Wednesday, March 14, 2012

The Summer of Massacre (Review)

The Summer of Massacre

The Summer of Massacre (2011)

Directed by Joe Castro

Well that sucked.

Back in the day, I would search out for the most fucked up, goriest, splattered fill horror movies out in the underground. I soon stumbled upon German splatter like Ittenbach's Burning Moon or Schnaas Violent Shit trilogy. I would get excited when I'd get my hands on this type of movie because I'd see unrated gore and splatter in all it's 8th generation dubbed glory.

Those movies did it old school. Old school tubes, animal intestines and red faux blood to create those effects. Sure they were balloons filled with red dye and such but it looked awesome. Well those days are long gone unfortunately.

Today we get shit like The Summer of Massacre. A movie whose sole premise is that it holds the Guinness Book of World Records for the Highest Body Count in a slasher film at 155. To get this record it fills 1 hour and 37 minutes with HORRIBLY BAD CGI KILLS. And I don't mean these were Romero like CGI, I mean this is MS Paint bad CGI. It's the equivalent of super transposed 16 bit Genesis graphics on top of the movie. Atari had better graphics than this film.

It's technically an anthology with self contained stories about a mad killer on the loose, some grotesque handicapped kid, killer father back from the dead to torment his son, camp kids killed by mutant firemen and serial killers with a nuke. It's not as cool as it sounds. Bad acting, bad makeup effects, bad stories and utterly fuckin shitty CGI kills. Sliced necks, ankles, necks, etc. Bullet would deaths. A whole level of stupid gross shit. I could list shit but honestly I don't even remember. This is pretty much the worst horror movie I've seen in the last 10 years. And trust me, I've seen a lot of bad ones.

I just can't stand movies who use CGI in their horror these days. I'm an old school guy with a throwback to the grind mentality. I'm pretty sure it's necessary at times but I like seeing the vicious realism of trauma. It's what I grew up watching and I appreciate the effort by the filmmakers when they go this route.

The Summer of Massacre is a crappy induced diarrhea mess of a film. I'd rather have my eyes gouged by hot pokers than see this film again. I'd rather be eaten alive by cannibals and shown by beating heart than see this film again. I'd rather have all my arms and legs chopped off and placed in a wooden box buried alive than see this film again.

The scary part is all those scenes are going to probably be in the sequel in really fuckin bad CGI.


0 spinkicks

Check out the trailer below.

1 comment:

  1. I commend you for writing an earnest review of this film. I couldn't bring myself to do so after watching this shit heap. And it's not just the lackluster, CGI infused, kills. There are no coherent stories here AT ALL and none of them make any sense. The prison dialogue scene, egads! I wanted to jam a pencil into my earhole. Was that even English?