The Best Reviews from Maggot Video

I was reading this review of the ultra fucked up Japanese nihilism film All Night Long and I came upon this section of the entry.

Prior to it receiving a DVD release with English subtitles it was heavily distributed on the Video Tape exchange circuit. The film gained a cult status amongst fans due to the films over-the-top violence and disturbing nature.

Ahhh the Video Tape Exchange circuit. Seems so fancy when you say it that way. Basically in other words, it was called horror trading. And people exchanged lists where you would trade your badly dubbed horror movies with their badly dubbed horror movies. I've documented this before.

As one of the sites that inspired this one, Gore Maggot Video was one of my go to guys to trade. Sure I know his real name, but to me and Insano Steve, he'll always be GoreMaggot. And his reviews on his list are legen....wait for it....dary.

We would trade up to 7 movies over postal mail with this guy. Insano Steve would head to Chinatown, get some VCDs, dub them and make trades. It was the ONLY way to see cult and crazy fucked up movies in the late 90s and early 00's. This died down when torrenting became crazy prevalent as well as YouTube but I still have a collection of VHS tapes from my horror trading days. Alas the irony is I have no VHS player to ever watch them again.

Maggot Video reviews sold themselves. I've collected a few below for you to enjoy but first check out. Enjoy!

I CAN DO D.V.D.'s NOW!!!!!!!!....Same prices as the videos,so let me know what you want.all titles are from international source, from one collector to another, no rights implied or given.I'm always getting new cool stuff so check back every couple of months.Thank you.

all titles come in clam-shell case with cover-art and printed disc's(with only a few exceptions).If you don't care about the color cover & case, I'll sell you as many as you want for only 8.00 $ each!

videos and D.V.D.'s are  recorded  in  SP  mode on high quality tapes & D.V.D.R's for best picture and sound quality

$10.00 per title (plus shipping, please see shipping rates)
get any 10 flicks for 80 bucks postage paid!
 
Great reviews of "Extreem" films. The spelling errors were part of the charm in my opinion.

DAS KOMABRUTALE  DUELL--WOW!!!!!! This is one sick puppy! I just got this in not too long ago ,once again ,its in German with no subs....but who gives a fuck!!!this shit rocks. This flick ranks right up there with PREMUTOS for unrelenting ultre gore and insanity.They use more fake blood in this than any flick I've seen in a long time(Maby the most ever) definatly one of the goriest flicks on this site. There is a scene where a guy sneaks up on a pregnant woman sitting on a bench in a park(I think its the broad from the picture below),he comences to kill her very brutally...then he cuts out her twin fetuses...throws them down and does a tatter masher stomp on them.This movie is sick.  HIGHLY RECOMMENDED FOR SICKO'S

Great reviews of Takashi Miike films. 

CITY OF LOST SOULS--Yet another kick ass flick by Takashi Miike(VISITOR Q) This one is an action flick on the same lines as Time & Tide but alot bloodier,plus he had a 4 million doller budget for this one and the F/X are awsome!You gotta see the CGI kung fu cock fight,it's like a MATRIX chicken fight.CRAZY!!!
 
GRAVEYARD OF HONOR—Cool Takashi Miike flick with lots of Yakuza violence ,abused women and drug induced insanity.

VISITOR Q--This is a very fucked up flick by Takashi Miike (Fudoh: A New Generation,Audition)This is his answer to GUMMO & REQUIEM FOR A DREAM.Lets just say this is the disfunctional family flick to top them all,This is way sicker than those other flicks though.If you are currently happy with your family situation,DONT! let your wife see this movie(or any of the guinea pigs for that matter 

Sometimes, you don't know the titles.

DEAD BABY DOLL (DONT KNOW THE TITLE FOR THIS ONE SO I MADE UP THIS )

I've seen this film and I agree.

DR.LAMB--Sick!sick!sick!cat.3(serial killer flick)

Sometimes he didn't have subs on his movies.

EROTIC NIGHTMARE—H/K Cat. 3 with Anthony Wong (Untold Story ,Ebola Syndrom) chinese language only. Sorry. 

MU ZAN E---THIS GROUP OF FLICKS STARTING WITH THE RED ROOM ARE PART OF A NEW LINE OF TOTALLY FUCKED UP FETISH/GORE FLICKS COMEING OUT OF JAPAN.SAID TO BE "THE NEW GUINEA PIGS" THESE FLICKS ARE WAY OVER THE TOP FUCKED UP.ALOT OF MENSTRAL FETISH SHIT IN THESE FOR SOME REASON(LIKE SUCKING A MOUTHFULL OUT & SPITTING IT OUT ALL OVER THE PLACE. SICK! THESE FLICKS ARE ABOUT AN HOUR EACH ,IN JAP. WITH NO SUBS,SORRY....PRETTY EASY TO FOLLOW THOUGH.

He used the "kick ass" alot in his reviews Which is how that phrase ended up in my reviews. 

FEMALE CONVICT SCOROION: JAILHOUSE 41----Kick ass,good quality,letterboxed,English subs(these flicks are cool,they look like they came from the same era as the babycart flicks,70's for sure.Beautifully shot..nice and violent and exploitational)

Some of his movies weren't for kids and he'd let you know. 

GAMERA 3,THE REVENGE OF IRIS--AWSOME!AWSOME1AWSOME1not for kids,blew me away!
GAMERA,GUARDIAN OF THE UNIVERSE--TOTALLY AWSOME!NOT FOR LITTLE KID'S 

We horror trader bootleggers suffered from copying the same dubbed copy over and over again and trading that shit.

ICHI THE KILLER--SUPER ULTRA GORY TAKASHI MIIKE FLICK! KILLER CGI GORE F/X ,TWISTED STORY. THE QUALITY ISNT THE BEST,BUT ITS WATCHABLE.THIS IS THE PRINT THATS GOING AROUND,IF YOU KNOW OF A BETTER PRINT THAT LET ME KNOW. HIGHLY RECOMENDED. 


Sometimes movies only needed one word reviews.
 
THE RAPE MAN- cool!
 
 And sometimes he gave you a fuckin screenplay for a review.

