Raging Phoenix (Review)

Raging Phoenix

Raging Phoenix aka Deu suay doo(2009)

Directed by Rashane Limtrakul

Move over Tony Jaa. There's a new kick ass fighter that makes you look like Daniel-son. And it's not a dude.

JeeJa Yanin sophmore effort after her mega awesome Chocolate lives up to the hype and more. Simply more WTF plot, more zany bad guys and more henchmen to dispose of.

This movie has it all.

Aside from the goofy plot revolving bottled tears (seriously, I'm not kidding) and some overly melodramatic cut scenes the movie has to be graded on the fight scenes alone. Plots in muay thai action are like dialogue in porn, it's totally irrelevant. I mean that's how I graded Chocolate and its really what you want to know right?

Let me just say this. Every time I see Thai action, I usually think I've seen it all and then somehow to my surprise I see something totally jaw dropping. Limtrakul and this crew create elaborate settings to hold massive, super awesomely choreographed fight scenes that are like dancing to violence. It's violent ballet and its fuckin beautiful.

Raging Phoenix is violent poetry and Yanin is an action ballerina. You will see stunts, gymnasticy flips and severe elbows and knees to the head. And it's a work of art. This is hardcore, uncensored action porn my good jaded viewers.

And its got a beat!

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Depressed socialite Deu (Jija Yanin) picks fights and plays the drums in a rock band. One drunken night, a mysterious woman and tranvestite ambush Deu in a garage, but she gets rescued by Sanim (Kazu Patrick Tang) and his crew of Muay Thai-savvy B-Boys. From Sanim, Deu learns about a kidnapping ring that targets special girls like herself and Sanim's bride, who disappeared on their wedding day. Determined to get revenge, Deu trains hard in martial arts under Sanim to prepare for the ultimate fight.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

This is actually the first movie where we hear JeeJa Yanin speak as she played a mute Jaa disciple in Chocolate. Thai-logue is very squeaky to say the least but Yanin in her acting performance plays the damsel then the slayer in a nice rounded performance. Her crew, consisting of Sanim, "The Leader", "The Joker", "The Drunk" and "The Loner" are a crew bent on dismantling the evil women kidnapping ring who like I said before kidnap women who have a certain odor. Once they kidnap these smelly women, they extract their tears (I'm not kidding!!!).

OK now that we got that out of the way, let's get to the fight scene ratings. I've given these fight scenes unique names describing why the fight scene is taking place and my rating (out of a scale of 1-4 spinkicks....obviously!). Don't like it? I'll elbow you in the head.

"Save the damsel"

The opening fight scene is quite awesome. Deu who is a noob is saved by Sanim as he fights off the lowe tier henchmen. Dudes on 2 legged pogo sticks with razors attached to em attack Deu as he fights em off. Lots of kicks to the head and pure athleticism.

Rating: 2 1/2 spins (because JeeJa Yanin didn't take part yet)

"You got Served"

Not 10 minutes later do we have another round of henchmen attack our drunk breakdancing crew in their hideout. Solid shit here. Break dancing, hip hop muy thai action-o-graphy. Totally freakin insane. I have never seen dudes breakdance while kicking and punching minium wage henchmen. They even pulled off tag team shit flipping JeeJa into kicks and punches. Some solid comic relief as well.

Rating: 3 spins

Gratuitous training montage!!!

After being rescued, Deu learns the way of the drunken Muy Thai martial arts. It's an ode to Jackie Chan's Drunken Master and serious boozing results in serious ass kicking. Very light hearted, very athletic. Even the montage had me seeing serious skill and gymnastic awe and wonder.

"Girls just wanna have fun"

Deu goes out on her own to show off her skills. She easily disposes of some badly trained henchmen with some awesome high flying kicks and choreographed blocks and counters. Good times.

Rating: 3 spins

"The Respect"

Deu takes on "The Loner" in a non romantic, waves pounding beach action scene. Deu seriously wins in a shutout. Beautifully shot, some serious counters and high flying kick-assery. The team gets united and forms Voltron. All 5 team members get ready to take on the uber evil kidnapping crew.

Rating: 2 spins

"The Hideout"

Using Deu as bait, our Thai Force Five find the not so secret hideout of the kidnappers. They've got some heavy duty mini bosses who are tough as shit. One is a red haired dude and the other is a old man master kinda guy.

Everybody is going nuts, punches are flying and our crew is getting their asses kicked. All looks doomed for our team.

