T.M.A. aka Darkness (Review)

T.M.A. (The Missing Address) aka Darkness

T.M.A. (The Missing Address) aka Darkness (2009)

Directed by Juraj Herz

What the hell is this?

I'm not sure what I watched but I have to say it wasn't good. I haven't watched many Czech horror films...actually I haven't watched any as far as I can recall but when Darkness was dropped into my lap courtesy of Breaking Glass Pictures, I figured Id get get an education on what Czech films we're all about.

I think this was a lesson I could have done without.

Darkness aka T.M.A is a cliched ridden haunted house story full of so many multiple plots that I had no idea what was going on. Well I think it was a haunted house/poltergeist story. At times Darkness turned into a locals have a secret flick than a Nazi atrocities movie. Who knows?

I had to watch this over the course of 3 days as I was getting bored every 20 minutes. That's how irritating this film was. I mean seriously, the film had one death in the entire thing. ONE!

Boring Plot-O-Matic

Weary of his rock-and-roll lifestyle as a successful musician, Marek takes time off to live in the country home of his childhood so he can pursue his hobby of painting. Unfortunately, the old, forgotten manor offers anything but peace and quiet. Haunted by strange noises and vivid childhood memories, Marek soon senses hes living in the midst of a dark presence.

With the help of Lucia, a sweet girl from the nearby town, Marek embarks on a journey to unearth the houses sordid past and historic ties to the Nazi occupation. As he delves deeper into the houses secrets, Marek finds himself wondering whether the ghostly occurrences are a product of the house or his own troubled sub-conscious.

Thanks to expert storytelling and a gorgeous, brooding aesthetic Darkness pulls the audience into a riveting mystery that shakes a layer of dust off the classic ghost story genre.

Awesome Review-O-Matic

I'm not sure how I can even explain the plot here. Marek a musician/painter heads to his childhood home to paint. But his childhood home is chock full of evil lore. Soon weird shit happens and we get a full on cliche-o-rama which includes:

• Secluded house in the middle of nowhere
• Angry, suspicious locals
• Mysterious light flickering
• Mysterious children singing
• Mysterious nightmare dreaming
• The local who befriends the stranger
• Gratuitous sex scene
• Retarded kids
• Nazis atrocities?!?!
• Flashbacks to fill in the gaps
• Gratuitous leg amputation
• Ocular trauma
  
• One death
• Abrupt ending

See? Mucho cliches. Darkness has some eerie scenes (but nothing I'm writing Blood Disgusting about) but it's mostly full of scenes involving Marek trying to figure out what the hell is going on. I don't know what passes as a horror film in the Czech Republic, but I'm not going to find out.

Many countries take the ghost story seriously and put it into their films. In the case of Darkness, its a blend of sibling drama and ghosts of retarded kids....oops I mean mentally challenged Nazis....err I mean retarded kids who tortured Nazis. Forget it, it doesn't matter. Sure there's some boobage and a few gore scenes interspersed throughout but that's like seeing a side boob in a porn movie. Did that even make sense? No? Just like this movie.

So what did I learn from my first ever Czech horror movie?

Nazis are evil in every country.

Nude-ipedia

Some full frontal European chubby babes
Skinemax sex scene


Gore-ipedia

Leg amputation
Ocular trauma

WTF moment

I have to admit, the lullaby the dead children kept singing got stuck in my head...."Augustin Augustin...." Dammit!

The Jaded Viewer's Final Prognosis

For more information, you can head over to Breaking Glass Pictures. The movie gets released on DVD on September 7th. Breaking Glass Pictures has been bringing American indies as well as international indie flicks to American audiences. Sometimes they bring awesomeness like Easter Bunny, Kill! Kill! Other times, we get vampire lesbians.

Hopefully another gem gets dropped in my lap the next time.

Rating:
Check out the trailer below.