PSYCHO: THE SNUFF REELS aka. TUMBLING DOLL OF FLESH--Thomas Takanawa, Richard Fujimoto and Harold Akira are three lonely Japanese teens bored of their middle-classed existence. But before you can say American Pie, Bettie Hirohito enters the picture. She is young and effervescent; a robust example of youth and vivacity. “Hey guys!,” exclaims Thomas. “I’ve got my dad’s video camera. Let’s make a movie!” “What kind of movie?,” ponders Bettie. “A porn, of course,” shout all three males in unison; their wistful synchronicity and pleading eyes eventually persuading a begrudging Bettie. Harold, being the most endowed of the three plunders Betties hirsute vagina while the other boys shout words of encouragement and film the act. However, everyone knows that promiscuity and pornography lead young strays like our protagonists down a menacing path of illicit deeds and murder. And thusly, Yellow Love turns into the Slant-Eyed Slaughter. Bettie is tied down and forced to endure a bizarre mélange of physically sexual depravities. Bettie is chopped, diced and pureed into a mishmash of pulverized flesh and splintered bone. Psycho delivers a deluge of spilled blood and butchered flesh; its undertaking is another sick, but pointless endeavour where flesh is pitted against sharpened steel and as always, comes up short. While the film takes far too long to finally bombard you with some wonderfully vile acts, Psycho: The Snuff Reels is a hilarious romp that eschews typical pornography and gore motifs by combining the two styles; Psycho is a tumor rooted in Guinea Pig/Flowers Of Flesh And Blood and August Underground Mordum. It is an exciting Japanese gornography epic with a modicum of verisimilitude hindered only by annoying genital fogging.SICK!!SICK!!SICK!! Japanese language only. 


 I'll do a second part if you enjoyed this one. So who traded horror back in the day? Sound off if you did. 

Categories: gore, horror trades, horror trading lists, ichi the killer, muzane, rapeman, splatter, takashi miike

The Loved Ones (Review)

The Loved Ones

The Loved Ones (2012)

Directed by Sean Byrne

A standard horror movie runs about 90 minutes. When it runs 80 minutes you start to think "Well, it seems there were some budget concerns". But you can do a lot in 80 minutes and The Loved Ones does just that.

Released in 2009 in Australia, one can only wonder why this movie didn't get at least a theatrical release. Is it because Hollywood plans a remake? God knows they wouldn't have the balls to make it. Sean Byrne's debut film is filled with WTF moment after WTF moment, it's relentless and will make gorehounds ejaculate with glee (that's glee you perv). What it also does is pack some black humor into the mix, as the torture porn is packed with LOL bizarre moments. A "B" story also gives us some high school comedy like moments that eases our tension throughout the film.

The Loved Ones is the perfect combination of sour and sweet. One moment your seeing all  hell break bloody loose and the next you're watching the nostalgia of prom night. It's the two perspectives on a special night, one that is awkwardly normal and the other straight out of a bizarro horror world. Our protagonist Brent gets the latter and it's been a while since I openly rooted for our final guy to get his revenge served cold.

This is the movie horror fans will call a cult classic and the ones horror fans will recommend to their causal movie fan friends. Prom has always had hijinky and quirky moments. That pesky virginity has to be lost. But you also grow up on that special night. In horror terms, you survive and that's all that counts.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

When Brent turns down his classmate Lola's invitation to the prom, she concocts a wildly violent plan for revenge. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Poor Brent. He gets a case of those sad as his father dies in a car crash as Brent who was driving avoids a figure on the road. Months later, he has an overly concerned mom and a pretty hot girlfriend Holly. He also has a horndog best friend, likes Metallica and smokes weed.

Lola has not none of that. Just a crazy fucked up dad and some finger licking good chicken.

And so begins one of the best movies of 2012. Soon Lola's obsession for Brent has her having her own personal prom with Brent, her insane dad and zombiefied mom and something in the basement. It's not going to be good times for Brent as he's going to have to endure a Hostel torture endurance challenge that would make even Eli Roth squeal. In a parallel story, Brent's BFF Jaime goes to prom with Mia (a goth chick chopped full of attitude). It's this story that gives us breathers in between Brent's unfortunate events. As his girlfriend and the sheriff search for our missing final guy, it all leads to a punch in the stomach ending.

What The Loved Ones does so effectively is not take it self so seriously. It's a horror movie no doubt but the mood is a mix of 80s John Hughes high school melo-comedy if it were on bath salts. The movie is very tight. There are no scenes that seem unnecessary. Nobody goes and talks in wild tangent monologues. We get serious bang for our buck and the ride is so demented, so fucked up and so hilariously awesome you want to say why can't all horror movies be this good.

Describing The Loved Ones, you'd easily say it's about a demented wannabe prom queen who tortures her obsession. But in a way, it's got suspense thriller written all over it. In a way, it's  kidnapping plot through and through where everybody is trying to figure out where the hell did Brent go? You want him to escape (and he does have his chances) and you want him to defend himself and somehow not get as badly damaged (but he totally gets badly fuckin damaged).

The performances are pretty dead on. Xavier Samuel plays a quiet, reserved but resilient Brent. At times he goes silent, showing the pain through serious squeamish inducing interrogation scenes. The father played by John Brumpton goes outback killer daddy. Skilled with experience on making people scream. But it's Robin McLeavy as Lola aka Princess who's decked out in a pink prom dress that steals the show. She plays the sadistic serial killer perfectly, blending in kid like happys with some black humor. Clearly insane, McLeavy does a fantastic job in bringing up fucked up bitch to a whole new level.

The Loved Ones does go into arduous scenes of Hostel territory. The slice and dice torture of Brent is masterfully executed. Armed with knives and a power drill, Lola executes her fucked up torture on a soundtrack of not being pretty enough. It's the little things that give you a glimpse of how Lola's world is like Leatherface family on steroids. Her mom has been zombified, she keeps a scrapbook of her best boy toys now dead and loves milk and chicken. It's well crafted to make you hate her so that by the end, you may want to clap at her demise.

Within here are skilled WTF moments, the craziest being what the fuck is in the basement. Also, just skilled playful scenes of a boy stuck in a tree. It's the balance of black LOL humor and horrific massacre of bodily harm that works. Because when we're not seeing Brent fucked up, we follow his BFF Jaime and his prom date Mia. It's this 80s comedy throwback of stoner boy with goth-tard chick doing teenager hi jinks that balances both story lines as we watch, then connects them at the end.

So you may ask who are the loved ones? Well it seems love comes in all form from what Byrne point of view. A father to a daughter, a mom/dad to a son, a girl to a boy, a crazy sicko girl to a boy. A boy to his dog. Clearly we must decide which relationship strikes a chord the most to us and realize love can be good or it can become the evilest thing you've ever seen. 

Whatever you may think, The Loved Ones cements what I love about horror movies. Sometimes watching over an hour of hardcore horror is way too much. Intersperse it with scenes of juvenile American Pie jokes and it lessens the eye strain. The way the Loved Ones completes its plot and story arc make it feel like you watched a damn good stand alone episode of Carrie but Australian.

We'll get our prom gone all fucked up this year when Carrie goes all telekinetic, but if you want your fix now, I highly recommend you watch The Loved Ones as soon as you can. It's as good as getting a hole in your head.

