach (from Naughty by Nature).

So thank the hip hop gods, Stickey Fingaz made another musical. This one is called Caught on Tape and it looks fuckin awesome. And whose in this one you asking? OMG, look at this lineup motherfucka. Vivica Fox and Cedric the Entertainer are the notables in this one with Sticky.

Bust a cap and watch the trailer below.




Straght out of Shaolin (aka Staten Island) comes The RZA's Wu Tang vs. The Golden Phoenix trailer (news via FilmDrunk). The RZA, musical genius and founding member of the infamous Wu Tang Clan goes all homagy to all the old Chinese king fu flicks of old.

This fucker has got serious street cred my brothas. Jackie Chan's stunt team, Fight choreographer Robert Tai of 5 Deadly Venoms,members of the USA Shaolin Team, and starring Shaw Bros. Legend Chi Kuan Chun and Dr. King Ogun Ali Muhammad, founder of the Universal African Fighting System.

And it wouldn't be Wu Tang without 5th generation Shaolin disciple The RZA.
It's got serious kung fu-ery and all sorts of insane action.

HaaaaaaaaYaaaaaaaaaa. Check out the trailer.






Have I changed your perception of the rapper turned filmmaker stereotype? Hahaha. Maybe not but what do you think of these flicks?

Wednesday, March 24, 2010

A Day in the Life (Review)

A Day in the Life

A Day in the Life (2007)

Directed by Sticky Fingaz

[This review brought to you by Insano Steve, who while watching this movie gunned down 3 innocent bystanders]


One day while mindlessly browsing the YouTubes, I stumbled upon the trailer for "A Day in the Life". Little did I know, I had just discovered the best black movie in at least the last 10 years.

As a self-proclaimed expert in the modern blaxploitation genre, I had largely given up on the modern black film. Apparently, I just wasn't looking hard enough. While mainstream audiences have had enough of gangstas shooting each other dead in the streets for the sake of a soundtrack, the direct to video/download markets are still alive and well.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A Day in the Life is a Hip Hop, action-drama, musical film. The film begins as the sun rises, it's just another day in the life of Sticky's character and concludes before sunset of the same day.

The story takes the audience on a wild journey through one day as witnesses to an intense street war between two rival crime families.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Onyx:
The producer and main star of 'A Day In The Life' is Sticky Fingaz from the famous rap group, Onyx. Onyx was a rap group from the rape and murder filled streets of Queens, NY. They first reached fame in the early 1990s with the hit single "Slam".

At the peak of their of popularity, there were over 850 members of Onyx in the wild. Although, only 2 or 3 of them actually rapped. The only requirements for membership were to be:
  1. black
  2. bald
  3. angry
Later on, the hair and racial requirements would be lifted.

Unfortunately, by the year 2000, deforestation and erosion would slowly dwindle the Onyx population until only the 2 main members remained, Sticky Fingaz and Fredro Starr. With no space in the music marketplace left for angry blacks, the Onyx had no choice but to adapt and embrace the film media. In "A Day in the Life", they were the first to make a film where the dialogue is entirely in rap! Yup, the whole 90 minutes are rapped!

Plot: Sticky Fingaz (played by Sticky Fingaz), is a gangsta that’s been robbed by the guy who played Big Worm in ‘Friday’. So, Sticky and his boy, Fredro, vow revenge and many many many bruthas end up dead in the process.

In fact, more bruthas die just in this movie’s trailer than in even some my favorite blaxploitations! And these murders are fucking brutal. Lots of bloody white Tshirts yo!

Rap:
Oh shit. When I heard all the dialogue was rap, I just couldn’t see how it could be done. But damn, Sticky really did it here. To make all the dialogue work in terms of the plot (no matter how negligible) and still sound good as a rhyme, this really is genius.

One of my personal highlights were: Sticky and Fredro rapping over a cellphone, and the bad phone signal serving the role of a record scratching. Also, everybody in the movie raps. Not just gangstas. The cops rap, old people rap, white people rap, they all rap. And with the miracle of Auto-Tune, it all sounds good!

