Don't worry, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming next month (early January). But I wanted to make a list of some of the best non-horror movies I saw this year. I've broken out into the "Box Office Elephants" (your standard summer blockbusters) and the "You heard of these and you still didn't go see it" (straight to DVD, independents, DVDs picked up by US distributors, etc.)
Some of these movies were awesome, some were awesome if you went in with low expectations (ahem G.I. Joe, Terminator) and some were sleeper hits that totally shocked me with how mega-rific they were.
Let's look back on 2009 and see how Hollywood's summer elephants took on the mice of the independent scene.
"Box Office Elephants"
1.) The Hangover
the jaded viewer says: The best comedy of 2009. Nuff said.
the jaded viewer says: Not has good as Borat but the shock moments live up to the hype. Bruno brought about Middle East peace...in latex.
3.) Capitalism: A Love Story
the jaded viewer says: Love em or hate em, Michael Moore can turn our economic depression into ironic ha ha's.
1.) District 9
the jaded viewer says: Easily one of the best movies of 2009. The satire is pretty obvious but Blomkamp blends in alien buggers seemlessly into our world and they have personality!
2.) Star Trek
the jaded viewer says: Even if you aren't a Trekkie, you now know who James Tiberius Kirk is. But Spock easily steals the show by being more emotional than a WWE wrestler.
3.) Inglorious Basterds
the jaded viewer says: This jumped to #3 on my Best Quentin Tarantino movies (ahead of Reservoir Dogs!). Fear The Bear!
the jaded viewer says: You really needed to read the graphic novel to get the subtleties of what Watchmen was all about. But Zach Snyder really did make a great movie out of the holy grail of graphic novels Alan Moore/Dave Gibbons Watchmen.
5.) Terminator: Salvation
the jaded viewer says: A lot of people really thought this was awful. Well, I didn't think so. I thought it captured the essence of the Future War that was always talked about. John Connor's scar origin, Arnold's cameo and Kyle Reese and Marcus are brought to life. McG did a solid job here.
"You heard of these and you still didn't go see it"
The LOLs with punches in the face
1.) Black Dynamite
the jaded viewer says: I gave this movie 4 spinkicks! What more needs to be said? Blaxploitation ha ha's at its freakin finest. Here's an actual line spoken by Black Dynamite:
"Your knowledge of scientific biological transmogrification is only matched by your zest of kung-fu treachery"
2.) Big Man Japan
the jaded viewer says: It's hard to describe this "superhero" movie from Japan but take a bit of Ultraman and mix in Godzilla and you have Big Man Japan. You gotta take my word on this. You will laugh yourself into a coma when you see this.
3.) Crank 2: High Voltage
the jaded viewer says: Not an indie by any stretch, you may have missed Jason Statham's return as Chev Chelios (and his faulty artificial heart). Chev, Amy Smart and a horesetrack. If you've seen it, you know what I mean.
4.) Ong Bak 2
the jaded viewer says: Tony Jaa makes it look so easy. Not as good as the original, the stunts and action sequences here are still vintage Jaa and you won't get bored when knees, elbows and spinkicks are clobbering henchmen.
Spectacular DIY Independents
the jaded viewer says: The best independent movie to come out this year. It's visually eye candy, a lovely story and filled with characters and dreams you wish you could dream about.
2.) No Right Turn
the jaded viewer says: Grime and crime noir at its best. David Noele Burke's films echoes Tarantino but turns in a crime fairy tale. Good times.
3.) The Local
the jaded viewer says: It's like a Bukowski poem come to life. Crime drama with some kick, Dan Eberle's NYC indie is filled with lowlife characters and an anti-hero with a heart.
You've all seen the elephants, I think you should try to feed the mice. Many of these films are available on Netflix, Amazon and other big box stores. If you need to go to the official site to purchase, seriously buy yourself a present this Christmas and get em. You won't be disappointed.
Did I miss one's on your list? Got any recommendations for me? Go and leave a comment and let me know. Like I said, my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2009 is coming soon (once I see the flicks I missed this year).
Bring on 2010!
**Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll be posting m...
**Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll be posting ...
With the remake of The Last House on the Left coming out today, I'd figure I'd get you noobs caught up on this subgenre of exploitat...
It's now a bicoastal phenomenon. When I first started writing these walkthroughs in 2010 and 2011 , they were more so therapy for m...
. . . **Hello fellow Redditors, it seems you are all curious of this haunted house that other haunted houses are afraid of. I'll ...
courtesy of Blackout Haunted House Well a lot has happened since I posted my 2011 review of Blackout Haunted House. Blackout made the f...
[This is just a review of Blackout Elements. A spoiler filled walkthrough will follow after the show's run ends.] Well if you'r...
I rarely cover comedies on the jaded viewer but having rewatched EuroTrip for like the 10th time because of Showtime, I have to make sure y...
"I'm being toyed with by a bunch of depraved children" - Nicholas Van Orton (The Game, 1997) PROLOGUE I've alw...
Mediatrix Mediatrix (2011) Directed by Cory Udler I'm pretty positive Cory Udler is not a big fan of organized religion. Udler, the...
- ► 2013 (41)
- ► 2012 (78)
- ► 2011 (156)
- ► 2010 (237)
- Carriers (Review)
- Deadgirl (Review)
- After Dark Horrorfest 4 (Trailers)
- Thirst (Review)
- Zombie Santa and the jaded viewer wish you a Merry...
- Best Movies of 2009 You May Have Missed (and othe...
- Grace (Review)
- 5150 Elm's Way (Trailer)
- Drag Me To Hell (Review)
- The WTF List: The Box
- Orphan (Review)
- The Shortround: Alice Jacobs is Dead (Review)
- Dollhouse (Reviews of the last 4 episodes)
- Kick-Ass (Exclusive Clip and Trailer!)
- Christmas Themed Horror Movies You May Have Forgot...
- Top 10 Holiday Characters That Could Be Turned Int...
- Born (A ScreenShot Review with 20% nudity!)
- The Shortround: Black Santa's Revenge (Teaser Trai...
- Sick Girl (Review)
- The Killing Room (Review)
- The Shortround: Alice Jacobs is Dead (Trailer)
- The Hills Run Red (Review)
- The Thread: How gratuitous is gratuitous nudity?
- ▼ December (23)
- ► 2008 (178)
- ► 2007 (21)
2014 Haunted House Reviews
The WTF Lists
2006-2014 The Jaded Viewer. Powered by Blogger.