Nude-ipedia

Some steamy car sex boobs

Gore-ipedia

Lots of moments Kathryn Bigelow would be proud of

WTF moment

Finding out what was in the basement

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Loved Ones is out on DVD. Check out the official site. I really do recommend this film. It's a perfect horror film that should not have been relegated to straight to DVD status when it hit American shores last year.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, australian horror, Best Horror Movies of 2012, crime thriller, gore, indie film, indie horror, prom queen, serial killer movie, splatter, splatter gore, top horror movies of 2012, torture porn

[Rec] 3 Genesis (Review)

[Rec] 3 Genesis

[Rec] 3 Genesis (2012)

Directed by Paco Plaza

Talk about a knight in shining armor and a chainsaw wedding.

Welcome to Rec 3.

I've watched the Rec series and oddly enough I've reviewed the first 2 flicks differently. Rec I gave 2 spinkicks while I gave Rec 2 3 spinkicks. With Rec 3, I'll admit the trailer had me intrigued. Zombie virus walker chaos at a wedding? Sounds like fun. And that's what Rec 3 Genesis is. Cliched, over the top splatterfest comedic fun, nothing more, nothing less.

The fact that Paco Plaza and Jaume Balaguero have split directorial duties is interesting here. With Plaza's entry we get a some gore soaked splattery AND ridiculousness that is far from the world of the serious horror of the first two. The fact that it is different and has a more horror-omedy tone is refreshing. The one thing you don't want in your series is to NOT be repetitive (See Saw). I'm pretty sure Rec was turning into the Spanish equivalent of that and I'm glad Plaza goes into some chaotic horror funnies.

But it's still cliched, generic and nothing new to the infected corpse genre. It also adds a new explanation to the mythos which I kinda didn't care for. But what I did love was a movie that utilized the shaky cam, cinema verite, 1st person POV in a way that felt natural and in the big twist of Rec 3, Plaza goes back to showing us a movie in a traditional way. Put away those barf bags.

Rec 3 Genesis is a movie refreshing enough to spike the reception's punch bowl but sometimes you want the hard stuff. It's a delicate balance that plays off in a way where at the end of the day you want to be entertained and it does just that.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A couple's wedding day turns into a horrific events as some of the guests start showing signs of a strange illness. 

Awesome Review-O-Matic

As I always do, let's start off with what the formula for shot on video, POV horror films.

1.) The camera "person" films everything
2.) His friends become part of the video
3.) Something sinister starts to scare them
4.) The film ends with "the final shot" that gets the audience shocked

1.) The camera "person" films everything

It may be the longest opening scene before the credits but at 20 minutes and the climactic shit hitting the fan, it really does set up. We see Koldo (our groom) and Clara (the bride) go through their nuptials before they head off to their reception with their families. Various characters are introduced from both respective families but drunk uncle is taken to a a whole new level and all hell breaks loose.

Koldo's cousin records everything with his HD cam while a Guillermo del Toro lookalike (from Filmmax, a hidden joke) is the videographer. As the couple splits up amid the chaos we're left with a rag tag group including "Royalties" a guest who records songs that break copyrights.

2.) His friends become part of the video

With their friends and families fleeing from the carnage, we meet a variety of Koldo's and Clara's friends but not for long. It's fun to see the douchebaggy friends, Clara's French slut friend and grandparents. We don't get to know them that well but long enough to see who starts to be the people we really should applaud when they get decapitated.

3.) Something sinister starts to scare them

Well scare wouldn't be exactly what they're doing. More like chasing after the guests like they're turkeys on legs. Mass chaos and pure splatter moments are had as necks are ripped, heads are chainsawed, swords get squishy into various body parts and all sorts of mayhem ensues.

They're are some hilarious moments as Koldo goes into knight in shining armor mode literally. He dons a Ezio Auditore outfit and does his best Assassins Creed impression. Our bride makes chainsaws sexy and does some carving of her own.

Somewhere in the movie, priests utter Bible verses and it seems the infected are more religious than we first imagined. It's these religious overtones that play a big part in the escape. I'm not sure why Plaza added this in, but I felt like it didn't really work. We got hints of it in the first 2 Recs but it was full blown here and the mystery of the infected seem to disappear.

But clearly the fun is in the reunion between man and wife and Koldo and Clara kick ass as you know, love conquers all.... 

4.) The film ends with "the final shot" that gets the audience shocked

Which leads us to a helluva ending. I'm not going to say anything about it but it's pretty shocking and crazy WTF moment.

***********************************************

Rec 3 is clearly the lull before the storm. I'm hoping  Jaume Balaguero will go all out crazy with Rec Apocalypse to end this series on a good note. Most horror fans, bloggers and critics are caught in the middle with Rec 3 as it pulls into a totally different direction than the first 2. But you have to admit, from the traditional filmmaking and the POV mixed in and a wedding day that you won't soon forget it really does pack some line dancing hilarity and oozes kegs of blood.

I think the fun in Rec 3 is mixing those two together and somehow the series feels Rec-ish but has something new to offer. At 120 minutes, it's not like we had scenes of drawn out nothingness. Everything in Rec 3 is paced with some scares and funions, the acting is delightful and the gore and splatter are plentiful.

What's not to like? Thank goodness they didn't start dancing Gangnam Style. I would have just shut the movie off right then and there.

 The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I got the jokes, the kills were solid and I may mimic that wedding one day. Thanks Rec 3.

Rating:

Check out the trailer below.

Categories: [rec], 2012 horror movies, cinema verite, gore, pov horror, rec, rec 2, rec review, spanish horror, splatter, zombies

Eli Roth's Goretorium (Review)

My travels took me to Las Vegas recently and aside from a big fight I attended and being a degenerate gambler I was able to check out the most talked about haunted house besides the one named Blackout. Eli Roth's Goretorium opened up on the Las Vegas strip in October and the premiere was as what you would expect. A who's who of stardom ranging from Roth's horror buddies to Justin Bieber. But what makes Goretorium different than a funhouse only in October is that it's year round attraction hoping to get the tourist dollar and Vegas horror fans to get their scare on.

Oddly located on the 2nd floor of mini mall, you can't help not notice the Goretorium as you walk from casino to casino on the strip. A bar is on the ready near the entrance and a horror soaked Christmas tree is ready for you to take some possible dead Santa pics. The gift shop is accessible to the masses and it's a mess of wicked Hostel themed props and propaganda. Limbs, legs, oddities and branded shot glasses are souveniers you can walk away with but the haunted house was on my radar from the start.