Rappers/Name Dropping:
Damn near everybody you can think of is in this shit. Best rap performance by an actor goes to:
  • Omar Epps (who wrote his own rhymes)
  • Michael Rappaport as he often does, plays the good cop (aka, the only white guy in the movie).
  • Back from the dead, ‘Caine’ from Menace II Society plays Rappaport’s corrupt partner/the bad cop.
  • Mekhi Phifer and Bookeem Woodbine provide some acting credibility to the movie.
  • Omar and Wee-Bey from ‘The Wire’ are in this, playing pretty much their same characters.
  • Treach, of OPP fame, plays Sticky’s personal arms dealer.
  • Even Ray J, who’s not actually famous, has a tragic/funny cameo.
Who knew Sticky friends with so many people? Cause there’s no way he paid them.

T&A: Good amount of booty shaking. At least one scene of simulated sex and bare breasts. All females in the film are either bitches or hos. Now, that’s blaxploitation!

Gore: Lots and lots of gunshot fatalities (the best of which is done execution style). Also, a guy gets stabbed in the neck with scissors. Oh yeah, and one case of vehicular infanticide!

WTF Moment: Fredro is shot in the chest at close range multiple times, which sends him to intensive care. Later that day (yes, same day, remember the name of the film), Fredro checks himself out of the hospital, having recovered enough to his satisfaction.

Perhaps, the bullets bounced off some bullets that had already been lodged in his chest from a previous attack?

Anyhow, upon his release, having not shot anybody in several hours, Fredro, unprovoked, unloads his gun on one of his friends who has come pick him up at the hospital. Why!?!? I don’t think anybody will ever know, but I definitely appreciated this senseless violent act.

Insano Steve's Final Prognosis: See this fucking movie. At least, for novelty sake. I mean this film has singlehandedly reaffirmed my faith in modern black cinema.

I had once been lost and confused. Searching for something to fill the emptiness in my soul that was once filled with rap and gang violence.

But now, I can say, once again, I am whole. Yes, I have found my savior. And my savior’s name is Sticky Fingaz, ……

Alternate Rating: 4 YEARS, NO PAROLE!

Rating:

Check out the long ass trailer.





Check out the shorty trailer homey.



Thursday, March 11, 2010

A Day in the Life Yo, They be rappin their lines as they go

Thank the gods for Insano Steve's endless search for the modern day blaxsploitation movie. Like an innocent bystander getting shot, Insano Steve found this awesome flick from the depths of DVD obscurity. What is it?

It's a hip hop/rappin musical brought to you by Sticky Fingaz (from the group Onyx). I'm not kidding. Think Waist Deep meets Menace to Society meets Annie.

Insano Steve is gonna review this bad boy for ya so in the meantime check out the trailer below. It's bloody, its graphic, it stars multiple people you know (from rappers to black actors). It's got baby mammas, gangstas, cops and hitmen.

It's fuckin awesome. You feel me?

Check out the long ass trailer.





Check out the shorty trailer homey.



Monday, August 31, 2009

The 10 Best Black Films Of The 1990s

[a jaded viewer disclaimer: this list is all in good fun, why so serious?]

[this list brought to you by the warped mind of Insano Steve, who would like you to know it took 2 motherfuckin hours to compile this list for your fuckin reading pleasure. So the least you cats could do is leave a comment, you know what I'm sayin?]


When people think of blaxploitation, they usually think of the 1970s. However, there was a decade that was every bit as good a decade for black cinema. Let's go back to a simpler time.

A time when being black still scared some white people. An innocent time when crime and violence were still glorified. A time when movies were made as an afterthought to the soundtrack. Oh yes, a time when going to see a black movie meant possibly risking being shot to death. Hells yeah, I'm talking about the nineteen mother-fucking nineties!

And here are the 10 Best Black Films Of The 1990s (in descending order, yknow what im sayin):

10.) Juice (1992)

A lot of white people made fun of Juice's tagline: "Juice. How far will you go to get it?".

Back in '92, there were still phrases black people used that were foreign to the white man. Not so much these days. There's pretty much no distinction between black culture and mainstream culture now. Oh well.