Rating: 3 spins

"The Teaser"

I call this "The Teaser" because this is a fight scene with our main boss Roontawan (she's the Asia Pacific Woman Bodybuilding Champion...no seriously). Crazy looking boss, heavily built and she can be lethal. Sanim and Deu use some tag team shit but that doesn't work at all. I should also mention Sanim is there to save is fiancee who got kidnapped.

Rating: No rating as this is just a teaser to the next scene.

"The Bridges"

And we get one of the best fight scene in the entire movie. Taking place on all creaky Temple of Doom like wooden bridges, our hero and heroine battle it out against Boss Lady. Serious rope flipping, duck and cover and awesome counters. Even tag team shit comes at a mile a minute. Totally insano stuff here...pure action ballet to the uber max.

When you think our heroes have won, you'll be shocked to see what happens.

Rating: 3 1/2 spins

"The Catfight"

After our other crew get their asses kicked, its up to Deu to step it up (get it!!!). Our Thai Force Five are badly beaten, Muscular Boss Lady looks to have won but Deu won't give in. Quick montage of Sanim, her training and those poor kidnapped women...she knows what she needs to do to get the strength she needs to defeat evil HGH Boss Lady.

She drinks her spinach tears!!!!

This leads to an easy ass kicking off the mini bosses and sets up the ultimate muy thai catfight. This has gotta be the best catfight action scene evaaaaaaaaaaaaar!!!!!!

Both get some serious shots in. Elbows are a flying, kicks are connecting and both women are eating floor. But Deu goes ballistic and takes care of business. I fell in love with JeeJa Yanin as she elbowed and kneed 'roided up Boss Lady in the face. Some reverse kicks and a spectacular finishing maneuver make this a happy ending.

Sanim is played by Kazoo, a TRICKZ martial arts champion from France. Thai B-Boys, some awesomely trained stuntmen and the hot JeeJa Yanin make Raging Phoenix a Must See film. If your tired of the boring American action films that rely on *yawn* guns and explosions, then hit up the alternative that is Thai action cinema.

JeeJa Yanin is clearly the cute action slayer and whatever her next film is, its going to be filled with the action you clearly paid to see. She's Tony Jaa with boobs and their really is nothing sexier than seeing a women elbow and knee somebody in the face. That's fuckin hawt.

Nude-ipedia

It's action porn, not regular porn

Gore-ipedia

This is not the gore you are looking for.

WTF moment

The final scene

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I gave Chocolate 4 spinkicks. I'm giving Raging Phoenix 3 and a half. That's not to say Chocolate is better, but at the time I had never seen anything like Chocolate before. The movie has a run time of 1 hour and 50 minutes (I know right?) and some of the movie is filled with melodramaticy moments which make the movie longer than it should be.

But damn those fight scenes are awesome.

(Shhhhh the movie on YouTube right now, so you can actually watch it)

It's a happy fun time watching Raging Phoenix. I guarantee.

Rating:

1/2

Check out one of the fight scenes below.




This is a stunt show demonstration from a Thai TV show (funny stuff)





And of course the trailer.

Categories: action cinema, chocolate review, chocolate thai action, JeeJa Yanin, muay thai, raging phoenix, raging phoenix trailer, thai movies, tony jaa

Top 3 Five Spinkicks Movies of 2008

Rating:

Besides the #1 pick in my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2008 (which will come on Friday), only 3 movies were granted 5 spinkicks this year.

The 5 spinkicks movies of 2008, all 3 are non horror related. They made me feel so giddy with excitement that I was happy happy joy joy after experiencing these flicks. These were the movies you wanted to see again right after watching them. These were the movies that made you go "Fuck Yeah! That was soooo awesome!"

5 spinkick movies are rare, but every once in a while, you know 10 minutes in that you're seeing something special, leaving even the most jaded viewer jaw dropped.

Click on the titles for my reviews of these films (except Rambo).

So without further delay, on to the list!

3.) Rambo

Directed by Sylvester Stallone

Rocky Balboa was good, but Rambo was Stallone's ultimate blast off comeback. So bloody, gutty and splatter-ific, this is the Rambo we only heard about in those 'Nam Special Ops stories.

The cruelty of the enemy, the mercenaries for hire, the Julie Benz gratuitous cleavage.

But its Stallone as John fuckin Rambo that made this transcend normal action and into stratosphere action. All he wants to do is bag some snakes and live monk peacefully but they always fuckin drag him back in to kick ass.

