You're Next (Review)

You're Next

You're Next (2013)

Directed by Adam Wingard

I won't lie. I've been waiting to see this film for a while. The festival buzz was high and I've been a big fan of director of Adam Wingard for a while since his Home Sick, Pop Skull and his short film type days. After seeing VHS and VHS 2, I was a little worried Wingard's shorts were not up to par on what I knew he was capable of.

But with You're Next, Wingard steps up to the spotlight and shines brightly  like his other film making brethren. You're Next shakes up the home invasion genre with well timed quips, brutality & twisty goodness. It's what I've been waiting for in a horror film all year. A film that's refreshingly creative, viciously brutal and takes its audience for a helluva ride.

I don't know what to call the V/H/S horror troupe made up of Wingard, writer Simon Barret, filmmakers Ti West and Joe Swanberg. Most of You're Next is made of collaborators and actors who been in previous Wingard films. Should we call them Horror X?  Oddly this is an indie horror flick with Lion's Gate marketing. That's saying something.

You're Next does the opposite of what you think the generic home invasion movie will do. Though it introduces a goody two shoes family and a cadre of masked up bad guys it also will explain to us why this is all happening. It's because of this and not a "Because you were home" nonsensical answer that makes You're Next slickly executed and fun. Ill timed humor and some wicked kills also play a part in what is probably one of the best horror films of the year.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When the Davison family comes under attack during their wedding anniversary getaway, the gang of mysterious killers soon learns that one of victims harbors a secret talent for fighting back. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I've watched a lot of home invasion movies. From Them (Ils), Funny Games, The Strangers, Martyrs, Inside to Kidnapped it's always been hit or miss with me. I like the nihilistic original Funny Games. I felt Haneke was saying something. I despised The Strangers and Kidnapped.

And I easily put them into two categories. One where the home invasion is deeply rooted in some sort of violent message. The other where brutality is not backed up by any iota of motive.

You're Next is in a 3rd mixing the two. So what were the ingredients to this masterpiece?
 
Instructions are below.

PREP TIME
15 Min (grab some popcorn and hold on tight)
COOK TIME
1 Hr 38Min
READY IN
30 Min (that's when the shit gets good)

INGREDIENTS

1 secluded house in a the middle of nowhere America
1 dysfunctional family dragging their SO's to a potential slaughter
3 demented, disturbed, twisted, fucked up killers in animal masks
1 Barbara Crampton
1 twist that makes you go WTF
1 other twist that makes you go WTF fuckity fuck...holy mother of fuck
30 gallons of blood and guts

Heaping, oozing, gloroficus blood soaked splatter spoonfuls of the following:

A few arrows in the head
1 sharp object through the head
1 sledgehammer to the the head
1 neck trauma
and more!
 
DIRECTIONS

Put all ingredients together. Stir continuously until house is soaked and dripping with blood. Throw in twizzler twisters. Bake at 350 degrees until movie makes you say "Oh shit, that's fucked up." Movie is done when you start cheering for the final girl.

Best served cold.

******************************************************************

What makes You're Next a winner is the fact that it plays within the stereotypes of the home invasion genre. Got the super wealthy family? Check. Got the pacifist brother (AJ Bowen)? The over achieving brother (Joe Swanberg)? The ditzy sister? All check. Even Ti West makes an appearance that will make your head hurt.

But the standout performance is Sharni Vinson's Erin, an Australian who will make her impact known by showing she's a GIRL that can FINALly show what's what. It's weird getting an explanation of why Erin is the perfect adversary for the invaders but it works so well. She plays her heroine chic so well, I thought they were going to tell me she was a Hack/Slash professional F.G.

Then there's the why. Because we usually don't get why the home invaders do what they do. And in the midst of this chaos, we see who really is eviler when the Big Bad is ultimately revealed. Twisty goodness is great and in extreme doses it works better.

A few cliches are thrown in and as I watched with this predominant millennial generation I could hear the gasps of somebody checking underneath the bed, leaving somebody alone in a room and the sighs once somebody went hysterical. The Generation Y horror fan has been conditioned with these cliches and I could hear the groans and grumbles once these were executed.

But that's when Wingard's brilliance comes in. He slyly executes his "scares" by strategically placing them in moments of lull. The one that comes to mind is when one family member makes a Million Dollar man like sprint that ends with a death Jigsaw would be proud of. It's superbly executed that it borders on laughable. Later, cat and mouse games are in full Stratego mode and they all have brutal mayhem payoffs that make you giggle like a school girl.