Clearly I should have had some liquid coverage before I went in as it would have added more to the horror high of attending a haunted house in December. As expected, there was not much of a line or crowd outside the entrance and I figured there wouldn't as people were more in a Xmas mood then a horror mood. But having met my PR contact Alex and a GM Matt, we talked briefly about what was to come. It seems I'd have to go through the HH with only Alex by my side. I should have arranged for some company but part of me wanted to have the Goretorium all to myself.

As we walked on through the entrance, it seems I had company after all in the form of a man obsessed with his phone. A bellhop explains the horrific history of a hotel and a rickety elevator starts our journey in. A fun gimmick of the evils of texting while attending a haunted house caught me off guard and I'll say it's a twist that could only come out of the mind of Eli Roth.

Roth had created a Hostel mini haunted maze for Universal Studios Haunted Horror Nights last year but Goretorium is clearly the uber amalgamation of Hostels 1 and 2 and a few more torture devices that were left on the cutting room floor. The rooms are full of the most elaborately constructed horror sets I've ever seen, equivalent to a "hot" horror set. I walked slowly from room to room hoping to take it all in and the fact nobody was in front or back of me made it 10 times better. Simple illusions were taken up a notch such as a decapitated woman's head being lifted and a torture device involving a wooden grinder machine activated by me seemingly showing a man get grounded into pieces. Lots of old school effects  had me doing double takes and I'll admit, I was dumbfounded trying to figure out how these were all pulled off.

The actors who I had thought would not give any energy in their performances were actually quite at the top of their game. They interacted with me to the fullest extent, answering my questions directly, and redirecting my sarcastic remarks with some of their own. This was amplified when I met a sarcastic bartender who kept spewing out dirty drink names with various combinations. As I pushed him to keep going, he was a Wikipedia of answers giving me Long Island Tea Baggers and such. It's the type of humor that breaks the monotony of jump scares.

The rooms were quite Hollywood-tastic. Animatronics are at a minimal and the CGI is useful where it should be. Chainsaws, body parts and all hub of torture devices are on display to get you to piss in your pants. Various women and men are in all sorts of levels of being eaten, killed and exterminated. This all climaxes at Vegas style wedding set in a chapel and reception. Walking through the aisle, I see a bride and groom on the cusp of saying their vows with a preacher when all hell breaks loose. Suffice it to say I was sprayed with some bloody arterial spraying. The reception was an orgy of zombie like actors feasting on wedding guests. The food covered in CGI maggots and it clearly was a satisfying climax to a haunted house that lasts about 20-25 minutes.


Aside from the HH, there is a great bar called the Baby Dolls Lounge that gives an awesome view of the strip. The drink specials all have horror themes such as Eli Roth's blood which I tried out. There is nothing like ending a haunted house acid trip with some yummy alcoholic beverages.

All in all, I'd have to say I had a fun time checking out the Goretorium. Roth and CEO Robert Frey have a pure home in Vegas and with an agenda of changing themes (be it Christmas, New Years and Valentine's Day)  it seems it will be a main stay for years to come. It's quite a challenge to be a year round horror themed attraction but Vegas could use some fear and scares along with their magic acts and death defying circus attractions.

With Roth's horror intellect, they have created a movie studio equivalent of visiting the sets that made Hostel memorable. If gore, torture and mind baffling effects are your idea of fun, the Goretorium is a must see. The actors I was told are true fans of the genre, who want to amplify the thrills and chills for every brave tourist who enters. From the macabre, to the freaks and geeks, to the horror fan everyman, Eli Roth's Goretorium caters to a variety of horror fandom. It's a gorehound's wet dream come to life, something Eli Roth probably had in mind.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Like Eli Roth's Goretorium on Facebook
• Follow on Twitter
• Eli Roth's Goretorium is located on the Northeast corner of HARMON and LAS VEGAS BLVD.
  3717 Las Vegas Blvd. South on the second level
• Tickets are $29.95.
  
• For more photos of Goretorium, check out the jaded viewer Facebook page.
• Special Thanks to the Alex and the management team for making me welcome and for an awesome time!

Check out the trailer.

Categories: eli roth, gore, goretorium, haunted house, hostel, las vegas, splatter, torture porn

Watch The Taint Right Now Online!

Director Drew Bolduc has informed me his awesome flick The Taint (see full review here) is now available for FREE this week. It really is one fucked up crazy flick. As I wrote in my review....


If you're inner gorehound needs to be fed and if you're inner misogynist needs to be jerked off I highly recommend The Taint. You won't be disappointed by this throwback 80s splatterfest.

 Watch the film below and be mesmerized by exploding dicks!





 The Taint (Full Movie) from Dan Nelson on Vimeo.

Categories: 2010 horror movies, cheesy, exploitation, exploitation film, gore, indie horror, splatter, splatter gore, the taint, top splatter movies, troma films

The Raid Redemption (Review)

The Raid: Redemption

The Raid: Redemption (2012)

Directed by Gareth Evans

After seeing The Raid, I tweeted this:

@TheRaidUS is the equivalent of seeing a 100 car pile up, head on collisions and fiery mushroom cloud explosions. It's fuckin awesome

It's rare to see an action movie that says, fuck the characters and the plot! We're not going to waste time developing our characters or explaining the plot. Instead, we're going to give you non stop action for well over 100 minutes and it's going to be some of the most insane stuff you have seen in a while.

Remember when you first mesmerized by Tony Jaa in Ong Bak? Well The Raid is Ong Bak on fuckin steroids and fully armed with nuclear explosives. It's bar none the best action movie I've seen in the past decade.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

The plot is simple. SWAT Team are told they have to take out a ruthless crime lord in an old tenement building. The building is heavily guarded by 1-800 Henchmen and house lowlifes, thugs, addicts and pieces of shit. It also has a few good Samaritans who our remaining cops will meet later. All you need to know is humans with lady parts are at a minimum. You're going to see glorious violence in a Just Dance choreography that is pure awesomeness.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I said it would revolutionize the action movie and I wasn't wrong. You may not know the name Iko Uwais but you will after seeing The Raid. Move over Tony Jaa, your 15 minutes are up. I first saw Uwais in Merantau, Gareth Evans first flick featuring Silat Harimau the Indonesian martial art. I'll admit, it had some stellar action scenes but it was full of boring drab plot and story and had staged action scenes that seem to appear out of nowhere.

But The Raid is floor after floor of non stop Silat in closed quarters, rooms with many breakable objects and ferocity of throwing your enemy against the wall numerous times. Uwais is a skilled tactician playing our hero cop and the synchronized ballet of Silat on Silat violence via endless henchmen are a sight you won't fuckin forget.