And he's a bitter old soldier. From arm decaps to the gratuitous over the top gore of a 50 cal, he obiliterated the enemy in the best action scenes of the year.

Rambo was the best action movie of 2008 and Stallone just keeps reminding us he is still on top of the uber action movie.

2.) JCVD

Directed by Mabrouk El Mechri

JCVD is by far JCVD's best movie since Bloodsport. How can Van Damme fuck up playing a variation of himself?

From the paraodic opening scene in a Bulgarian straight to DVD movie to the Van Damme kick demonstration, JCVD satires Van Damme, plays to his strengths and leaves us questioning what this meglomaniacal man has been thinking since he left the Hollywood system.

In one final climactic scene, we the fans get what we wanted as we see Van Damme kicks ass in front of the crowd. He then proceeds to high five fellow officers and taps his chest in a moment of total self ego.

Totally fuckin awesome. So classic. So Van Damme.

And if you are a Van Damme fan, this is must see.

Check out the full review here.

1.) Chocolate

Prachya Pinkaew, the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong, is the reigning king of action cinema.

And Chocolate again shows why guns and shootouts are fuckin overrated.

It's been a while since a full out martial arts flick totally blew me away.

JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking as Zen, an autistic girl who accumulates her martial arts skills by watching who else...Tony Jaa. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is.

Fuck the plot and any character development. It's totally irrelelevant. What you came here to see is non stop muay thai choreography at its finest.

Non existent plot and motive plus the fact that the last 30 minutes were all action makes this one of the best films of 2008. Chocolate hit on all cylinders of what it was suppose to be. A non stop action sequence from start to finish.

Now top that Tony Jaa.

Check out my review for descriptions of all the action scenes of the movie.

Tags:
top 5 spinkick movies of 2008, top movies 2008 , rambo , jcvd, gratuitous nudity, chocolate, top action movies 2008, jean claude van damme, top 10 horror movies 2008, top 10 2008, 5 spinkicks, jadedviewer

Categories: chocolate, chocolate review, jadedviewer, JCVD, JCVD review, rambo, top 3 five spinkick movies of 2008, top 3 non horror movies, top 5 spinkick movies of 2008

Chocolate (Review)

Chocolate

Chocolate (2008)

Directed by Prachya Pinkaew

Prachya Pinkaew, the director of awesome-rific films Ong Bak and Tom Yum Goong , is the reigning king of action cinema.

And Chocolate again shows why guns and shootouts are fuckin overrated.

It's been a while since a full out martial arts flick totally blew me away.

JeeJa Yanin is breathtaking as Zen, an autistic girl who accumulates her martial arts skills by watching who else...Tony Jaa. Her muay thai skills are unfuckinbelievable and as always, there are no stunt doubles and all the action stunts you see are as is. The outtakes are at the end.

Fuck the plot and any character development. It's totally irrelelevant. What you came here to see is non stop muay thai choreography at its finest. This is vintage Jackie Chan (ala Police Story) with stunts, jumps, flips and the backround as weaponry.

Boring Plot-O-Matic (thanks IMDB)

An autistic woman with powerful martial art skills looks to settle her ailing mother's debts by seeking out the ruthless gangs that owe her family money.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

OK. The plot above is why all these elaborate fight scenes develop. Zen and her cousin need money to help her mom buy badly needed medicine. They first use Zen's autistic skills via a ball toss exhibition. But they know they need more cash so they seek out the local gang owned businesses that owe her mom money. This soon ticks off the crime overlord and soon he's on their tail.

Zen also loves chocolate M&M's (hence the title), loves her Teddy Bear and has a fear of flies. This all comes into play during whats to play out.

But really that was all irrelevant.

For this review, for all intended purposes, is to grade each of the fight scenes on a number grade from 1 to 10 with 1 being shitty to 10 being fuckin awesome.

So let's get started.

1.) Hoodrats fight scene

Some teenage hoodrats test Zen's catching skills with a knife. She then uses an arsenal of mimicked Tony Jaa moves to go all Ong Bak on them. This was 18 minutes in and you get a good taste of whats to come. Like some chicken wings as an appetizer. You know it's going to get better.

Rating - 6.0

2.) Ice Factory fight scene

After a anime moment of clarity and 33 minutes in, we get the ice factory fight scene. Wow. Totally awesome. Zen shows off her mega lightning kicks and disposes of henchman without a sweat. Blocks of ice can't stop our little Zen.