All the performances are stereotypically cliched and over the top that only the well versed horror fan might get the satire on display. Wingard seems to play with this dynamic making sure the people we are suppose to hate will die horrible horrible deaths. But it's the ones we have a rooting interest for are where the applause meter is lit up and we oblige happily.

You're Next is the perfect mix of black humor, wicked kills and perfectly timed WTFs. It's a horror film for the generation that expects the horror cliches, archetypes and vicious mayhem but throws in curve balls, LOLs and memorable craziness morsels for them to tweet out.

I've been waiting for You're Next for a long time.

The wait is finally over.

It lives up to the hype and for me it's cemented itself in my Top 10 Horror Movies of 2013.

Now go eat up this fuckin tasty dish.

Nude-ipedia

Some opening steam boobies

Gore-ipedia

See the spoonfuls above

WTF moment

The twizzler twists

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis


There is great horror coming from Horror X. If You're Next is your first taste, you won't be disappointed. It's got all the elements of Cabin in the Woods meets The Strangers. You're Next warrants repeat viewings, it warrants word of mouth praise and it warrants recognition that horror can always reinvent itself when talented filmmakers, writers and actors can collaborate and decide to create something new.

What's next?

 Rating:


Check out the trailer.


 

Categories: adam wingard, home invasion movies, home sick, indie horror, joe swanberg, pop skull, ti west, vhs, you're next, you're next review

Kidnapped (Review)

Kidnapped

Kidnapped aka Secuestrados (2011)

Directed by Miguel Ángel Vivas

I've always thought the home invasion film is one of the most terrifying genres in all of horror. I mean the reason why is pretty obvious. It realistically could happen. That's terrifying as shit right?

Lots of movies have been made about this and I've seen a lot of them. Them (aka Ils), The Strangers, Inside and Funny Games are all the notables. When I first saw Michael Haneke's Funny Games, I'll admit I was blown away. Vicious violence and Haneke's attempt to chide us and ask if we were desensitized to it all was revolutionary. Now we're given yet another home invasion film that's just as nihilistic and unrelenting as Funny Games and one has to ask why?

Vivas's Kidnapped is a Spanish import that puts the audience uncomfortably close to a home invasion playing in real time and let's us squirm as a family is robbed, tortured and terrorized. It's pure cinematic wickedness as Vivas employs only a few cuts/edits and instead hovers the camera around the action as it plays. It's a damn eerie and effective technique, one where audience has nowhere to escape but feel as terrorized as this family.

But the problem with Kidnapped lies not in it's dread or viciousness but in it's characters. Our family are ridiculously badly drawn: Dad is inept, Mom is too houswifey and daughter seems like a spoiled brat. The bad guy's don't fair either. I'm going to use a Miami Heat analogy that may or may not work to explain their dumb-ititude.

In the end Kidnapped will shock the shit out of you (that ending will stick in your mind like a splinter) but says nothing of why violence fascinates us. Kidnapped is awesome style, but little substance and stands on the lower ladder of the home invasion genre. It's also why I disliked The Strangers so much. I need more than "Because you were home".

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Three hooded Eastern-European criminals burst into a home in a Madrid gated community, holding the family hostage in its own home, and forcing the father to empty his credit cards.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Let's get that pesky plot out of the way. Innocent Spanish family has just moved into an awesome new home and they display all those qualities of rich families I despise. Dad is mega rich, Mom is all into house wife duties and the daughter wants to party. When 3 ski masked criminals invade their home, they are abused and fucked up. Dad is forced to get PINs for all his credit cards and driven out into the city and take out the max from ATMs. Meanwhile, mom and daughter are guarded into a sense of home invasion normalcy.

Later, unexpected visitors ring that damn doorbell and get caught in the mix. It's up to our fearless duo to make sure their master heist goes according to plan. The camera work here is utterly flawless. The shots hover like a guardian angel, we peek in from scene to scene with no cutting whatsoever. Violence becomes almost dreamlike. In one scene where our girls try to escape, the terror is amplified by a Vivas technique where he goes split screen and we see the action take place simultaneously. It's damn effective revealing the horror of both scenes. My eye wandered to the criminals as I knew I'd see mega fuckedupness on their end.

It's this style that is suspenseful and draws an eager viewer into this hellish world that's taking place. Kidnapped is paced so well that it's a testament to the actors and actresses to get all their dialogue, motions, etc all accomplished without any cuts. You really do admire this type of cinema as its exhilarating to watch.

