Friday, September 11, 2009

Top 10 Villains from Jean Claude Van Damme's Films

Well after the slight success of my Top 10 Villains from Arnold Schwarzenegger Movies, I figured I should topple the filmography of our beloved jaded viewer hero Jean Claude Van Damme. This list was little harder to compile from Arnold's because, well JCVD baddies are not as memorable as Ahnuld's.

Also there is the fact that I am biased for theatrical JCVD films compared to straight to DVD JCVD. But I pushed onward and came up with the list below. Each of these uber villains are defeated in a climactic battle of spinkicks, punches and HGH fueled mega battles which makes all these super evil doers much more memorable.

On to the list!

Top 10 Villains from Jean Claude Van Damme Movies


10.) Bison

From: Street Fighter

Van Damme played Guile as we know and it's hard to take him seriously playing the Joe with his UN centric accent.

But the late Raul Julia, complete in the video game Bison costume is pretty hilarious as the meglomaniacal Bison. He spews out awful dialogue and gets his ass whupped by the scissor spinkicks of Guile.

Remember this is the movie where the hot Aussie singer Kylie Minogue plays Cammy!

Check out the final battle scene.



9.) Garrotte

From: Replicant

JCVD has made alot of movies where he plays an evil or asshole version of himself. So you have to rank Garrotte, a serial killer with Ray Ban sunglasses, long hair and a leather coat as the greatest "twin" JCVD has played as a villain. Garrotte kills women and kids and sets them on fire. Damn.

Replicant was the first of many STV Van Damme flicks and it's an actual good film.

The final battle scene as the replicant battles his original evil self is awesome.

Check out the final battle scene.


8.) Senator Aaron McComb

From: Timecop

Ahh the evil politician. The senator goes to great lengths to manipulate the space/time continuum so he can become President of the US. Sen. McComb bribes and kills and manipulates everybody in the Time Enforcement Commission but when he threatens Sloane, that's when Max Walker draws the line.

His death is by far one of the best in any JCVD films as Walker tells the Senator:

"Same matter can't occupy same space"

See the result by heading here. (3:48 in)


7.) Emil Fouchon

From: Hard Target

Should Emil Fouchon be ranked higher? Maybe. He's more eviler than many of the others on this list as he kills homeless war veterans for sport. He even looks cooler with doves flying and in double gun wielding slo mo action scenes.

He's a downright, evil douchebag but thanks to Chance, he doesn't stand a -...I was about to make a bad pun. Sorry.

"Hunting season is over"

Check out all the action scenes here.




6.) Himself

From: JCVD

Ahh yes. The old WTF spot on this list. I threw a curveball with this one right?

Well in JCVD he recites a solid 7 min speech about his utter self destruction from women, drugs and his character. This results in his outcast from the Hollywood system and the rise of straight to DVD, filmed in Bulgaria Van Damme.

And you can't deny the fact that he, himself was his biggest enemy in JCVD. Not the bank robbers or the media or the cops.

Check out the monologue here.


5.) The Sandman

From: Death Warrant

A psycho if there ever was one. He is the muscle behind the illegal human organ harvesting at one Harrison Penitentiary.

"Welcome to hell!"

Though its hard to believe the other prisoners just allowed him to leave after killing the Sandman.

The final battle scene is awesome.

4.) Cynthia/Atilla

From: Lionheart

Well it's a co #4 on this one. Cynthia is the evil bitch behind the illegal human fighting tournaments and Atilla is the ringer they bring in to take down Lionheart.

We're an equal opportunity villain lister here at the jaded viewer, so Cynthia's evil multi millionaire human cock fighting investment can't be ignored.

Because Leo couldn't "choke a bitch", he had to go all spinkicky on Atila on a tennis court.

See the end right here.


3.) Andrew Scott/GR13

From: Universal Soldier

You knew Dolph was gonna be on this list. And as Andrew Scott aka GR13, he's one of the most sympathetic characters as shit, he's fuckin dead and got reanimated.

But then he goes all postal and and seeks retribution.

Soldiers who go all rampagy get ranked high here and as he's a professional soldier with high tech weaponry, he's more bad ass than anybody on this list.

"Are we having fun yet?"

Check out the trailer.



2.) Tong Po

From: Kickboxer

Tong Po goes for the movie juggular as he paralyzes Kurt Sloane's brother Eric. Don't mess with fuckin family. Of course this leads to an awesome 80s training montage and a final epic, to the death fight scene. A couple of spinkicks later, Tong Po is knocked the fuck out.

But why is Tong Po ranked so high? Because he actually KILLED Kurt and Eric Sloane at the beginning of Kickboxer 2!!!!

(well off screen of course).

That fact alone jumps him to #2 as he technically won.

Watch the trailer.

1.) Chong Li

From: Bloodsport

Chong Li was the obvious choice for the #1 Van Damme villain. He threatens Dux, comatoses Ray Jackson, kills one of the fighter and *gasp* dishonors the Kokoruki elders and their traditions. And he fuckin cheats.

The resume speaks for himself.

And the final fight is an epic Van Damme action sequence for the ages. You just can't top it.

Chong Li is cocky, egotistical and brutal. What more do you want? And I think he played a North Korean.

Hey the brick didn't hit back but Dux made you say uncle. So there.

Here are the Top 10 Scenes in Bloodsport.

This list has some good evil villains from Van Damme movies too but the rankings are way off in my opinion. But it includes a couple of characters I have left off.

Next up, sidekicks edition. Stay tuned!

9 comments:

  1. Fantastic list. As I was reading, I kept thinking "oh this one is my favorite" but then I'd read on, and find another favorite as you kept reminding me of all the greats. Nice to see the Sandman on the list. I was beginning to think I was the only person that saw that movie.

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  2. Right on! Chong Li is DEFINITELY the best Van Damme villian! I've got to see JCVD. It looks like it's pretty cool.

    JM

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  3. Fuck Chong Li, I will jack that cheating bastard up! No one could ever be more deserving of first place than Chong. Great list homeslice! Ive almost seen less than half, so I am getting closer with each list =D

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  4. Thanks all. JCVD flicks are there own subgenre and even though somebody made up that villains list already I had to chime in with my own.

    Maybe Chong Li can spinoff into his own sitcom.

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  5. The peck flexing is what really did it for me...

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  6. nice post.

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  7. well the true is that I don't like the movies of Jean Claude Van Damme, to is the same thing that Chuck Norris I never look a movie of Chuck and I never like the fighting style of Jean, in fact you know that Van Damme is not a martial art fighter, yeah he is only a ballet dancer from Broadway, but I have to accept that chosen Chong Li have a evil face, I don't like to mess with him after a night without sleeping.
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  8. Actually there was another one, The mongolian figher from The Quest, played by Abdel Qissi, the same actor who played Attila, so that should be the nr 1 since he is the villain in 2 movies, also Tongo Po is played by Michel Qissi,Abdel's brother, Chong Li is played by Bolo Yeung (a great martial artist btw,who at this day is a teacher and still looks decent)..this had been said , it is ironic that JCvD's greatest movies enemies are his real life best friends, untill this day actually. Another guy who is friend with them and played a role in Bloodsport as Paco, is Paulo Tocha, he is actually the first non-asian who trained in real kickboxing in Thailand during those 1980's.

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  9. where's Fender Tremolo from the "Cyborg"1990? that's the most evil villain of all time in my opinion !!!!
    kkk

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