Juice starred Tupac and Omar Epps (in his first role) as teenage thugs in Harlem. Tupac totally rocks the Gumby haircut in this movie. This is one of many movies where Tupac plays a psycho thug and dies in the end. Hmmm.

Epps plays a thug that wants to reform (as he does in every other movie). It's crazy to believe Epps is playing a doctor on TV these days.

Way to go Dr. Epps! Soundtrack badly outsold the movie.







9.) Class Act (1992)

People usually associate Kid 'N Play with the House Party movies but this was actually their best film.

Kid plays super-nerd Duncan Pinderhughes and Play is super-thug Blade Brown. They both have to switch identities with each other for some silly reason and comedy ensues. Kid cut off his iconic super high top fade in this movie. That may or may not have ended the career of Kid 'N Play, since Kid's hair was at least 60% of their appeal.

The last that we've seen of Kid 'N Play was in a recent State Farm commercial where LeBron James makes fun of them. LeBitch likes to make fun of easy targets like Kid 'N Play, Soulja Boy, and Bobby Brown.

Tough guy, that LeBronze James. Hey, was it Soulja Boy that got Youtubed by some guy off the street? Was it Kid 'N Play that got smoked by the Orlando Magic? Nope, that was "King" James. Hey LeFraud, how does Hedo Turkoglu's ass taste?






8.) The Walking Dead (1995)

Yeah, nobody but me saw this shit. This aint even on DVD. Imagine that, in this day and age.

Only movie on the list not taking place in da ghetto. I guess maybe people were getting tired of that, so they made this movie about black GIs in the Vietnam War. In the hands of a good director/writer, this could've been a great movie. As it was, it still is a great black movie.

The only even semi-famous person in this was Eddie Griffin, who was freaking hilarious. Apparently, bruthas in the Vietnam War spoke exactly like bruthas in the 1990s, or so it was in this movie. Every other word in the dialogue is 'mother fucker'.

Lots of Charlie are slaughtered. Lots of bruthas are slaughtered. Lots of low budget explosions. Lots of graphic deaths. Lots of "yo, this aint my war".

The message: If you never been to Vietnam, don't never come to Vietnam. Cause you wouldn't understand Vietnam, so stay the fuck out of Vietnam!




7.) Gridlock'd (1997)

This is only sort of a black movie. I mean about half of the cast is black. But in our culture, we round up in such cases (i.e., Obama) .

Tupac and Tim Roth play musicians trying to kick their heroin addiction in fucked up Detroit. But they find that difficult to do because social/health services in America are a fucking mess. This was a real unique movie because, it's a black comedy and it's also a black comedy (if you know what I mean).

Tupac proves in this movie that he can actually act. The end scene, where Tim Roth has to intentionally stab Tupac so that he can be admitted to a hospital and get off the streets, is one of my favorite scenes ever.

The director, Vondie Curtis Hall, went on to make Waist Deep (aka, the best black movie of the 21st century).








6.) Boyz 'N The Hood (1991)

This is the movie that started all the South Central gangsta drive-by cap-in-yo-ass movies. Just about the coolest shit ever (at the time), it has lost some appeal over the years.

Mainly because, it's hard to even think of Cuba Gooding as a black man these days. Ice Cube has sold out pretty hard as well. And Morris Chestnut seemed kinda silly even at the time. But hey, if this is on TV, I'm still gonna watch.

Personal favorite scene is when the paralyzed gangsta helps out with their gangsta shit. It's a shame what's happened these days to black movies (Thanks for exactly nothing Tyler Perry). And to hip hop (Fuck you Puffy. I hate. You are worst than 1,000 white rappers combined).

Or even black fashion (Have you noticed? Black people dress like white hipsters now. How did this happen? I blame Kanye West).

Obama needs to do something quickly. The black youth of America needs heroes!






5.) Fear Of A Black Hat (1994)

I was a little hesitant to put this one on the list because basically it's a satire of almost every other movie on this list. But this was just too damn good to be left off. Copying the fake documentary style of 'Spinal Tap', but instead follows the life of the rap group 'NWH' (aka Niggaz With Hatz).