Let me go into that Miami Heat analogy. When one goes into home invasion as a criminal activity you'd think the 3 of them would be on the same page. Let's break them down with their Heat counterparts.

Master Chief Criminal: Wade

We have a leader who is the one takes the dad around town maxing out his cards. You'd think this guy could be able to handle his crew but you'd be wrong. He's doesn't have the pulse of his team and seems to be a useless kind of leader. But you get the feeling he's gonna put a dagger through your heart and come up with a Wade like game winning bucket.

Petty Criminal Crazy Guy: LeBron

OK this guy is kinda nuts. He goes all crazy and almost goes all Lebron in the 4th quarter. The entire heist was in jeopardy because of his actions. He goes all murdery on a inspector and decides to "SVU" the daughter. He's totally the muscle of the crew but definitely a total choker...you know like Lebron.

Petty Criminal Morality Guy: Bosh

This guy has a total change of heart and feels bad that Lebron guy is totally fucking up everybody and is out of control. Like Bosh, he's the 3rd fiddle and he brings absolutely nothing to the game. If you're recruiting for a home invasion, you need soldiers willing to do anything to get the job done. They brought Morality Bosh Guy. And he's a fuckin pussy.

So there you have it. Your Big Three master criminals. The master plan is completely flawed. How much can one really max out from an ATM machine to get a big score? Not a helluva alot I would imagine. Home invasions are bash and dash. You get in, you loot and you get out. But these guys are having a fuckin sleepover. Plus their team isn't as solid as one might think with a bad captain, a crazy guy and a wuss.

If it wasn't for Wade guy saving the day, they'd have lost to the damn Cleveland Cavaliers family. In every home invasion movie, the family always tries to fight back or escape. And sure our family does here. I'd take the argument that summoning up courage is hard to do when you fear for your life. But one has to make sure when they are fighting back, you actually defeat your enemy. I like to think in a way that the family was only up by 2 pts and thought they had won the game. That's when Amazing happens.

Kidnapped's characters are just not at all interesting and the logic is a little off. The style as I said was spectacular but the substance of what this nihilistic journey was for is lacking. In Funny Games, Haneke broke the 4th wall and talked to the audience and asked us what WE WOULD DO. It seemed that Haneke wanted to provoke the audience and ask why we want to see the violence and when he REWINDS the action, we're even more thrilled. There is a message within Funny Games with its clean cut villains and the quagmire they give the family.

In Kidnapped, it's all glitz and glamour. Oh we see our big 3 wreak havoc, we see the dazzling dunks of gore and splatter and a game winning shot and I enjoyed seeing this mayhem. But it didn't really give me anything to talk about after seeing it. I didn't come away with something that might be thought provoking or worthwhile.

Kidnapped gives you a taste of home invasion genre, the life and death struggle but doesn't have a conceptual theme of what we just saw. It's nihilism for nihilism's sake and sometimes that's all you get.

Nude-ipedia

Daughter has serious cleavage issues

Gore-ipedia

Sliced throats
Gunplay
SVU action
If I told you more, the movie might be spoiled

WTF moment

The ending

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I know Kidnapped is high on many Top 10 lists and it will get an honorable mention from me in mine. I expect more from my home invasion and I got what I expected. European imports usually have both style and substance. I'm kinda shocked Kidnapped didn't have the latter.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, funny games trailer, funny games us remake, home invasion movies, independent cinema, indepentent horror, indie horror, inside, spanish horror, the strangers, them, them ils

More Gimmicky Horror: Cut (Trailer)

Maybe the jaded UK horror viewers have seen this movie already. So do chime in if you have. But here is yet another example of a horror movie using a gimmick to draw attention to itself. Nope it's not in 3D, nor does it have a viral marketing machine and it isn't a faux documentary or bill itself as "based on true events".

Nope, that's not the gimmick. The gimmick is this:

The entire movie is shot with one continuous take for 62 minutes.

I gotta admit, it does sound damn intriguing. So what's Cut all about?

Five friends return from a cocktail party to a cottage deep inside the English woods of the Peak District. Having brushed off the notion of urban legends as rubbish, never occurring in reality, our protagonist's slowly find themselves weaving through their very own horror story.

Well lets just say its a home invasion flick, one long continous home invasion flick ala The Strangers, Vacancy and Ils aka Them. I'll say this , well because it's next.

