The Best Elephants, DIY Indies and OMG! Movies of 2011

Before I post my top 10 horror movies (yes it's coming soon), I wanted to go over the other movies (yes I saw other non horror flicks) that I thought were super duper awesome this year. From the box office Hollywood juggernauts to the indie spectaculars, these stood out like no other (plus there the only ones I saw). There are also a few films you may have missed that will completely blow you away.

"Box Office Elephants"

1.) Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Best sci-fi/action flick of the year. Serkin made me care about ape-kind.

2.) Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows Part 2: I'm a big Potter fan (shhhh) so I liked how it all ended.

3.) The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo: Rooney Mara gets all naked/grunty/scary in this remake of the Swedish bestseller. She drives a typical crime mystery into awesomeness.

"DIY Indie Spectaculars"

1.) Super: Not as good as Kick-Ass but fun nevertheless. Wilson and Page made an awesome crazy dynamic duo as normals become superheroes.

2.) Kaboom: Gregg Araki makes a comeback with a WTF film that will make you sexual uncomfortable as it will make you scratch your head...and your balls.

3.) Waldo the Dog: Best indie screener I received this year. Waldo the Dog will be unlike any other film you have ever seen. It's the equivalent of seeing a fancy car get wrecked, miraculously repaired and then totally wrecked again. As much as you'd like to look away you can't. It's just so mesmerizing to watch.

4.) A Foundling: A Foundling breaks the handcuffs of the conventional indie film. It's a serial Western with a twist and though follows such a simple story of 2 sisters reunited, it's even smart enough to comment on the world around them.

"The OMGs"

1.) Ninja Kids!!!: One of the best films of 2011 from Takashi Miike. Ninja Kids is like Spy Kids on acid. Think Harry Potter but with over the top ninjas and slapstick comedy. It's a cute Japanese family film with a Miike insanity mixed in. And it works from start to finish. It's super duper funny, has some dog poop humor and a ton of CGI madness that only Miike could think up. Based on a long running Japanese TV show called Rantaro the Ninja Boy, it's filled with humor that's international in the LOLs. It's got visual wackiness, self aware parodies and villains that are basically clowns with swords and ninja stars.

What you get is a family comedy that leaves you feeling freakin awesome after you leave the theater. Ninja Kids is heartwarming Japanese wackiness, the Miike way.

2.) BKO: Bangkok Knockout: BKO: Bangkok Knockout which is without a doubt, the best action movie of 2011. BKO is an orgy and ballet of violence set to a soundtrack. You won't know the names of the characters or care if the bad guys get their comeuppance. Seriously, it's not important.

As long as you were mesmerized by the punches, kicks, double kicks, double punches and the synchronized attacks, BKO has done it's job.

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What non horror movies did you think were the best of 2011? Let me know!

Categories: bangkok, comics, hollywood remake, independent cinema, indie film, indie horror, ninja kids, nyaff 2011

BKO: Bangkok Knockout (Review)

BKO: Bangkok Knockout

BKO: Bangkok Knockout (2010)

Directed by Panna Rittikrai

[part of the NYAFF 2011]

What's the definition of action porn?

It's BKO: Bangkok Knockout which is without a doubt, the best action movie of 2011 (premiering in NYC at the NYAFF 2011). This is to be expected from Panna Rittikrai, legendary director of Born to Fight and fight coordinator for Ong Bak and Chocolate. He's made Tony Jaa ad Jeeja Yanin household names when it comes to action cinema.

BKO raises the bar of Thai action films so high, it's going to be hard to top it unless we get a sequel. The level of stunts, choreographed fight scenes and adrenaline pumping action sequences is so over the top and so off the charts it's a testament to Rittikrai's fight team's talent and threshold for pain.

One must dismiss the bad acting, the ridiculous cartooney plot and bodily harm logic when it comes to BKO. Like porn, these are only set ups to get to the money shot. And the money shots come shooting faster, harder and longer than anything I've ever see come out. (Sorry the puns write themselves).

BKO is an orgy and ballet of violence set to a soundtrack. You won't know the names of the characters or care if the bad guys get their comeuppance. Seriously, it's not important. As long as you were mesmerized by the punches, kicks, double kicks, double punches and the synchronized attacks, BKO has done it's job.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Rittkrai is a legend in Thai action cinema. The director of Born to Fight and fight coordinator for such classics as Ong Bak and Chocolate, he was the star of many action films in the 70s and 80s, and is famously a mentor to some of the top action superstars working today, including Tony Jaa (Ong Bak), Dan Chupong (Dynamite Warrior) and Jija Yanin (Chocolate). BKO features a range of martial art disciplines. A group of 'fight club' pals whose styles vary from Muay Thai and Capoeira to Kung Fu and Tai Chi must fight for their lives when one of their friends is kidnapped.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I was going to give a breakdown of each fight scenes but there are like 30 of them. In any case, the range of fighting styles is on display going from Muay Thai, Kung Fu, Capoeira and free running. But before we talk about the fights, let's get that pesky plot out of the way.