The man who steals the show however is Yayan Ruhian who plays Mad Dog. Dude is like the Nate Robinson of the film. He's barely 5'8 from the looks of it but his Silat skills are fuckin stellar. In the penultimate scene, he battles Uwais and his "partner" in well over 15 minutes display of kicks, blocks, punches, blocks and gallery of lightning quick Silat-o-pedia of moves.

And don't get me started by the point blank violence. Holy fuckin shit. Here are things I've never seen before:

• Execution of 4 men via point blank gunshots to the head (and one via hammer)
• Silat battle ending in multiple gunshots to the face
• Machete wielding fight scene
• Rude Awakening neck breakers

I mean check this scene out.

This is a badass flick that destroys all semblance of what action porn should be. It defies the genre by be unrelenting and ferocious. It doesn't apologize, it says FUCK YOU and gives you more of what you want. It has moments of pure suspense and anxiety then delivers one screaming kick after the other.

The Raid Redemption is the one action movie you need to see this year. Gone is Thai action. Indonesia is the king of action and Gareth Evans and Iko Uwais are sitting on the throne.

Nude-ipedia

Puhlease.

Gore-ipedia

Mucho gun trauma
Mucho broken bones trauma
Mucho head, arms, legs trauma

WTF moment

Uwais takes on EVERYBODY!!!!

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

The Raid is out now in limited theaters. It's a must see, no ifs or ands about it. It's the pinnacle of the modern day action flick. It's why it's getting a release here. The Raid may have been overshadowed by that movie with kids killing kids, but leave it up to the adults to give us grown up violence.

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: action cinema, bloody violence, crime thriller, gore, guns, indonesia action movie, kung fu, martial arts, merantau, merantau trailer, splatter, the raid redemption

The Summer of Massacre (Review)

The Summer of Massacre

The Summer of Massacre (2011)

Directed by Joe Castro

Well that sucked.

Back in the day, I would search out for the most fucked up, goriest, splattered fill horror movies out in the underground. I soon stumbled upon German splatter like Ittenbach's Burning Moon or Schnaas Violent Shit trilogy. I would get excited when I'd get my hands on this type of movie because I'd see unrated gore and splatter in all it's 8th generation dubbed glory.

Those movies did it old school. Old school tubes, animal intestines and red faux blood to create those effects. Sure they were balloons filled with red dye and such but it looked awesome. Well those days are long gone unfortunately.

Today we get shit like The Summer of Massacre. A movie whose sole premise is that it holds the Guinness Book of World Records for the Highest Body Count in a slasher film at 155. To get this record it fills 1 hour and 37 minutes with HORRIBLY BAD CGI KILLS. And I don't mean these were Romero like CGI, I mean this is MS Paint bad CGI. It's the equivalent of super transposed 16 bit Genesis graphics on top of the movie. Atari had better graphics than this film.

It's technically an anthology with self contained stories about a mad killer on the loose, some grotesque handicapped kid, killer father back from the dead to torment his son, camp kids killed by mutant firemen and serial killers with a nuke. It's not as cool as it sounds. Bad acting, bad makeup effects, bad stories and utterly fuckin shitty CGI kills. Sliced necks, ankles, necks, etc. Bullet would deaths. A whole level of stupid gross shit. I could list shit but honestly I don't even remember. This is pretty much the worst horror movie I've seen in the last 10 years. And trust me, I've seen a lot of bad ones.

I just can't stand movies who use CGI in their horror these days. I'm an old school guy with a throwback to the grind mentality. I'm pretty sure it's necessary at times but I like seeing the vicious realism of trauma. It's what I grew up watching and I appreciate the effort by the filmmakers when they go this route.

The Summer of Massacre is a crappy induced diarrhea mess of a film. I'd rather have my eyes gouged by hot pokers than see this film again. I'd rather be eaten alive by cannibals and shown by beating heart than see this film again. I'd rather have all my arms and legs chopped off and placed in a wooden box buried alive than see this film again.

The scary part is all those scenes are going to probably be in the sequel in really fuckin bad CGI.

Sonnuva-fuck.

Rating:
0 spinkicks

Check out the trailer below.

Categories: 2012 horror movies, breaking glass pictures, gore, indie horror, splatter, splatter gore, splatterpunk, top gore movies, underground horror

Savage County (Review)

Savage County

Savage County (TV 2010)

Directed by David Harris

[this review is from The Jaded Viewer 2 DVD Giveaway Winner Kim K. She suffered through these awful flicks like a real soldier and for that I'm giving her a honorary jaded viewer gold star of awesomeness]

I was warned - these movies won’t be making any "best of" lists. Watching them was a test of will. I have a short attention span. I'm rating them not by spinkicks, but by how many failed attempts it took me to actually sit down with the movie long enough to watch until the end.

"Savage County"

David Harris is a first time director & this was a low budget, direct-to-video production. I have a soft spot for new artists trying to get an edge in, even if I’m not a fan; and judging by their Facebook page, he does have a following, which he is clearly catering toward. If you’re an 11-15 year old who is new to the horror genre & enjoyed the web series this was a spin-off from - you could potentially love this movie. It is the training bra of horror.

The plot follows a group of high school students about to graduate as they road trip out into the countryside one last time. When a prank goes wrong, the kids accidentally kill the eldest of a family of creepy homicidal hillbillies. Creepy hillbillies get pissed. Storyline marches forward into a watered down version of some of the most familiar (and successful) horror themes we know and love. (See: Deliverance, Texas Chainsaw, Hills Have Eyes, Wrong Turn, House of 1000 Corpses etc etc)

‘Recycled’ doesn’t necessarily resign a movie to a fate of suckage. When you’re playing to human fear, there are only so many threads to explore. Filmmakers in the genre build on and borrow from each other almost as a rule. But you’d better add something original to make it stick in people’s heads if you’re going that route. The fact that one of the hillbillies vaguely resembles Willie Nelson is not enough for me

As for the kids, we’ve got a small group of token everything out in this cornfield. The jocks, the cheerleader, the “good girl”, the punky loner, the nerd, the black kid. All of these stereotypes hung out together in your school too, right? There is one particularly useless girl back at base, whose sole job seems to be talking into a webcam and cueing awful music. The movie keeps awkwardly cutting back to her and it was precisely these moments that made me wonder if I needed to take another break.

The plot unfolds. Kids freak out after the accidental murder. Split up. Make one stupid decision after another. Cops get involved. Oops - cops are sided with the hillbillies. Hillbillies torture and pick off kids. The script remains one dimensional, and ends predictably while still leaving loose ends (I fear a sequel’s in the works); yet for a tween slasher-flick, it delivers what is expected and is certainly not the worst ever made. Though it did leave me feeling mildly lobotomized.

I rate this movie: 3 failed attempts.

