I wrote on my Facebook page:Everybody should calm down and stop being elitist horror fans for a sec because you saw Battle Royale. How about the fans who READ the book? They're more hipster than the ppl who saw the movie. But they better not make a film about Ennis Preacher or I'm gonna bust heads....
Well don't I sound all fuckin hipserish right??? It got me thinking that we horror fans say and do some hipsterish things (sometimes we realize it, sometimes we don't). Oh I do them too, don't get me wrong. But when you think of horror fans in their late 20s, early 30s and older there is a level between these age gaps that have them acting like the vile Williamsburg scum we all despise. We are all guilty. Girls, that dark eyeliner is horror hipster-nista. Dudes, that beard you're growing? Alpha hipster. Here are few of the things I notice. I'm gonna get shit from this I know. Fuck.
1.) Anything made in the 70s and 80s is a fuckin cult classic
Remember, millennials think Scream is a cult classic and that was made in the 90s.
2.) We tell noobs to see the originals before the remakes
Sure Hollywood bastardizes the originals but some of our "originals" are remakes too.
3.) We're too good to see a movie based on a bestseller because we saw a cult movie based on a cult best seller
What could I be talking about?
4.) We all wear ironic horror t-shirts with humorish text or 80s slasher nostalgia
Yup I own a few of these Fright Rags.
5.) We constantly refer to Cannibal Holocaust and Blair Witch Project as the best found footage flicks. Everything else sucks.
Many of you will disagree with this. I just want another cannibal movie.
6.) We rage when Hollywood skull fucks our childhood by remaking horror movies, yet we go en masse and see these shitty movies
How ironic right?
7.) We all have horror blogs
I just called myself a horror hipster douche bag. I'm a sonnavabitch.
8.) We tell noobs that we've seen obscure, foreign, hard to find, banned video nasty films.
Most of these are on Amazon.com.
9.) We also say the French, Japanese, Chinese, Canadian, British, German make the best horror flicks these days.
We don't watch any of these because we hate subtitles.
10.) We've all met Kane Hodder, Ken Foree and Tiffany Shepis at some horror convention.
And we've all made that our Facebook profile photo.
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Guilty as charged? What other shunning the mainstream things have horror fans done they may not be aware of? Now I'm going to watch Addio Zio Tom because you never heard of it.
LOL! I loved this post. Mainly because I like to laugh at myself. I know I can and have done some of these. I think if you can't laugh at your own absurdity then you really miss out on some good shit in life.
ReplyDeleteEveryone does shit like this, not just horror fans.
Now I'm going to go paint my eyes black and watch the original Texas Chainsaw Massacre. Because the remake is crap. ;)
Lol....I will go watch my long lost Video Nasty movie now. :)
ReplyDeleteUseless lists like this one is the most hipsterish thing a hipster horror fan can write about. Most of it inaccurate to boot.
ReplyDelete1.) Anything made in the 70s and 80s is a fuckin cult classic
Bullshit.Those eras had plenty of bad cinema.
2.) We tell noobs to see the originals before the remakes
On very few occasions are remakes superior to the original films. How many remakes from the past decade have been superior? That's what I thought, now you do too.
3.) We're too good to see a movie based on a bestseller because we saw a cult movie based on a cult best seller.
No,it's because that bestseller was lame and the film adaptation is doubly so.
4.) We all wear ironic horror t-shirts with humorish text or 80s slasher nostalgia.
You got me,but only hipsters alter the original ad text or artwork.
5.) We constantly refer to Cannibal Holocaust and Blair Witch Project as the best found footage flicks. Everything else sucks.
Not true at all, only hipsters believe those two films are the best FF films. Check Found Footage Horror on You Tube, plenty of good suggestions there.
6.) We rage when Hollywood skull fucks our childhood by remaking horror movies, yet we go en masse and see these shitty movies
I don't. Or I just download it free for a laugh.
7.) We all have horror blogs
No,but I'll get around to it.
8.) We tell noobs that we've seen obscure, foreign, hard to find, banned video nasty films.
Many are only available on bootleg discs or from foreign releases.
9.) We also say the French, Japanese, Chinese, Canadian, British, German make the best horror flicks these days.
Only hipster horror geeks hate subtitles. The rest of us have no problem with them. What are you from the American south?
10.) We've all met Kane Hodder, Ken Foree and Tiffany Shepis at some horror convention.
Guilty as charged but none of them are on my facebook profile.
cool post jaded! inspired me at a point and then coming in here brought on another. i'll do the latter first...
ReplyDelete@anonymous 1:29pm. damn yo.. chill out, panties in a bunch there?
i personally hate subs and i'm not a horror fan but i like a small bit in the anime genre.. the dramatic non cutesy stuff, and don't even bring the "penis tentacle monster" crap my way, but i gotta say i think it's the other genre where this subtitle battle rages on just as much. IMHO, the anti-subtitle people are on par in their loathing and upturned noses with the anti-smokers!
i'm not saying dubs are better, they are stupid! especially when compared to if you read what's actually being said. however, i often will just skip the flick altogether if it's subbed.
why? cause i want to watch the movie and soak in the cinematography or whatever. admittedly, i'm probably slightly slower than average at reading and that plus doing the dance of focusing my eye's one way for the text and different for the scene the whole movie is annoying and detracts from the whole point of watching a movie for me.
personally, if reading it is, i'd just rather read the book and do the scenes in my head. i enjoy that way more.
i wish there was an option in dubbed movies where the voice actors, would read true to translation, like an audiobook perhaps, instead of being totally obsessed in trying to make the lips match. i could deal with that.. and cool it with the funny voices already! seriously, why they gotta make like vaudevillian actors or something? make's a bad thing worse (aside from kung fu films, that's where it actually rocks=).
great example for me was "oldboy" what a fantastic movie with amazing cinematography... and gawd awful dubtrack. 1st time i stopped it in the first scene, only tried again on a friends urging. it was way worth it even in dub.
seriously, there's gotta be more people like me on this. unfortunately, anytime anybody criticizes subs, like ten or twenty fanatics gotta leap outta the woodwork and act like beasts to them hurling insults, like we're idiots or "from the south", btw, i'm from NYC punk! (and i gotta say, to make a post as complex as that as "anonymous", especially given the fact you admit to want to possibly have a blog one day, is kinda punkish. lulz!)
anyways, that's my piece. um, i did have a prediction too, but, um. nevermind.
and my other point..
ReplyDeletehere's a thing i never understood about smaller genre fans/snobs/hipsters. um, i think this relates to some of the stuff jaded touched on so i'll just relate it to a smaller genre i really like, gangsta flicks.. it's the one where a new movie comes out that has merit to the genre, is enjoyable, however happens to be a retelling, although not necessarily a "remake" of a previous done movie. inevitably all the purists will go wild calling said flick a ripoff bla bla bla, and get truly mad about it.
the way i see it we are dealing with a limited genre as to which not that many good additions are to be expected year in and out and i'm just personally happy to have something new to enjoy in a loved genre.
why can't i view the god father trilogy as one of the greats but still have a ball enjoying "the king of new york", "brother (2000)" or even "shottas" also?
zeeshe, people, get a grip, loosen up and take the gift!
PS: i'm probably gonna get massacred for saying this on a blog with the interests that are prominent here but "dawn of the dead 04" totally owned dotd 78! LOL!!! i mean it was really well done, blood and guts (not that 78 had much, lol, lol!) are just better in color and c'mon, RUNNERs!, everybody knew that rocked even if they didn't wanna admit it! lol! i mean is the king wearing clothes or what?
i know i'm in for it now, but anybody got my back at all on this?? =D
I got 7 out of 10.
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