THE PLOT

So basically a Thai stunt team wins a contest to go to Hollywood to work for an American businessman. But in reality it's all a ploy to have the evil stunt team try to kick their ass. In between this crazy Wile E. Coyote plot is a group of gamblers led by the evil American business dude who are betting on who wins each fight.

And that's not all folks. We've got some kooky love triangle, twists and betrayals and a boat load of revenge themes that rear their ugly heads as this crazy movie chugs along. The movie has tons of comedy in it to which somehow feels screwbally and probably is designed for a Thai audience. Oh and there is indeed an appearance from a lady boy fighter.

THE FIGHTS

But at the end of the day, you're here to see the sex....err I mean action scenes. And there are plenty of em. Taking place in an abandoned warehouse that seems to go on for like freakin forever, you've got gangbangs, double teams and threesomes. Seriously, I'm talking about the action.

There is a killer fight scene in a caged off area that's pure awesomeness with aerial kicks I've never seen before. A boy lady?!? takes on one of our good guys ending in a slo mo water fighting sequence. We also get a masked man with an ax sustain high levels of Ryu and Ken kicking ending in a flaming ax.

And get this! They added a Fast and Furious killer car to the mix as our heroes dodge being run over. In all of this somehow our hero Pom or Pod, I forget his name has to rescue his kidnapped girlfriend.

Even more fighting with metal bars, a sequence of free running (aka parkour) and our hero battling his arch nemesis tops it all off. And at some point, you're going "That's it right?" They can't possibly top that Matrix like finishing move can they?

But they keep going.

The beauty of these action sequences is that they've taken tons of hard work to get it right. I'm pretty sure everything filmed was of the non CGI variety (fuck you Hollywood...this is how fight scenes are done). I applaud our heroes and their level of talent but I also have to applaud the henchmen getting their ass kicked. It's teamwork that makes all these fight sequences work. Sure the masked evil stunt team is waiting to get kicked but their absorbing the most damage. The editing that also has to be done was pretty solid. But to see that the timing has to be just right and the punches and kicks have to be measured carefully is quite a sight. This is what makes a Rittikrai movie legendary.

And they did keep going. The ending is an orgy and I seriously mean orgy of violence. Fights are taking place all over the warehouse and eventually we even get some gun play. A sequence below a moving truck is insanely awesome as is a juxtaposed fight scene between 2 of our other heroes versus motorcycle bad guys.

BKO: Bangkok Knockout is not going to win best acting awards but it wins the award I'm about to make up. The Jaded Viewer Action WTF holy kick orgy of violence Award for 2011 goes to BKO. If Ong Bak 2 and 3 have left you feeling like Tony Jaa has lost his touch, BKO will make it all better.

Action porn is back and it's better than ever.

Gore-ipedia

Not so much

Nude-ipedia

It's action porn, not real porn

WTF moment

Large metal mask wearing flaming ax guy

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

NYAFF 2011 film festival opens on 7/1. I've created a list of films to check out at this year's festival. BKO: Bangkok Knockout screens on July 2nd at 12:15 pm and also has a showing on July 9th at midnight.

Head over to the official site for more info.

I'm going to give this 3 spinkicks. The bad acting, ridiculous plot and my biggest gripe.....there were no outtakes at the end! I always look forward to seeing the outtakes as I appreciate what the stunt team goes through.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Facebook Page

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: action cinema, chocolate thai action, comedy action, JeeJa Yanin, karate, kung fu, muay thai, nyaff 2011, ong bak, thai movies

Machete Maidens Unleashed! (Review)

Machete Maidens Unleashed!

Machete Maidens Unleashed (2010)

Directed by Mark Hartley

[part of the NYAFF 2011]

I've been looking forward to checking out Mark Hartley's latest documentary Machete Maidens Unleashed for a while now. After checking out the trailer, I was salivating to see the history of Filipino exploitation films as I was too young to know what these films were and how they were made. Thanks to the New York Asian Film Festival (NYAFF2011) my dream is now a reality. Hartley, who last made Ozploitation a household name (that's Australian exploitation flicks) with Not Quite Hollywood: The Wild, Untold Story of Ozploitation! takes on the world of exploitation films created in the jungle depths of the Philippines and interviews the bejesus out of everybody who ever made one.