Without any cuts, it actually might work. No jump scares, no rapid edited shots of "slasher" and "victim". Then again, what are they going to fill the time with? I mean it seems like it would be boring to see the characters talk about...well EVERYTHING. How the hell are they gonna scare us without cuts? (no pun intended)

Some reviews are in and though slightly negative, the consensus is the gimmick is sorta effective. Well we'll be the judge of that. Check out the mile a minute, very much edited trailer below. What do you think? Can a gimmick like this actually work?

Categories: 2010 horror movies, home invasion movies, the strangers, them, them ils, UK horror, vacancy, vacation horror

The Strangers (Review)

The Strangers

The Strangers (2008)

Directed by Bryan Bertino

This version of yuppie torture-core is brought to you by Rogue Pictures.

Now back to your regularly scheduled program.

What you should have been watching if you wanted some yuppie torture was Ils (aka Them) which I ranked #5 on my Top 10 horror movies of 2007.

A French horror flick that had more jumpy scares and eerieness then the Strangers.

Yes the mood and the darkness set up the horror to come, but I was overly bored. Scott Speedman and Liv Tyler are just spazzy young white couple who I could give 2 shits about. The psychopaths are made to be wicked smart, like they went to the Yale of serial killer school, working the triangle offense and always being 20 steps ahead of our yuppies.

That to me is why it failed. I like my killers a little flawed. I always root for them to kill without mercy, you know take no fuckin prisoners.

But I expect them to fuck up. Give the victims a fighting chance. That's the cat and mouse game of a solid horror film. Sometimes the mouse gets away, sometimes the cat shreds the mouse up.

Didn't you all at one point wanted to see Tom totally fuck up Jerry by stabbing him repeatedly?

It all ended the same, but you really never knew did ya?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A young couple staying in an isolated vacation home are terrorized by three unknown assailants.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Let's first say Liv and Scott are both a bunch of pussies. After a botched up marriage proposal by James (Speedman) him and Kristen (Tyler) slowly get spooked by our three headed menace. We get the "stay here and hide" speech one too many times. You know Speedman is not as tough as he looks (hey this aint Underworld dude) and it's highly unlikely Liv Tyler is gonna go all Buffy here.

And then we see glimpses of our killers.

Dollface, Man in the Mask and Pin Up Girl.

These are our killers folks.

Really? Wow I was practically wetting myself when they were doing the following.

Oooooohhhh you got their phone!
That's so fuckin scary.

Oooooohhhhhh you crashed into their car with a fuckin Ford.
Why don't they just commit suicide?

Ooooooohhhh you made Speedman accidentally kill his friend.
I'm shitting bricks.

Ooooohhhhhh you smashed a radio.
You get the Jason Voorhees medal of valor.

Ooooohhhhhhh your masks are fuckin scary.
Awesome 99 cents store totally on clearance bargains!

Oooooohhhh you stab our yuppies in the stomach while their tied up.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ.

While I did admire the level of style this film has, and the killers motive of "Because you were home" is vague and utterly pointless, it still loses mucho horror points.

Remember, I'm the jaded viewer and I've seen the films you've copied from. Yeah this was written before Them but it wasn't written before fuckin Funny Games, Michael Haneke's ultra violent home invasion masterpiece (and I'm talking about the original, not the Watts/Roth American remake).

So yes, we must compare to the best home invasion horror film ever. And it doesn't even come close to the sicko fucked upness of Funny Games.

Alas, Halloween is coming up and your probably going to be looking for "scary movie". I've just listed 2 movies that you should rent or put to the top of your Netlfix queue.

If you really need your fix of yuppie toture-core, I'd bet my bloody OJ knife on those.

Gore-ipedia

Shotgun to the head
Knife to the stomach

Nude-ipedia (because you like boobies)

Some 10 secs of Liv Tyler soaking in the tub

WTF moment

Our killers unmask (though you don't see their faces)

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I just read they are making part 2. Really? Seriously?

Some horror fans love this flick, some hate it. I'm in that Facebook group of "I hate this movie".
It's good enough for 1 spinkick. It's damn lucky to get even that.

I've got high standards for the home invasion movie. If you can't live up to it, don't even try.

Rating:

The Trailer




Tags:
horror remakes, the strangers trailer , them aka ils , liv tyler, , the strangers, , the strangers review, home invasion movies, , funny games,

Categories: funny games trailer, home invasion movies, horror movies 2008, liv tyler, masked killers, scott speedman, serial killer movie, the strangers, the strangers review, the strangers trailer, them