Check out the trailer. I doubt you'll last :30 secs before you stop watching.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, gore, guest review, hillbillies, rednecks, savage, slasher films, slashers, splatter

Dream Home (Review)

Dream Home

Dream Home (2011 - USA)

Directed by Ho-Cheung Pang

I take pride in watching Category III Hong Kong flicks. I loved the Anthony Wong driven The Ebola Syndrome and Dr. Lamb, video nasties that were fucked up beyond recognition. So it's been a while since I've seen a Cat 3 HK flick but having seen Dream Home litter a few best of 2011 lists, I knew I had to seek this beauty out.

And what did it do? It slaughtered a few of the other flicks from my 10 story top 10 list and moved right into the building (see what I did there?) Dream Home is an uber slasher exploitation film that not only will make inner gorehounds FAP but make the intellectual cinephile think and FAP as well. Rarely does a Cat 3 make you think. Usually you think you're gonna watch some vicious kills and see some boobies. But with a stellar performance by Josie Ho and director Ho-Cheung Pang satirizing the desire for the have nots to have at any costs, it's a tour de kill slasher film of 2011.

Dream Home does suffer with issues with realism, the kills are somewhat comic bookey and there is a serious issue with the use of flashbacks that may confuse some viewers. A subplot of affairs and pacing issues also hurts the film a bit as does the super strength of our uber killer. But all that aside, Cat 3 HK flicks have always had a bit of slapstick and oddness about them that makes them mesmerizing to watch.

Dream Home is my dream movie. Fuck yeah.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Cheng Li-sheung is a young, upwardly mobile professional finally ready to invest in her first home. But when the deal falls through, she is forced to keep her dream alive - even if it means keeping her would-be neighbors dead.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

Let's break this down movie down by different sections of an apartment building.

The Lobby

Cheing Lai (Josie Ho) works as a telemarketer for a bank around 2007. She's a regular office drone leading a typical life (working 2 other jobs, taking care of her father and brother, being a mistress and whoring it...you know typical shit). However, she has a dream. She wants to live in an apartment looking over the ocean bay of Hong Kong. Despite her lack of funds to buy this apartment she is willing to do anything to make her dream come true.

It's not everyday a movie opens with some suffocation via plastic bag and plastic handcuff restraints. With Dream Home, you get sucked in and the movie starts to establish a pattern of Cheing Lai going to slasher school while we also get flashbacks of her life as a child which establish her motivations for what happens in the present.

The Living Room

Soon we start seeing our girl in action as she slaughters her would be neighbors all in one night. The odd part of this is I usually root for the slasher and was kinda mystified by my lack of cheering as it seems silly to kill your potential neighbors to bring the price down of an apartment. But the slaughter is magnificio! Our first kill scenes revolve around a pregnant woman who is brilliantly suffocated via suction (you gotta see this shit...fuckin crazy...see below)





....and the old reliable ocular trauma makes a cameo. But as the movie went on, Cheing Lai showed she was vulnerable, getting wounded in the midst of her battles and though we shouldn't empathize with a cold blooded killer, I was hoping she'd be OK.

Maybe it's because she's a woman but oh have Cat 3 flicks changed. Cheing Lai rivals Anthony Wong's throne of being the hardcore of hardcore slashers.

The Kitchen

I mentioned previously the movie employs ill timed flashbacks. First with Cheing Lai as a little girl whose family has to deal with being forcibly removed from their apartment by Triads working for greedy developers. Later she sees the plight of her family and the tole of her dad being sick and not being covered by health insurance.

The flashbacks show up without any notice and sometimes I got lost in where I was. Early on years were subtitled in but it's a bit confusing as one can't tell where we are with the story. I'll say the flashbacks do give you a glimpse of our slashereta's motivations of why this apartment by the sea is so important. Sure it's not justification to kill people but for a crazy insano like Cheing Lai, I guess it is.

The Bedroom

Ahh the bedroom, because that's where the good action all takes place. Cheing Lai's best kills when she home invades a group of Chinese hipsters, whores and drug dealer. The movie climaxes in the kill scenes here with a variety of creative kills ranging from intestine spillage, toilet trauma, glass beaker neck stabbings and wood to mouth Fangoria approved slaughter. And some J. Bobbitt. Because's what's a slasher movie without a penis trauma right?

It's a testament to non CGI-ness of it all. Cheing Lai also gets some luck to get out of the mess she's been in as the cops want to bust in and stop the madness. It's this ridiculousness that makes Dream Home a little fantastic. Can a dude still smoke a joint while his intestines are all over the floor? Dream Home says yes.

The Patio

With all this fuckin awesome slaughter, the movie poses a few ideas about why our mistress of slasher-dom does what she does. The movie satirizes what one is willing to do to buy her own home which in turns plays out the notion of how the housing crisis evolved. Sure Cheing Lai goes the fuckin beserk route to get the price down by the real estate agent by murdering a bunch of people in the building but in retrospect the working class, even the poor are willing to do what it takes to own their own home thus taking those shady deals from the Fannie Mays and other home brokerage companies. Should they have known better? Of course. But somebody should have told them it was wrong. These companies didn't.

As the flashbacks indicate, the HK government seemed to conspire with the mob and real estate developers to remove poor people from their homes in order to replace them with luxury high rises. It seems we can then conclude that the movie was implying that the working class wanted what was originally theirs. Cheing Lai is the embodiment of that.

The movie ends in irony and it's pretty obvious that nobody will live happily ever after. But what Dream Home establishes is a why in the midst of the chaos. The slasher genocides these people for her own selfish reasons but in a way the movie wants us to ignore that she's killed innocent people and empathize with her working class background.

Dream Home is intelligently designed to be an effective satire and an uber bloody and gory slasher which is to say, not an easy thing to do. Ho drives the movie, her performance yings to a woman who has lived harshly than yangs to her being a vicious, cold blooded motherfuckin killer.

I have not seen a HK Cat 3 movie that's left an impact this much like Dream Home. I think I've grown as a horror fan in that I'm not easily glamoured by wicked gore or spectacular splatter anymore. I expect my wickedly gory and spectacular splatter slasher flicks to say something about the world I live in.

Dream Home does just that.


Nude-ipedia

Whores show boobies
Simulated sex and BJs
I love Cat 3 nudity!

Gore-ipedia

See my descriptions above
So much awesomeness and creative kills, it should go into the Hall of Fame

WTF moment

The whore gets floor boarded

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Dream Home came out in Hong Kong in 2010 but was released in NA and EU in 2011. It's available on DVD via IFC Midnight. Rarely does one see a Cat 3 film and say that it's thought provoking. Usually I go and say that shit was hilariously fucked up. I can proudly say that it's both!