Machete Maidens Unleashed is an awesome in depth look into a period of filmmaking history where anything went, labor was cheap, the blood poured and the boobs, well they were real and they were spectacular. Hartley takes the footage, the gimmicks, the taglines and interviews from the likes of Roger Corman, John Landis, legendary Filipino director Eddie Romero and others to tell the story of what it was like to film mutated creatures, hot women in prison, blaxsploitation and rebellious war flicks. It's a fast paced doc, getting a soundbyte here while simultaneously flashing boobs in your face and decapitating an arm.

What you gain is a clear understanding of filmmaking via New World Pictures (Corman's company) and the people under him. It's nostalgic, funny and mesmerizing to watch. And it's clearly one of the best movies of 2011 in my opinion.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A fast moving odyssey into the subterranean world of the rarely explored province of Filipino genre filmmaking.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The movie is broken apart via the different genres filmed in the Philippines. These include:

• Blood Island series of films
• Women in prison films (eg. The Big Dollhouse, Black Mama, White Mama)
• War/Revolution films
• Blaxsploitation films (eg. Savage, TNT Jackson)
• Hollywood parodies (eg. Weng Weng)
• Apocalypse Now history

All the sections are really interesting in their own right. The Philippines was a haven for Corman and his directors to shoot low budget films that look like big giant blockbusters. They flew in beautiful actresses including breakout star Pam Grier and just had them kick ass and get naked. With the blessing of dictator Ferdinand Marcos and the Filipino army and stuntmen at their disposal, New World Pictures was able to make popular genre films for what seems like less than a buck and make millions.

It's just crazy interesting to look back at real exploitation films and see how they were made. These days, "exploitation films" via the Robert Rodriguez and Quentin Tarantino are big budget spectaculars. But seeing the original bizarre plots, bad acting, gratuitous nudity and unreal stunts and how it all came to be is something Generation X,Y and Z never really had a chance to experience.

The interviews, though rapidly short are full of one line soundbytes and moments of WTF. Roger Corman gives you accounts of his library of films filmed in these islands. Joe Dante and Allan Arkush give you an insight look into how they cut trailers where the trailers were made to sell the film with gimmicks and non existent plot lines. I loved the interviews with the Filipino directors which included Eddie Romero and Cirio Santiago. They were Filipinos who made American movies. Romero's take on his experience with Corman is one of genuine admiration. He strived to make Grade A movies and never thought he was making B movies. Santiago directed so many classics such as Savage and TNT Jackson. To think a Filipino director made blaxsploitation blows my fuckin mind. Just freakin fascinating.

The film was originally suppose to be Hartley's attempt to profile Weng Weng, the midget who made James Bond spoofs. There is a section here in Machete Maidens Unleashed on Weng Weng and it's also a hoot. We even get an interview with Filipino film historians, critics and other film luminaries about this universe of crazy filmmaking.

But the documentary's proudest moment has gotta be the endless boob shots. The women in prison movies then women in chains turned revenge flicks is the money shot of the documentary. Beautiful women and their breasts are endlessly looped to show you that these may have been the first films where women were leads and played action heroes. Is it total exploitation or a glimpse into 70s feminism? Thinking about it hurts my head. We get interviews with the actresses and it's just absolutely wild to see what they look like now compared to their hotness decades ago. Pam Grier is still freakin hot.

Machete Maidens Unleashed! is a manic albeit short look into the world of guerrilla filmmaking. There have been other docs profiling Corman and his flicks but none gets you sweaty, bloody and stiff like this one does. It's got me checking Netflix to see if I can watch some of these films in their entirety.

We use the term exploitation film so loosely these days. Anything that resembles something that might be a reboot of a genre from the 60s, 70s or 80s is given that label. But true exploitation films are exactly that. They exploited the audience's perceptions and desires. If the audience dug gratuitous nudity, you made a film that had tons of it. If the viewers wanted blood and guts, you cut off an arm. If you wanted to see a naked black woman kick ass with her boobs all bouncy, you made that happen. Those films were true exploitation and we'll never have a "golden" age like that again. Machete Maidens Unleashed! is your chance to see a history of filmmaking that is the epitome of WTF movies.

And also who doesn't like seeing a hot topless girl fire machine guns.

Gore-ipedia

Tons!

Nude-ipedia

Tons and tons and tons!

WTF moment

I question why I haven't seen more women in prison films

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

NYAFF 2011 film festival opens on 7/1. I've created a list of films to check out at this year's festival. Machete Maidens Unleashed screens on July 2nd at 7pm and is followed by a showing of Raw Force.

Head over to the official site for more info.

The Vitals

• The Official Site
• Facebook Page

Rating:


Check out the trailer!

Categories: 70s grindhouse movies, aswang, blaxploitation, documentary, exploitation, exploitation film, filipino horror, machete maidens unleashed, nyaff 2011, philippines, the search for weng weng trailer