Thursday, November 18, 2010

10 More Undeniable Parallels Between Porn and Horror

Not a lot of people will admit they watch porn. The same can be said about horror as well. That's one of many parallels both genres have. So after reading this article called 10 Undeniable Parallels Between Porn and Horror Movies, I figured I could come up with more parallels between the 2.

I'll admit, I agree with almost everything on that list in some way or the other. If you don't take it too seriously, it's pretty funny and unbelievably true. Porn is the bastard child of Hollywood yet horror is looked upon as the stepchild of the studio system. Both are treated like shit.

So I'm adding 10 more to this already comprehensive list.

1.) Their conventions are eerily similar

Both horror and porn have conventions in the most unlikely of places. Horror has their conventions in hotel ballrooms while porn will have them in suburbia. Both can even sellout convention centers.

Both have booths and feature film viewings and have crazy stunts to get some buzz. Freebies a plenty at both conventions.

2.) They both remake or reboot current or past films

Horror is the reboot and remake genre of genres. Every horror movie of the last 20 years seems to either have been remade, rebooted, prequeled or sequeled. Porn is the master of their domain when it comes to parodying Hollywood movies. They've even parodied horror movies making it a double penetration!

3.) They both have an awards show honoring themselves

Horror has the Scream Awards. Porn has the AVN Awards and both have quirky categories. Horror has winners for "Holy Sh*t Scene of the Year" and "Most Memorable Mutilation" while porn has "Most Outrageous Sex Scene" and "Best MILF title".

4.) Group slaughter is the same as an orgy

At times in a horror movie, the slasher will go all mass genocide on a group of victims. This is pretty much the porn equivalent of a gangbang or orgy. Both involve sweaty people and lots of heavy breathing.

5.) Both genres are dominated by white people

Most actors and actresses in both genres are white. Sure you'll get a token minority every now and then but for the most part, it's stereotypically pale.

6.) They're side by side at the video store

Umm, you ever notice that the horror videos are right next to the swinging doors that say "Adults Only!". C'mon, I know you did.

7.) Both have subgenres that are fucked up as hell

Horror has torture porn. Porn HAS actual torture porn.

8.) A hulking big man wants to "stab" the shit out of a hot girl

This is pretty much self explanatory.

9.) Both have foreplay


Before you get to the good shit, there is tons of foreplay. Slashers taunt and ridicule their victims before the final slaughter. Porn has lots of...well you know.

10.) Bodily fluid is splattered all over the place

I'll leave this up to your sick and dirty imagination.

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C'mon now, you noticed all these things to. You just don't want to admit it. A few other similarities are both have blogs and sites dedicated to reviewing their movies. Have you ever been to a porn movie review site? It's spookily similar to a horror review. Do you have any more similarities to add to the list? Think about it.

While you're thinking, I'm going to get the best of both worlds by watching The Human Sextipede.


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4 comments:

  1. Brilliant! It's so true! They're even shot in much the same manner, for example, both primarily maintain focus on the female throughout and then, without even going into the analogy between sex and death and the interchangeability of bodily fluids, the eventual culmination is the same too, death scenes themselves are often shot for shot comparable with porn. Great post!

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  2. and we look them, up on the internet... and try to be by ourselves when we do it...
    wait, what... i didn't say that. i mean other people, not me...
    :)
    iZombie

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