Rating:


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, anthony wong, category 3, china, dream home, gore, hong kong, slasher films, slashers, slice and dice, splatter, splatter gore, top splatter movies

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (Insano Steve Review)

[this review brought to you by Insano Steve, who after a long hiatus was forced at gunpoint to write his thoughts after seeing Tox Six's The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence]

Rather than give a full review of Human Centipede 2, I thought I'd go through some things that I liked about the movie, and some that I didn't. In honor of the centipede, I broke it down into 10 good and 10 bad things.

Good

1. The gore and special effects are excellent. Much more so than the original.
2. The killer is a fat slob, who is mute, asthmatic, and retarded. Unconventional!
3. The shameless flashbacks to the first part were (un) intentionally hilarious.
4. A character from the first part miraculously returns!
5. More feces than you will ever see, or would want to see.
6. Lacking medical knowledge, our new "doctor" uses household tools.
7. Watching a lady, who didn't know better, leave the theater in disgust.
8. An actual centipede attacks and maims an old woman. Symbolism!
9. Gratuitous prenatal infant trauma. And postnatal trauma.
10. The use of laxatives as a plot catalyst!
    

Bad

1. The whole movie is in black and white. It mutes the effect of the blood/guts.
2. There's no actual plot. No attempt to explain. No attempt to attempt.
3. Like 10 scenes of the fat slob using an inhaler. He has asthma. OK, we get it.
4. Seeing the fat slob wearing a thong walk around the house. Not good times.
5. Sorry, but seeing a room drenched in blood and feces needs to be in color!
6. The acting was horrible. Even when you consider the low expectations.
7. A little shit eating really goes a long way.
8. I'm starting to think that maybe this isn't all "100% medically accurate".
9. All of the boring non-centipede related murders.
10. Black and white might've been an attempt at art. This shit ain't art. This shit is shit.
    

And there you have it, a movie that delivers all the over the top decadence you hoped for. And literally nothing more than that. Grading on a curve....

Rating:
1/2

Here are more photos via UGO.com

Categories: 2011 horror movies, gore, indie horror, serial killer movie, splatter, splatter gore, the human centipede, the human centipede photos, the human centipede trailer, tom six, underground splatter

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence) (Review)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

The Human Centipede 2 (Full Sequence)

Directed by Tom Six

Sometimes your poop comes in pellet form, other times you need to set up a level 10 quarantine. It's these rather crude analogies that I've conjured up that equate themselves to the original and sequel for The Human Centipede . After eating a burrito, sometimes you fear the worst and sometimes that trip to the bathroom turns out not as bad as you thought it would be. That's what I thought of Tom Six's original.

The Human Centipede 2 is not a good film by any means but its like a newborn's dirty diaper....you get a hell of a surprise. Devoid of any decent plot, a psychopath that is a couple of deadly sins incarnate (think sloth) and 100% medically inaccurate, its a film that is a big "FUCK YOU" by Tom Six for anybody who claimed the original didn't go over the edge. I wrote in my original review: "I'd like to have seen it go over the edge and go into the realm of uncharted super duper uber fuckedupness"

Well Tom Six does exactly that. He should have taken elements from the original and mix in the fuckedupness in this film. But instead he goes waaaaay over the top in an artsy fartsy black and white splatter film and chooses to not give one single fuck about characters, plot and an antagonist we can fear or even be remotely memorable.

Sure the Human Centipede 2 makes 2 Girls, 1 Cup look like a Disney film, but at what cost?

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Martin is a mentally disturbed loner who lives with his mother in a bleak housing project. He works the night shift as a security guard in an equally grim and foreboding underground parking complex. To escape his dreary existence, Martin loses himself in the fantasy world of the cult horror film The Human Centipede (First Sequence), fetishizing the meticulous surgical skills of the gifted Dr. Heiter, whose knowledge of the human gastrointestinal system inspires Martin to attempt the unthinkable.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

The beauty of the original was the ridiculousness of Dr. Heiter and his obsessiveness to create a human centipede. Dieter Laser's performance was incredible and his "Feed her!" line will be uttered by horror fans for years to come. But our main sociopath, a mute and obese Brit named Martin is such a disappointment, one can only think that this is what Tom Six thinks of the hardcore horror fan. This fat penguin man, who is obsessed with Six's original film decides to go and make a 12 man centipede where the lovely Ashlynn Yennie will form the head (she's like the black Lion in this fucked up Voltron).

Working at a parking garage, his victims come in all forms from happily married couple, drunk party girls, a pregnant woman, random hooligans and a few other unfortunates that Martin encounters. He's a victim of sexual abuse via his father and his mom begs to have their angry neighbor "kill them both". The family doctor is as degenerate as Martin and makes an appearance as a ro-beast.

The movie is as predictable as your run of the mill slasher. Martin watches the original, jerks off, feeds his pet centipede (yes you read that right he has a pet centipede) stalks his victims and kills. Lather, rinse and repeat. It's the same old shit for like an hour. Six decides this meta-verse is him being crazy fuckin clever (he's not). That's not to say our mute Martin doesn't make a few intentional ha ha's. His excited cheering during the "feed her!" scene as he rewatches the classic and a few phone calls from a casting agent give us winks to the audience's knowledge of part 1. Martin is a walking grotesque, a child with a loaded gun that enjoys inflicting harm for his obsession. He's his own Dr. Frankenstein and squeals with glee as he shapes his very own human centipede but the only thing WE the audience care about is seeing his creation.

And that's why you have to watch an hour of this film to see it. And it's like seeing a Rorschach test made of human feces. Your only reason for sitting through this film is to see the fuckin full sequence. 3 was not enough for us. We want 6...no we want 9...how about 12!

Where the original had Dr. Heiter use a clean sterile environment and had medical precision for his experiment, Martin uses a dirty, filthy abandoned warehouse complete with rusty tools for his operation. And here comes the Gore-ipedia. Sliced knee tendons, really bad dental surgery, tongue trauma, staple gun frenzy and a lot of duck tape. The splatter and gore are at its peak and they are making gorehounds rejoice. It's not until we get to Martin's own "Feed her!" scene do we get to fuckedupness levels of fuckedupness. It's LITERALLY shit in motion. Even Martin's comeuppance at the end is a level of the surreal and definitely 100% medically IN-accurate.

The Human Centipede 2 is a competitive horror viewing contest. The original was easy to stomach, participants easily digested everything they took in. But HC2 is seeing a dude eat beyond his capacity and then vomit it all up. Do you really want to see that shit?