Rating - 7.5

3.) Warehouse fight scene

38 minutes in, Zen is in full effect. She's using the warehouse as a weapon of mass destruction. Slipping in through tight spots and using lockers, chairs and cardboard boxes as a playground of weaponry, it's a beautiful thing to watch.

Spinkicks, swipe kicks, flying backward spin kicks, flying splits and a few comedy kicks to boot. And the climax is a slide under a glass table that only Zen could pull off. FUCK YEAH!!! Poor henchman. Why do they keep trying?

Rating - 8.0

4.) Meat Factory/Butchery fight scene

Does Zen have a weakness? Well remember that fear of flies? Well Houston, we have a problem. But thanks to her cousin whose there with a electronic fly swatter, problem solved.

45 minutes in, we are going to see meat cleavers and knives and a spinkick-palooza. Never has a butchery ever been so critical to some ass kicking. A few sporadic funny ha ha's during the fight scene with some elbows to the head make this one of the most entertaining fight scenes ever. The stunt team is so critical to the action. They are the one's getting hit and they are getting hit really fuckin hard. Kudos to them.

Rating - 8.0

5.) Rooftop restaurant fight scene (with Mini boss #1!)

Let's just list some fragmented action highlights. Elbows through the head. Knees to the face. Some acrobatic kicks to the face. A fight scene that takes place with Zen crouched down under some pipes. All this climaxes to a knee to the head that is without a doubt the best I've ever seen.

Rating - 9.0


6.) Restaurant dojo fight scene

No holds barred as we get an onslaught of henchman for Zen to kick the shit out off. This is muay thai action at its finest. All the kicks and elbows and punches are perfectly timed. The flips and jumps all choreographed without any flaws. 360 spinkicks to the back of of the head. Just beautiful. A knee to the face in awesome-rific slo mo. Oh yeah.

And we're not even done!!!

Because the next scene is probably the most politically incorrect thing you'll ever see in an action movie. BUT WHO FUCKIN CARES!!! IT'S FUCKIN AWESOME!!!!

BIG SPOILER BELOW!!!!

Zen has to face off against the crime lord's biggest weapon yet. An autistic mini boss #2!!!!

This dude in glasses and an Adidas track suit has some autism too and he's as spazzy as can be. Plus he's got this breakdancing muay thai style she's never seen. Zen gets her ass kicked but she uses her snapshot focused brain to mimic her enemy. Soon she's spazzing and kicking mini boss #2 unconcious. The finishing move is just totally unbelievable. Bless all stunt wire work!!!

You have see this to believe it. SO AWESOME I THINK I WET MYSELF.

END BIG SPOILER!!!!

But it's not over yet. We get a samurai sword-palooza and soon Zen has snapshot her dad's moves to eliminate this threat.

Which then leads too...........

Rating - 9.5

7.) Side of the building fight scene (FINAL BOSS SCENE!!)

This is single handidly the best fight scene on the side of a building EVER!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Zen has to chase final boss through a parade of fire escapes, neon signs and the side of a train platform. It perfectly plays out. Because you know henchmen are gonna fall down some 2 stories...badly.

A great way to end the film. The final fight scene is everything you wanted it to be. Such killer stunts and action sequences, I can't believe they accomplished all of this in less than 90 minutes.

Rating - 10.0

Influences

Are you kidding me? Prachya Pinkaew and his stunt team are their own influence on other films.

Gore-ipedia (if you want to be shocked don't read)

This ain't horror son.

Nude-ipedia

Dude, this ain't horror.

WTF moment

The spoiler scene listed above. I lost my shit when I saw it. So awesome.

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

This may be the first movie I may give 5 spinkicks too. But I'll give it 4 plus an extra spinkick for being so awesome. Non existent plot and motive plus the fact that the last 30 minutes were all action makes this one of the best films of 2008. Chocolate hit on all cylinders of what it was suppose to be. A non stop action sequence from start to finish.

Now top that Tony Jaa.

Rating:

plus one more for being awesome

Check out the trailer below (with English subs!)

Tags:
chocolate, chocolate trailer , chocolate thai action , ong bak, tony jaa, JeeJa Yanin, top movies of 2008, muay thai, thai action movie, Prachya Pinkaew, tom yum goong, chocolate review,

Categories: action cinema, chocolate, chocolate review, chocolate thai action, chocolate trailer, JeeJa Yanin, muay thai, Prachya Pinkaew, thai movies, tom yum goong, tony jaa