Tuesday, October 09, 2007

The Consolation Prizes of American Horror

So as we wrap up 2007, Hollywood is churning out some horror that may or may not be worth 2 shits. Below is a list of some either gems or turds with extra corn.

1.) 30 Days of Night

The Blah Blah Blah:

Vampires in Alaska. Did I just write that?

2.) Saw IV

The Blah Blah Blah:

Is Jigsaw the new Chucky? Seems like it after the 4th effin sequel.

3.) The Signal

The Blah Blah Blah:

Cell phones make people go insane. That happens everyday in NYC.

4.) P2

The Blah Blah Blah:

More torture-core? Please stop. I mean I'm one Captivity away from torturing some innocent woman.

5.) The Mist

The Blah Blah Blah:

When weather becomes the unstoppable evil, I feel like they're not even trying anymore.

That's all theatrical for now. I left off release dates because I mean all of the above makes me want to have Hatchet face slice me open.

There are a few straight to DVDers that peaked my interest.

Wrong Turn 2 (ooooooooooh)

Return to House on Haunted Hill (with their gimmicky "You Choose their fate" function)

Black Sheep

...and countless others. I think it's time I rejoin Netflix.

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