I'm not buying into any theory that HC2 has some underlying meaning in it. I firmly believe Tom Six was responding to all of us who LOVED the original or HATED it but both sides agreed it didn't go over the line of what it was advertised to be. But this time he delivers a disgusting, gore soaked and diarrhea of a film that has none of the awesomeness of what made the original so memorable.

All that's left to do after watching The Human Centipede 2 is to flush the toilet.

Nude-ipedia

A few boobs and ass via our victims
Martin's shirtless obesity made me throw up in my mouth a little

Gore-ipedia

See above labeled Gore-ipedia

WTF moment

Martin's comeuppance

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

I'm giving HC2 2 spinkicks. It's not a good movie like I said but it's got scenes that I'll admit leave a damn fucked up imprint in your mind. I did laugh a few times because of the ridiculousness of it all but those LOLs were few and far in between. I had HC2 as the #1 Remaining Best of the Rest Horror Movies of 2011. What can I say? I got caught up in the hype.

The Human Centipede 2 is being distributed by IFC Films and will get a theatrical release on October 7th.

The Vitals

• Facebook Page
  

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, gore, indie horror, serial killer movie, splatter, splatter gore, the human centipede, the human centipede photos, the human centipede trailer, tom six, underground splatter

Sweatshop (Review)

Sweatshop

Sweatshop (2009)

Directed by Stacy Davidson

"It's always the quiet ones that cut your dick off while you're not looking"

-Token black guy DJ

It's rare to see a film that takes the slasher formula and hammers in the gore relentlessly. If there is one thing that nails this down, it's Sweatshop, a splatter soaked gore-o-thon that gives us sex, beats and a big fuckin sledgehammer.

Director Stacy Davidson and writer Ted Geoghegan clearly went for the jugular in this film. I'll get to the gore in a second but the cast of characters who we'll get to meet are the anti-Hollywood Hollister/American Eagle bunch of white people. They're ravers/punk rockers/crustycore motley crew sorta bunch and kudos to the costume department for making them all stand out in their own way.

A few plot points are scattered around, a few LOLs dabbled in but the gorehounds will rejoice when "The Beast" and his banshee she-demons get their kill on. It's the gore and splatter that drives Sweatshop, make no doubt about it. It's not reinventing the slasher genre but it's making sure the definition is being 100% adhered to.

Sweatshop's The Beast is a slasher even Thor would be scared of.

Boring Plot-O-Matic

A group of friends break into an abandoned factory in order to throw a impromptu party; unaware that it is not as empty as they originally believed.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I review every slasher flickwith my handy jaded viewer slasher checklist. Below is a list of what we here at the jaded viewer deem as full of chunky gooiness when it comes to the ingredients of a solid slasher-palooza.

Does Sweatshop achieve everything on this list?

1.) Does the movie have..... a mysterious, insanely strong, ridiculed as a child, deformed, inbred redneck slasher?

Check. The Beast's backstory is never told, we don't even know why he wants to kill these glow stick motherfuckers. He's got a pimp fur coat and a welding mask and his fuckin large...like Butterbean large. I'm going to assume he's an inbred redneck as that's what I always assume.

2.) Gratuitous, over the top, super fleshy nudity?

Definite check. The raver-tastic Krystal Freeman who plays Lolli shows us her lovely lovelies (that's boobs) and it's mucho fantastico. Top it off with a sex scene with a fat guy and..... ::shivers::

3.) Stereotypical teenage caricatures who die gruesome and horrific over the top deaths?

Check. Clearly there's a final girl in here somewhere. We have Charlie, the greedy raver in charge, Scottyboy the mohawk sex fiend, Wade the hillbilly, Jade the malicious vixen, Lolli the slut, Miko the other slut and a token black DJ.

4.) No Plot?

Check. Kids have a rave in an abandoned warehouse where a Thor envy slasher kills them. What more you want?

5.) Kills by our slasher that make you go "Fuck yeah!"

Check. I'll say that they went old school with this one.

6.) Gore, lots of it. Like serious decapitation, dismemberment, impalement, hammer frenzy steroid rages and blood shooting out at various penetration wounds, limbs a flailing and mindless splatter and mayhem?

Check. Top notch over the top gore in this one. Severed heads via a hedge clipper, sliced heads via machetes, entrails and intestines ripped out and many many many splatter inducing, modified sledge hammer wallops that result in pancake ravers. Ocular trauma, penis trauma, hand trauma, neck trauma...there be a whole shitload of fuckin trauma in this.

7.) Geeky leader who takes charge of the hapless group as they try to escape who befriends a hot girl who knows about the "legend" (there's always a legend no one believes)

Nope. Nothing. Nada. Nobody really takes charge. Everybody fends for themselves. Bunch of savages in this town.

8.) Funny yet ill timed dialogue but also various quips and one liners that are funny only the first time around (yet somehow funny again when you buy the DVD and only when you're stoned)

There are a few jokes that made me chuckle but overall it's the final rave scene at the end where The Beast goes exterminator on the raver "roaches" that had me laughing.

9.) Gratuitous cameos by actors who have portrayed horror legends (Candyman, Freddy Kreuger and Jason Voorhees) that make you flash a metal sign and do the Beavis and Butthead pseudo head nodding.

Nope.

10.) Wildly ambiguous ending that can be used to warrant a sequel?

Check.

************************************************************

Sweatshop isn't the most creative slasher movie but it's the most bloodiest one I've seen in a while. It's got its gimmicks (ravers doing ravy things) and a masked slasher with a weapon that would make Jason Voorhees jealous. The characters are your standard cardboard cutouts of not white teen suburbia but cutouts of what we think ravers dress and act like. I mean they had them drinking and smoking weed...but not doing meth or taking E? WTF?

By the end of the first hour, the body count is quite high and your waiting to see what the hell will happen in the final 30. And I'll admit it doesn't disappoint. It's a crazy gore soaked ending.

I've always said that if you have gratuitous nudity, some semi interesting characters and a formidable killing machine, you've made a decent slasher film in my book.

You may not have expected it, but Sweatshop cuts off a good solid dick.

Gore-ipedia

See checklist item #6

Nude-ipedia

Gratuitous nudity at its most gratuitous

WTF moment

That hammer is seriously pimped out

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

Sweatshop is being distributed via Screen Media Films and was released on DVD September 13th. Sarah Jahier of Fatally Yours has a quote on the DVD box (which peaked my interest in watching this) and a Bloody Disgusting and Dread Central gave good reviews.

The Vitals

• The official site
• Like Sweatshop on Facebook!
• Follow Sweatshop on Twitter!
  

Rating:
1/2


Check out the trailer.

Categories: 2011 horror movies, 80s horror, 80s slasher horror, gore, indepentent horror, indie horror, slasher films, slashers, splatter, splatter gore, top gore movies, top splatter movies