This parodies everything you could think of from 90s black culture, and hits on almost every one. Basically, a much better version of the Wayan's satire 'Dont Drink Your Juice....". NWH features lead MC, Ice Cold, who's a combination of Chuck D and Luther Campbell (if that makes any sense).

Then there's hype-man, Tasty Taste, who's half Flavor Flav, half Treach (um, yeah). The actor who plays Tasty Taste also played the gay black nerd from 'Revenge of the Nerds', so that's awesome.

And finally, there's the DJ, Tone Def, who is like PM Dawn on a turntable. One of the best satires ever, though sadly not many people know of it. Please, see this shit.




4.) Belly (1998)

Actually this was more like a 90 minute music video. This was director, Hype Williams, only movie (he just makes music videos).

In a DVD commentary, Williams' only regret was not making the sex scenes more graphic! The 'actors' in this movie were Nas and DMX, who were 2 of the biggest rappers at the time. They play gangstas that, of course, are trying to reform. Nas decides he wants go back to Africa (?!?!?) and DMX turns to Islam (which would seem to go against non-violence).

It's kinda hard to watch DMX act, since just like when he's rapping, everything he says sounds like a dog barking. Everything comes across as angry. But it's as entertaining as hell.

Meanwhile, all of the thoughtful 'message' scenes goes to Nas. The most memorable scene is when Nas gets out of his Bentley (dressed in gold chains and big mink fur coat) and tells a young gangsta "Yo kid, crime don't pay yo. You need to go to college and shit", and then gets back in the Bentley. Yeah, this is deep.

Watch this movie, and afterward, you'll be thinking about life and shit. Yo.




3.) Friday (1995)

My favorite black comedy of all time. Definitely the movie that I've seen most times on this list. If you're reading this, you've likely seen it at least 5 times.

Craig, Smokey, Mr. Jones, Debo, Big Worm, miscellaneous hos/bitches and crackheads. Everything in this was perfect. Honestly, if you didn't like Friday, you suck.

It's too bad that Chris Tucker never made another good movie. Though, I also liked the second Friday, and to a lesser extent, the third Friday.

If they could've combined Smokey with Day-Day in the same movie, that would've been sick. I almost feel bad not having this higher on the list, but alas, nobody really died in this, and that's what's really important about the black movie experience.






2.) Menace II Society (1993)

God damn, what can I say. When I think of glorified poverty and crime and violence, this is the first thing I think of. So much gangsta shit, it's hard to even summarize.

My favorite (and probably everybody else's favorite scenes) were: 1) O-Dog killed the Koreans in the beginning, 2) O-Dog killing the crackhead (so funny), 3) the over the top racist cops, 4) A-Wax killing that fool at the hot dog parking lot ("Hey homey, you need help?"), and most infamously of all 5) Caine jacking that guy at the McDonalds drive-thru. Good times all around.

This was the movie where people were killed at the movie's premiere, so you know it's gotta be good. It's a shame that Caine really fell off the map after this movie. O-Dog would be in a lot of movies, but not as any character even close to O-Dog.

Even the directors, the Hughes Brothers, didn't make anything like ever again. I think all parties concerned knew this was the ultimate black gangsta movie. Nobody will ever touch this shit, so why even bother?








1.) Above The Rim (1994)

Good black movies should have many things: crime, glorified violence, poverty, sex, Tupac, excessive swearing, drug use, comedy (intentional and otherwise), and a great soundtrack. Well, Above The Rim's got all those things .... and it's got basketball! That, put's it over the top.

From the opening scene where a brutha literally dies trying to dunk, to the end when Kyle ends up in Georgetown (Iverson anyone?), there's isn't a bad scene in the whole film. Plus, that soundtrack is awesome.

Tupac plays the over the top drug dealer 'Birdie' who agressively recruits basektball prodigy, Kyle, to be on his intramural team (the aptly named 'Birdmen'). Marlon Wayans plays 'Boogaloo', Kyle's friend and comic relief. Leon plays Birdie's brother (not brutha), who helps Kyle resist the temptation of the gangsta life. Bernie Mac plays a bum, that Birdie ends up killing, just because. Tupac steals the show here, and eats up every scene he's in.

Also showing out is Birdie's henchman (and power forward), Motaw, who commits about 20 flagrant fouls in the final game (none of which are called). The basketball scenes are pretty decent here (not as good as 'He Got Game', but a way better film overall).

My personal favorite scene was in the end, after Kyle beats Birdie's team, and Motaw pulls out a gun and attempts to shoot just about everybody in Harlem, but is gunned down by undercover cops (wow, cops can be good guys!).

Another memorable scene is when Boogaloo shoots Birdie dead in the end. That's damn surreal when you watch it now. Though technically, this is not as good as 'Menace', you really can't watch 'Menace' too many times, as it can be a little depressing. That's not the case here.

You can't turn away when this is on. That's why this is the best black movie of the 1990s.

If you enjoyed this mega awesome list, Insano Steve has also written Tyrese Gibson: Does he really shoot a gun in every movie he's in? and a My Bloody Valentine 3D Review. Check those out as well.

Comments? Disagree? Agree? Love mail? Hate mail? Blurbs? Mumbo Jumbo? Let us know what you think!


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Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Girls Gone Gangsta (Trailer)

Thanks to a fellow jaded viewer Richard who gave me a heads up on this little exploited beaut of a flick. Guns, blood and girls. I mean that's gotta equal yummy goodness right?

And it has John Goodman!

Check out the plot

It's a cruel world. So it is in Neon City, where 3 young women (Scorpio's Girls) must fight for the only thing their murdered father Scorpio left them, their body shop.

Von Drago, the evil mastermind of Neon City, and leader of the H.O.E.s (Heads of Evil) has a grand plan for one stop criminal shopping, the Von Drago casino!
There's only one problem. He must first get the body shop from the girls, and they're not selling!

Watch as Scorpios Girls battle a motley collection of Clones, witches,Gang Bangers, and canibalistic clowns in this tale of revenge and redemption.The girls hapless metromosexual boyfriends only make matters hillariously worse!

Check out the trailer or view the extended trailer here.





Here also be the official site.

Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Tyrese Gibson: A Jaded Viewer True Hollywood Story

I asked Insano Steve for a review of The Take. After a few weeks of prodding, he said he couldn't write a review that was potently funny or ridiculously entertaining. (I find this hard to believe as The Take seems ripe with some MST3K quips ready to be made). Instead he decided a Tyrese retrospective would be a better fit.

So here is Insano Steve's retrospective.

Tyrese Gibson: A Jaded Viewer True Hollywood Story

By Insano Steve

If somebody asked me "Who is your favorite actor?", I don't think I would have an answer.
But if somebody asked "Who is your favorite BLACK actor?", my answer would be easy, Tyrese.

Tyrese is famous for his Coke commercial where he starts spontaneously singing in the back of a bus. He's also a model and has a semi-successful R&B singing career.

But what I'm sure he is most proud of, is his acting career. Tyrese can be found starring and co-starring in such fine films as Baby Boy, 2 Fast 2 Furious, Four Brothers, Annapolis, Waist Deep, Transformers, and his latest film, The Take. Before I review The Take, let's answer some important questions about Tyrese and his films first:

1) Q: Is Tyrese a good actor?

A: Oh God no. He pretty much plays the same character in all his films.

2) Q: Is Tyrese a good black actor?

A: Hells yeah. I guess here's the distinction. Sure, I don't think Tyrese is an Oscar winning actor like Denzel Washington or Morgan Freeman or DMX, but Tyrese's movies are always great fun. When you see Tyrese on the screen, you know somebody is about to get shot. And that's how you should feel in any good black movie.

3) Q: Wait a minute, Tyrese is a model and sings really gay love songs, how come he plays thugs in all his movies?

A: That's kind of the beauty of it. Knowing his background, you pretty much know that his roles are not authentic and/or "keeping it real". Therefore when he shoots some poor bastard, it's just that much more funny. It's like watching Wayne Brady as a criminal in 'Crossover'.

4) Q: I heard Tyrese shoots a gun in every movie he's in, that can't be true right?

A: Yeah, that's pretty much right. That's his claim of distinction. These days, a good black movie is really hard to come by. Instead we have Tyler Perry bullshit or another Ice Cube family comedy.

Seriously, what the fuck?

Things were so much better when movies were just about crime and poverty. And the soundtrack badly outsold the movie. Well, there's still hope, because Tyrese is still out there shooting people.

5) Q: C'mon, no way, every movie?

A: Well, let's look at this on an itemized film by film basis via imdb.com:

Luke Cage (2009)

This movie hasn't been made but I'll just guess yes. Hopefully this movie won't make Tyrese a star and cause him to sellout to roles in non-black movies.

Those fucking robots ain't gonna shoot themselves

Legion (2009)

Post-apocalyptic movie. Bet on Tyrese finding the last remaining hand gun.

Death Race (2008)

He plays the role of 'Machine Gun Joe'. What do you think?

The Take (2007)

Several times, at close range, in John Leguizamo's head.

Transformers (2007)

Easily the biggest movie Tyrese has been in. You probably wouldn't notice he's in it though with all that transforming going on. He plays the black guy that keep's shooting people and robots.

Waist Deep (2006)

His 2nd greatest role. His character, O2, defies police, gangs, the Game, and logic to rob banks and flee to Mexico with hotness that is Meagan Good. Oh yeah, he's forced to rob banks cause the Game kidnapped his kid. He'd never rob banks otherwise. The legendary O-Dog from 'Menace to Society' in this. Oh yeah, he shoots people in this, many of whom die.

Annapolis (2006)

I never actually saw this. The trailer about a bunch a dudes in the Navy training camp just seemed a little gay. Harry Osbourne from the Spiderman movies stars in this. Tyrese plays his commanding officer, and pretty much hazes the shit out of him. Very likely, a gun is fired along the way.

Four Brothers (2005)

Here he plays one of the two black brothers. This movie is on TNT a lot but I always miss the ending. It's kinda stupid with Marky Mark and Andree 3000 and some other white guy playing his brothers. Alas, he does shoot people.

Also never seen. Only black actor in the movie, so it sounds promising.

2 Black 2 Furious! Lots of shooting and fancy driving in this. One of his less 'black' roles though.

Baby Boy (2001)

His greatest work. He plays Jody and he pretty much is a good for nothing thug with 2 baby mamas, no job, no car, and his mom's wants him out of the house. Marsellus Wallace teaches him some sense by throwing him through a glass coffee table. Cuba Gooding's brother in this movie and is awesome as the hopeless thug, Sweetpea. Snoop Dogg in this too, wearing the baggiest wife-beater ever put on film.

Without a doubt, the best black movie in the last 10 years. Tupac was supposed to star in this originally. Tyrese kills it in this movie (figuratively and otherwise). Movie caused me to Google chickenhead and hoodrat. Who knew there was such a subtle difference between them?

"Moesha" (2000) ... Troy

Seriously doubt he shot anybody on an episode of Moesha

Love Song (2000) (TV) ... Mad Rage/Skip

Huh, what is this?

"All That" (2000) .... Musical Guest

Hmmm, I wonder if he shot anybody as a Musical Guest

"The Parent 'Hood" (1998) .... Thug

His character is named Thug !?!?

"Martin" (1997) .... Dante

Shit, peoples was always getting shot on Martin

"Hangin' with Mr. Cooper" (1996) .... Darrell

Didn't see this episode, and Tyrese was only 15 at the time, but I'll assume 'Darrell' busts some shots off in Coop's class

6) Q: Dude, those movies all suck balls, why you like this guy?

A: Fuck you then. Make your own fucking list and I can trash that list.

7) Q: Yo, weren't you supposed to review 'The Take'?

A: Oh shit, yeah, that's right, ......





See Tyrese at his best in Waist Deep and Baby Boy.

Waist Deep Trailer


Baby Boy Trailer



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